Good morning everyone. And so begins my journey into myself. The acceptance that comes in mid fall has finally taken hold. I surrender. I let go. I set it down and I walk through the pain. The prison…the bars…the confinement, lifted. The worry and the doubt, subsided, as I learn that I am only here to be me. I am perfect. I have always been perfect. You are perfect too. You have always been perfect too.
I woke in my Silly’s House this morning. Silly and I have shared houses and waking space before. Today, on this morning, the same and different. Old and new. Completion of it all and a new beginning. Releasing the old to make way for the new. And it’s all good. It has always been okay.
My programming got hacked and all of my wires are being unplugged and unraveled. My thoughts are harsh and punishing and I set it down. My ideas, once far off and inaccessible to me…become my own garden. My life is mine. My thoughts are mine. I am mine. I did not know these things. I could not remember or retrieve theses things. I could not separate myself from the rubble. I knew I was in there and I could not set me free from it. My thoughts wandering and babbling…my prayers on the tip of my tongue and I, unable to spit out the words. The chaos to a calm. The spinning to a halt. I am enough. I am. This is it. I am it. These words are starting to fit, where once they were foreign. Something has shifted. Something changed. Some things are beginning to reveal all things. The closure has created an opening and the absence has created and invitation. The empty opening to be filled and the void…the void becomes my morning sunrise.
I lie here different this morning. I can not pinpoint it or put it into words. It does not feel to be tangible, this acceptance I have come to, of all that is. My knowing of all that has been and my detachment from it. My pleasure and healing in my own pain becomes my fuel for the next leg of my journey.
The light takes over the darkness and the world comes alive. I lie here pondering how to place myself into the light. Where do I want to be in the spectrum of rainbow that is me?
I have never woken from this place. Not this couch, not in this awareness, that tells me that everything is okay. The fear melted off and the acceptance of what is, seated itself comfortably there instead. I know that my waking here is monumental and of great significance, although I know not why. I know that last night holds keys I didn’t even know existed, as the pendulum swings and my energy sorts itself out. The acceptance is soaking in and I am not sure how to feel in the okayness of everything.
I came here to heal. I came here to set down that which I cannot carry…all of that which is not mine. I came here to invite myself home. This seems ambiguous and scattered right now, as it begins to sort itself out. There is no overwhelm…just a vast expanse of unexplored territory to journey through. I am not stressed or pressed for time. Time seems to have erased itself, as I accept my being here as it is. Maybe for another day and maybe for a lifetime nearly done. Maybe or maybe not. It really doesn’t matter.
Memories shift into spaces made just for for them. No ripping or pulling…just shifting. Trauma falls away and lies lifeless before me, as the momentum that kept it going has moved to serve another shift for someone else. Yours and mine shuffles and finds their place and we become one. We realize we are one. We accept that we are one. Our oneness melts the need to find a resting place, as we lift each other up and through the storm. Cars and houses and people come to life, as though the neighborhood just woke up to find its trolley through My neighborhood. My terrain becomes the beauty before me and my rear view mirror obscures itself behind me. I set my intention to the heights of my own being. I set my healing in place for my own highest good. Although I’m not sure what all of this means right now. I knew I needed to write it all down. Before I rise to begin a new day, I needed to write it down.
As I got dressed and left my Silly’s house, as everyone else slept this morning, I knew somehow that I was different inside. I knew I was good to go, however that looks.
I pray to be chosen by the angel who came down. I place my faith and trust that all is unfolding according to Gods great plan. My highest self unfolding. And I am thankful. Today, I came home before I went back out into the world, to remind me that I home. I have always been home. I will always be home. I am home. I didn’t come home to change my clothes. I leave them on again, as a blanket, as I shed my old skin and find The Cloak of the Christ to sink into.
I love you silly. Sleep tight until we chat again. I love you! Thank you angels. Thank you for coming down. I love you.
I had this in my drafts. I share it this morning as my knowing of the good things coming. In this space I give myself what I need this morning and I bid you farewell. Have a beautiful day! I love you.