Good morning. I come here to tell you that I just can’t come here today. I hope you have a beautiful day. I hope I will be back soon. For now though, I just can’t. I love you.
Good evening everyone. I am glad you’re here, as I learn to return here more completely. My absence of self has been overwhelming. I have been dark and sad and lost. Not wanting to say things I can’t take back and not wanting to blame…I just had to turn within for a bit. I am reconciled now and I pick myself up and I dust myself off and I forge ahead.
I was reminded by Wayne Dyer today that the wake cannot ever drive the boat. The wake is the trail left behind…our history’s and our pasts….we must leave our pasts behind us, where they belong, if we are ever to truly move ahead. I have been stuck looking to the trail left behind me, for guidance for my future, and that is why I am stagnant. I have reflected there and pondered there enough. I have not been here…right here, right now. I have been blinded by my own pain and paralyzed by my own fears and I’m done doing that.
I must not stay asleep. I must open my eyes to the beauty and inspiration that I am. We must all do this. We must all awaken to our callings. We must live our purpose and not the will of others imposed upon us any longer.
The worst pain of my life hit me and I knew not what to do. I did the best I could to stand up for what I believe in my heart to be right and just and true. I stepped out of bounds with my soul for a second to defend my heart and I’m okay with that. I have stepped back into my own souls purpose and desire. I set my sword down. I set my anger and my resentment and my entitlement and my expectation down. I set the weight of this pain that is crushing my soul down.
I thank you for being here. I thank you for being patient with me as I navigate this storm. Your love and prayers are priceless to me and I thank you. I pray for you also and I love you back! I am horribly wounded and learning to drop the illusion that my wake could ever possibly drive this boat. I am so thankful for Dr. Dyer…so, so thankful. I love you Wayne. Thank you!
Have a beautiful evening everyone. I love you.