Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Today, we release our blame, back to the ducking universe…

Good morning! Tough start this morning, so please hang in here with me. Still groggy and just got the coffee going. Wiping the sleep from my eyes and stumbling through the house, I have stumbled over the wheelchair I made for Parsley, her last bowl of duckie food in the kitchen sink and the picture that Tamara gave me of her for Valentines Day…and I am fucking destroyed. (or, ironically, as predective text would have it, ducking)

Fuck is one of my favorite words and my phone always corrects me…fuck is duck and fucking is ducking and we are all so ducked…good morning Parsley…I see you have come to visit us all this morning and we are ducking glad you did..thank you buddy!

I went to the tub to say good morning and to get ready to swim, swim, swim…

Anyone else wake up empty and destroyed today? Anyone else missing someone else so badly that you literally feel your heart breaking inside your chest cavity? Fuck! Duck! Fuck!

Maybe your best friend didn’t come and wake you up this morning with a lick across your face. Maybe your husband is not asleep in the other room, like he has always been. Maybe your Mom went to be with Jesus a couple of years ago and your Dad died when you were two. Maybe your wife took everything you own and literally left you in the middle of the night l, with another guy, whose baby she is carrying. Maybe you watched your baby lose her babies. Maybe you miss me. Maybe I miss you. Maybe you are dying and you really need to stay, because your kids need you…your husband needs you…whatever your “maybe”…can we all agree on…DUCK!!! This ducking hurts!!! Duck, Duck, Fuck…it just fucking hurts, doesn’t it?

Here is some good news, for us all…we are not hurting alone. We are not all debilitated by only the deceased either, are we? Some of us, many of us, are missing people who are still right here, aren’t we? Aren’t we all missing someone who we just cannot fucking reach anymore and isn’t it a ducking shame that they stopped trying to reach us?

Is the person that you miss laying in bed right next to you? And yet, because they have been lying with someone else…lying to you…they really are not laying next to you at all?

Are you missing your soul dog, so much that your very soul feels crushed and lifeless? Did your daughter leave and never make it home again?

Did your son murder someone and you have no idea where in the fuck he came from or how to help him anymore? Hell, maybe you didn’t help him in the first place, and this is all your fault, right? NOT right…please hear me when I say…that is not how this all works…whatever and whoever it is…take the blame out of it. For you, for your heart…remove the blame.

Every single one of us is blaming someone, for something. I am. You are. Maybe you, like me, are blaming yourself…that fucking counts double! Just sayin…if you blame no one, and still blame yourself…you are blaming someone, the most important someone, on your journey…you are blaming you.

So…all together now, holding hands red rover style, arms swaying back and forth, creating some momentum, so that we are unbreakable, so that we are fucking invincible…so that you cannot get through…so that you will not break through our wall and break on through to the other side…STOP. Just stop the blame.

Stop blaming everyone for anything. Stop blaming yourself. Stop blaming your spouse. Stop blaming your kids. Stop blaming your parents. Just stop. Here is why…who fucking cares? Truly…who the duck cares whose fault it is or who started it? Who is going to end it? All of it…end it…here. End it now. End the blame…just like that…just fucking stop…

You had a bad Mom…let it go. You were a bad Mom…learn something, make some amends, and for your sake, let it go. You know better…now you do better. If you truly are sorry, be sorry…say you are sorry…do something to make it right, for the kid that you hurt. You are a Mom, if you know you hurt them, help to heal them…fuck, help to heal you too. Remember this also, you are a human being, being human, just like those of us who are not Moms…know that you are a human being…being human first, before you were ever a Mom…and do what you know, in your heart, that you need to do to make things right…and hey, do that. Whatever “that” is, you know what that it is…I don’t and I don’t need to…you do and you do need to…stop blaming yourself and be accountable…do what you need to do and do better moving forward…forgive yourself and let yourself be forgiven…

I am not a Mom, thank you Jesus, for us all! I have mad respect for every single one of you who are and I thank you for your service to this world, for your effort to do your best, to show up, to try your hardest. I thank my Mom, with all of my heart, for being my Mom. God, I love watching her dance all around me, smiling and bouncing and singing, not being a Mom, or a wife…or Sherry…just being Spirit…I fucking love that she is free and I am thankful, so very thankful, for my Mom.

My Mom greeted us at the Rainbow Bridge, with Tamara’s Mom, with so many others…Toomie, Luba, Zen and Ohana and Karma…Quackle and Rosemary…they all came to welcome Parsley home yesterday, to carry her across the bridge, until she could fly, fly, fly on her own…and fly, fly, fly she did…

Parsley flew while she was here, even though her wings didn’t permit it…Parsley flew millions of miles, inside herself, while she was still here…I watched her and I felt her, fly, fly, fly…her whole life. The broken little body that housed her for over three years was finally shed yesterday, so her soul could lift off, and boy did her soul lift off! Just like my Moms soul…soared like a ducking eagle out of those broken little bodies…

My use of the word ducking today is in loving memory and honor our our girl Parsley…I ducking love you baby girl and my heart breaks…thank you for teaching me how to love on a level that I never knew I could love or be loved on…one day you will teach me to fly, fly, fly with you!

And now…remember the breath that I taught you?  How about we take a few breaths together to close this post and start our day…

Slow and deep, inhale, nothing but love and life force…and let that sink in…let it permeate and hydrate all of your cells…take as many love breaths as you need and take as long as you need, to feel the love, fill you up and start to overflow…and now, the very intentioned exhale, to let all of that shit go…slow and intentioned breath, out through your pursed lips…all of the pain, the anger, the resentment and the blame…breathe all of it out, with me…let it all go, with me…and take a quick moment, with me to say “thank you” for all of it…feel with me, grateful for every single thing that you just released, back into the universe, to be recycled, for the greatest good of us all…thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for being here with me again this morning and thank you, for giving yourself a fucking break…for giving yourself forgiveness, for offloading all of that blame that crippled you…thank you for being kind to you. Whether you realize it or not, your kindness to yourself, is going to help us all more than any of us may realize in this moment…to change the ducking world…

Mark my words, your kindness, to yourself…my kindness to myself and our kindness to one another…WE WILL, WE ARE, CHANGING THE WORLD!!!!D49A3128-9760-4EA0-9B00-315CAACA2D9F

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