Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Sherry’s Lesson about everyone else…

Sherry’s Lesson for today:

This is a lesson that was repeated over and over throughout my life…
In fact, I just re-visited this last week, while mentally half asleep, I made such a decision..

And here it goes….”Everyone else is doing it…everyone else is wearing this…everyone else gets to go…”

It made sense to me that if everyone else gets to, so should I, get to…

If everyone else wears that, then why do I have to wear this?

And why does everyone else get a key around their neck and you won’t trust me with the house key around my neck?

AND…why do all of my friends get to eat Oreos and we have to eat what is in the cookie jar?

Her answer was simple every single time…”Coral, you are not everyone else…so you cannot do what everyone else does…”

What bullshit!!!! I mean really…is that all you’ve got?

And it was like she was waiting for that shitty response from me, just so she could come with it…

“Right is right and wrong is wrong…no matter who does it or doesn’t do it…and you will not do anything because everyone else is doing it…you will do what you are supposed to do regardless…and you don’t have a house key around your neck, because I am home when you get home and you don’t need a key. The cookies in the cookie jar are homemade, with lots of love and that is why you don’t have Oreos, like everyone else…”

So…there is me and there is everyone else…there are my decisions and my consequences for those decisions and then there is everyone else…and what is right for someone else may not be what is right for me…it made enough sense to me. I still did not like it or embrace it right away…sometimes, I still don’t embrace it at all…

In retrospect, I would give just about anything for one of those homemade 🍪 cookies from the cookie jar that she always kept full for my Brother, my Dad and I… (what a little shit I was to want what everyone else was eating, instead of the love cookies my Mom made us…I feel really sad thinking about that…huge lump in my throat as I write about my behavior…I’m sorry Mom…)

And the house key…that didn’t hit me for many years…that I didn’t need a key because my Mom was at home awaiting my arrival…our house wasn’t empty…and I wasn’t a parentified child…I was fucking blessed and horribly ungrateful…

Like I said…what a little shit…and I’m going to share this post anyway…even though it makes me look like an ass, because maybe, just maybe, it will help someone else…

I now have my own house key, to the house I always came home to, with my Mom waiting for me …but my Mom is not there waiting anymore…the cookie jar is empty and has been empty for many, many years…

And frankly, I don’t know what anyone else would do in this situation, but I cry an awful lot. I cry for what I had and didn’t appreciate like I wished I had…I cry for the empty house and the empty cookie jar…

I cry just thinking how I may have hurt my Mom’s feelings throughout the years…because I didn’t mean to. I pray that she knew that…

Today, I do Coral…I do the best Coral I can…I try to take “supposed to” out of my vocabulary completely…I live in gratitude…I don’t eat many Oreos, even though I can have as many Oreos as I want…

Mostly, I thank Sherry for teaching me that it really is not my business, what everyone else is doing…I’ve got plenty to worry about, just worrying about me and what I’m doing…

I love you Mom and I am SO very sorry for the many times I took you and your love for me for granted…I never really did want to be everyone else…I just hadn’t learned to do me just yet…

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