Happy early Sunday morning everyone! My girl comes home on this day and I am so excited! I am so happy that she got away and had some time with her family and I am so, so glad she is on her way home to us!
Also, I am so glad that you are here! My blog had been all over the place. I have been all over the place. I’m glad we came back together in the healing room this morning. For all of your love and all of your prayers…thank you. I love you and I pray for you too.
I want to write this morning about how we see one another. How do we see one another? Do we see the God within the person looking back at us? Do we see the God within ourselves peering back in the mirror at us? We are God. God is us. However you do or do not see God…G.O.D Good Orderly Direction (Thank you for that Tamara). God your Savior. It matters not, for We are all just walking each other home. My point is that when we look at one another, we reflect ourselves back. It does not matter who you are looking at…this is true. If you light up at the sight of me you are mirroring a part of yourself that lights you up. If you want to cut me when you see me, and not that that ever happens…you are also mirroring a part of yourself that I trigger in you that you are less than pleased with.
Do you not want me to be better? Do you not want better for me than to see me not being better than you know I have potential to be? Of course you do! The great news is that this means you want this for yourself on some level too. You want to be better than you are. You want to be integrity and to epitomize the reality that integrity is what we do when no one is looking. Let’s talk about integrity for a second, shall we? Recall in this instant the last thing that you saw that didn’t set well with you that you did something to make better? Maybe you picked up a piece of trash. Maybe you helped someone in need. And…maybe you didn’t. Only you know…no one else. Here’s the clincher though, and the one that you completely disregard every single time…YOU know better. YOU are disempowering yourself by not doing better. You…the God within you…your inner moral compass…no matter who you are or what you do…you know. You fucking know. And guess what? So does she. You think that you have fooled yourself and by doing so you have convinced yourself somehow that you have fooled her too. You have not fooled either one of you and you’ve made yourself a fool as the door hits you where the good Lord split you because she doesn’t want to be fooled anymore. You already know she’s gone…your intuition (that is God talking to you by the way) has already spoken. We feel it. We know it. We often don’t want to know and much of the time we don’t know how to know what we have come to know and we know just the same, don’t we? Integrity…that’s who each of us live with or without every single day. What we do when no one is watching is what defines us. If you want to lie to me, be my guest. If you think that by doing so you aren’t doing the most damage to you…I offer you these words…be the change. Tell the fucking truth. It’s easier for one thing because you don’t have to keep track of the lies you told. Most of all though…it’s all we really have. If we can’t trust each other…those closest to us in our very own beds and homes…we need to make some more healthy choices for ourselves, don’t we. If you do not respect me enough to tell me the absolute truth, then please don’t say it at all. Give me you and I will give you me. Those of you who know me well know I’ve done it backwards my whole life…I gave it and hoped you earned it…your trust. It’s your trust. You earn it and we can go from there. For those of you living in lies…for those of you lying…for those of you being lied to…Why? If it’s not true, it’s not real…if it’s not real…look at that and do something about it.
Many of us are consciously working twelve step programs. All of us are working twelve step programs whether we know it or not. If you want to two step your fucking life away, don’t do it on my watch. Not anymore. Be a good and decent human being. Be honest. Practice integrity in all things. Be of service. Go out there and DO it and stop trying to do it. Yoda says that “there is no try, only do.”Go out there and get it and stop fucking whining about not having it. Save the marriage that your pissing away by being unaccountable. Tell her the fucking truth…she already knows so be the person big enough to realize that and own your shit before she asks you again or calls you out again. Love him enough to let him go if he’s really not the one. Let him go find the one. We all deserve the one. Don’t hold on to the one whose not the one because you have not found the one…be a good and kind person. You know what is right and just. Go do that. Be of service. Do something every single day for someone who can never repay you. Most of all though, be honest with yourself. Gut wrenching and soul crushing work…and so worth it. Why would any of us ever want to be with anyone who made us a second choice to anyone else in the first place? Be it a bottle or another woman…another man or a dissatisfaction for the way things are…Why would we stay when they left when they stepped out in the first place? We have to love ourselves better before we can love anyone else better. Loving someone better is a verb. Whatever truth that you have held that came to you during this post…go share that truth with the person you have been lying to and set you both free. Be the change. Be love in action. Integrity…it does matter. What are you doing when you think no one is looking? If you don’t like your answer…get up of your ass and go change it! Have a beautiful Sunday everyone! I love you! Did I mention that my girl comes home today?!