Good morning and Happy Mother’s Day to all of you Mom’s out there! What a wonderful day to spend some time with the woman who brought you into this world. What a great day to pick up that phone and call your Mom. Take her to lunch. Pick up a card for her. Do something that would make her day…something that only you know how to do to light up her face.
Our Mom’s…who are these women? One time when I was really struggling with my Mom, Tamara told me to remember, that our Mom’s are really just people too. Our Mom’s are just like us…flawed and fallible. Mom’s make mistakes? Mom’s fuck up? Say it isn’t so! On some level, I must have known this, and yet, I wasn’t consciously aware that my Mom was a human being, with an awful lot of expectation put upon her, just for being a Mom.
There is not a handbook for being a Mom, is there? Mom 101 isn’t a course you can actually take, is it? Are there doctorates in Mom? Are there Courses and lectures and books and graduation ceremonies for Mom’s who have completed successfully, a course to qualify them for the lifetime commitment that they made by bringing us into this world? Let that sink in for a moment…it is still soaking in for me. Thank you for that Tamara.
We all have expectations. I found that they are for me, often disguised as hopes and wishes. Expectations rain down on our Mom’s don’t they? Just by nature…by default…being a Mom, from the moment you’re expecting a baby, is a huge expectation, isn’t it? What do you do when you have huge expectation placed upon you?
What if Mom’s were one of us? (Thank you Joan Osborne)
What if Mom was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make Her way home?
Mom’s are one of us, just slobs like some of us, just strangers on the bus, trying to make their ways home. Something to really consider when your Mom doesn’t live up to your expectations. Something to consider if you’re a Mom and you feel like you’re trying your hardest and doing your best, and still not hitting the mark…you’re just a child, like all of us, trying to find your way home…be gentle with yourself you beautiful ladies.
My Mom found her way home and I carry her in my heart especially close today, on Mother’s Day. I celebrate my Mom and all that she was, all that she was not, in her short lifetime. I release my Mom today of the many expectations that I knowing or unknowingly placed upon her, and I set her soul and her spirit free to be Sherry…whoever that beautiful woman is…free of the title of Mom and wife…Today, on Mother’s Day, I give my Mom the greatest gift that I can possibly think of…the gift to be herself…to be completely free from any ties that I have left binding her. Happy Mother’s Day to the most amazing Mom I ever knew…the Mom who gave this life to me. A letter to my Mom on Mother’s Day:
Happy Mother’s Day! I went to bed last night, dreading missing you today. I decided I wasn’t going to do this to myself again this year. I won’t deface this beautiful day by sitting here missing you so much that I forget that you are still right here with me.
I celebrate you today. I celebrate you every day. I miss you today. I miss you every day. I love you today. I love you every day. I picked out a very special gift for you this year, for this day. This was a hard one and it took more than all of my allowance. This gift took all of my life savings…every last cent I had…every single thing I have left in me…I scraped it all together, to give you your Mother’s Day gift this year. I can say I have outdone myself on this one, for sure…best gift ever! Are you ready to open your gift?!? You know me…I can’t keep a secret or a surprise and I am way more excited about you unwrapping this gift than I have ever been about anything I have ever unwrapped in my life!!
After way too much thought and careful consideration. After two and a half years of agonizing grief and inconsolable pain and suffering. After living in my past for a lifetime…and trying to measure up and do things “right”…I have decided to gift us both my release from this inconsolable pain. I can’t be here now and be where you were. I can’t be here now and be back there too. I know you’ve been telling me this, and in true Coral fashion, I needed to find out for myself.
I will never not miss you and I will never not long to hear your voice or the clicking of your heels. I will forever long to be in your arms and in your comfort. You are my Mom and I miss you so much, so, so, so much.
Today though, on Mother’s Day, I am going to go help Tamara bottle feed Ahimsa. I am going to carry Pranja around on my chest. I am going to love Baby Taos and Rocky and Aliah and Karma kitty a little extra, a little harder and a little more intentioned today. I am going to celebrate Tamara and I on Mother’s Day this year for doing our best to learn the skills you had to learn all by yourself when you first had me.
How do you hold that bottle and get her to latch on, all while not losing your mind trying to find the just right way, so she will drink, so she won’t be hungry? How do you wrap that tiny being in a swaddling blanket? Is this poop sick poop or healthy poop? Concerns that you worked through, without your Mom manual, that we are working through now, without our manuals.
Thank you Mom, for always doing the very best you could. Thank you for dedicating your life to being Shawn’s and my Mom and Dad’s wife.
For my part in it, today I grant you release to just be Sherry…or not even be Sherry…be whomever you are…and wherever you are. I would love it if you would come by and visit us today while we are out taking care of all of our babies.
I love you Mom. Happy Mother’s Day to a Mom that I know, with all of my heart and everything in me, did her very best.
I love you to the moon and back, for always and forever,
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you amazing Mom’s, to you less than amazing Mom’s, to all of you Mom’s who are giving it your best and all you’ve got, to all of you expecting Moms and grieving Moms…to my Mom and to your Mom…Happy Mother’s Day! I love you!
To my beautiful girl Tamara, who is the best Mom I know, to all of these amazing and sentient beings…Happy Mother’s Day Tamara. I love you with all of my heart, to the moon and back…