Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Please pray with me this morning.

Good morning everyone! Happy Sunday. I will make this brief. I am calling up all of your love and prayers today for a dear sister, struggling on her journey from this life into the next. Sitting on the edge and not quite ready to make the leap. I am asking each of you to stop what you are doing and take a moment before you begin your day, before church…to pray with me.

Our Heavenly Father,

Please lift our sister up into your loving arms. God shine down upon her and fill her with your mercy and your grace🙏. Most of all Father, fill her with your love and allow her her own forgiveness, as she has long been forgiven by those she has wronged. Please father, help her to know and not doubt this. It keeps her here and she is ready to be there. Please come for her and take her into yourself, that she be born anew, to continue your work. Our sister knows of her next mission and so father I ask you to remove the cloud that keeps her from her own clarity, that she may say when it’s time and that she may be granted your mercy to let go, when the exact time is right, for her. In the time and space in between father, please take her pain and her worry, her agony and her doubt. As always and in all ways, I humbly thank you for hearing our prayer. Our sister is in our hands now. When she is ready father, I will lift her up to you, that she not get lost along her way to you. With all of my love and gratitude, I thank you for hearing our prayer. And so it is. Amen.

A message from Teddy this morning…

Happy Saturday everyone! Welcome home! Thank you for all of the love for Teddy. My life is better for the years I spent walking next to him. What a beautiful soul. What a gentleman. What a friend. What a loss for my heart this morning as I head out to see Teddy’s family, without Teddy this morning. These moments in my work remind me why I do what I do in this world. I have been gifted, blessed and loved and I’m going to share my gifts as much and as often as I can. The break in my heart where Teddy exited is the light that I enter into this morning.

On my way to work on Thursday morning, I hit a squirrel. The squirrels name was Peter. I locked down on my brakes and I swerved, to no avail, as my tires ended Peters life. I was destroyed. I was wailing in agony. I had to hit Peter again, as I did not want him to suffer. The pain in my heart as my tires rolled over Peter again. I was crushed and destroyed inside. The agony of taking a life consumed me and I wept. God, did I weep. Peter came to me and told me that he had run in front of me on purpose…that fifteen years here was quite enough. Peter told me that he saw me swerve and miss him many times before, in our truck and in our Jeep. Peter killed himself on Thursday, under the weight of my FJ. Peters life ended at my hands and I cried. I drove home and Tamara came to me. I collapsed in my carport and I wept. I sobbed. I hurt so badly for wha I had done. Peter was 15. I was late to my client, as I tried to compose myself. I made it to my client and so saw Teddy. My heart shattered again.

Teddy was to join his friend Peter. Peter left just before Teddy to prepare a place for him. Teddy held on for as long as his body would let him…all for the love of WC, his beautiful father. Teddy’s love for WC is unmatched. When Teddy knew that WC was going to be okay…when he knew that his Dad was home and safe and well…he was able to shed his broken body. Teddy waited for his Dad and then Peter waited for Teddy. Peter and Teddy are with me now and they send all of their love to us

Teddy day this to us this morning…I got here swiftly. I was accompanied by my traveling companion Peter. Peter shared my dog bed in a stuffed squirrel body, so that I could find him when I left here. I am a sight hound with bad sight and so Peter came with me to show the way. I see perfection now. I am perfection now. A gentleman and a scholar, I lived my life in greatness. I bit a child once and I never was quite okay again. I felt bad. I don’t feel bad anymore, as I now know it was the way of things. My mom is love and I learned a great deal by watching her love and move in the world. Coral, Hannah and Gypsy day hello and please tell Alice I’m still there, so don’t mess with me! And Penny, be nice to my sister. Only I boss her. And Dad…you’re doing great. I’m your angel now…your guardian Teddy dog, at your service. I know that you don’t like to pray, so I talked to God and he said it’s fine with him if you prefer to say, Dear Teddy…I will always give him your messages and his to you. I’ve gotta go or Coral will be late to work on my brother and sister.

Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you. Thank you Peter and Teddy for coming to see us this morning!

Aiden came home a year ago today! Welcome home Aiden! We love you!

A year ago today, Aiden came home! Many of you were here a year ago, loving and praying and helping us to get Aiden back to his family. A year later, Aiden and I and Aidens family, thank you so, so much for all of your love and prayers and help to get him back where he belongs. I saw Aiden yesterday when we went to walk Teddy home. There is something about being with Aiden they rights the wrong in my world. There is just something about Aiden that makes life make sense a little more to me. It was Teddy’s time to cross the Rainbow Bridge and Aiden gently reminded me of that as my tears fell on Aidens little head.

I think of the countless beings that Aiden sees and holds space for every day. I know Aiden is the comfort and the confidence of those less brave than he is. Aiden was missing for twelve days, in dire circumstances, with huge medical challenges. Aiden never gave up and we never gave up on Aiden. Aiden is that guy…four pounds of glorious wonder and love and courage. Aiden is the epitome of love, of service, of life. Aiden does life and Aiden does life big!

I try to see Aiden once or twice a week. In the last year, Aiden has become part of my life and my routine…part of my heart and a piece of my very soul. Aiden and I hid in recliners and abandoned cars together. Aiden and his mom and I clocked hours and hours of time searching for Aiden. Aidens friends at work and APD and so, so many of you, spent countless hours looking for Aiden. We were all in, looking for Aiden and Aiden was all in letting us know how to reach him. Aiden came home because there is nowhere else in the world for Aiden to be. Aiden and his love for his family, his families love for him and the love of so many who wished him well…love brought Aiden back to us! I have come to love Aidens family just as much as I love Aiden and I am so grateful that they are reunited. Thank you love for bringing Aiden home.

Today, Aiden and I want to remind us all that we are here to walk each other home. We are here to love each other. Life is hard sometimes and people are shitty sometimes. Our worlds collide with people who are less evolved and more miserable than we may know. We get knocked off of our stride by people who haven’t found their own stride just yet. Aiden says to help them find their stride and not to judge them for not striding like you. I concur. Aiden said that we must love the most unloveable people the most because they need it the most. Aiden says that the mean ones are the ones who have been hurt the worst and that we should find a way to be nice to them. Aiden says that those who take from us are the ones who don’t have what it takes to fill themselves….they are empty and they are hurting. Aiden says love them the hardest. Aiden doesn’t fuck around with love and he says, in no uncertain terms, that everyone deserves our love. Aiden is my mentor and I go to him in my trials and my tribulations. When I can’t find a way to love the most egregious..Aiden reminds me that I actually don’t know how not to love. I am love Aiden says, just like you, just like Aiden…we are love.

In your life right now, there is someone, who is slowing your roll. There is someone coming up against you. There is conflict and upset. In your life, someone is making more difficult, something that was working just fine, before they put their hands on it. In all of our lives, we will be faced with those who do not love,with those who judge and make difficult our journey. Aiden says to break out your love because this is where your love belongs. These are your obstacles and these experiences level you up…these are opportunities to see what you are made of. Loving the unlovable, well that’s why we are here! Loving Aiden is easy. Loving others, maybe not so much. Love isn’t always easy Aiden says…love is always worth it.

Siting here this morning, remembering my morning from a year ago…the morning that Aiden returned home…I am humbled. I am thankful. I am blessed. Thank you everyone for bringing Aiden home.

Aidens family has become my family. Aidens mom and his brothers Jackson and Michael have become my dearest friends. We walked through hell together and there is just something about that…something about walking through fire like that that bonds people together.

Yesterday when I carried Teddy to the back of the vet, Aiden was standing by. Teddy wasn’t going to make it out this time. Teddy took his last ride yesterday and Aiden knew this when he saw me holding Teddy. Aiden was there as Teddy left this world. Aidens mom was there as Teddy left this world. Aidens mom is the most amazing, kind and compassionate DVM that I have ever had the privilege of working closely with. Sitting with Janet and Kacie and Teddy in the floor of the goodbye room at the vet yesterday, we sobbed inconsolably as we walked Teddy to the rainbow bridge. Our hearts were not ready as Teddys body finally gave out. I tried to contain my inconsolable pain and tears. I could not contain them and I broke, and Kacie held us through it. It takes not only a special veterinarian, it takes an amazing human being, to do what Kacie does every single day. To be good at ones job is progress…to be the epitome of ones profession though, that’s Aidens mom. I am so blessed to know Aiden and his family…my chosen family. I am so thankful to be celebrating Aidens homecoming one year later. Thank you to each and every one of you who had a part in bringing Aiden home!

For old times sake, why don’t we all say it together…”Welcome home Aiden! We love you.”

Have a beautiful day today everyone. Please send Aiden and his family and Teddy and his family all of your love this morning. We never know the struggle of someone else, so Aiden reminds us to always, in all ways, to be kind.

Turn me inside out…

Good morning! I must say that my heart really is feeling you guys. Fuck! We are all struggling with some stuff, aren’t we? The struggle is real. We all have people in our lives that hurt our heart, that don’t see us, that don’t love us like a verb. We all have that tendency to fight back when we are attacked, to buckle under siege. We all look a certain way on the outside. I dropped this picture in, of my little brother and I, to iterate that. We are not merely our physical appearance. I do not look how I looked before. The hair is gone. The dress is gone. The makeup and the man standing beside me…all gone. My little brother isn’t so little and his life, like his physical container, are not that same guy anymore. We all stand in time and space and pictures like this. Time stands still and we are captured in mere moments. We aren’t as we were on the inside either, are we?

I was “fuckable”back then and harassed constantly. I was the object of the most ridiculous advances and pick up lines. I was the girl the guys wanted. Only I wanted girls. I have always loved the guys and wanted to be with the girls. Even with that hair and makeup, in that dress, in those high heels, I have always loved the ladies. We see each other all wrong. We see each other right side out, instead of inside out. I don’t give a fuck what your face looks like…I am going to turn you inside out to see that beautiful heart of yours.

These photos are to remind us all to see people inside out. We are missing so much by seeing it all wrong. What matters is on the inside. What counts is what we are made up of…who we are when no one is looking. Who we really are…it’s not in the face we put forth for the camera…it’s the heart behind it all. Hearts are not ugly and therefore, we are each our own beautiful masterpiece. You are fucking gorgeous, just the way you are…you really are.

Take the hair away. Take the dress and the makeup and the panty hose and kick off those high heels…and you have Coral. The authentic Coral…the real deal. Turn me inside out and you have the same thing. We are who we tell ourselves we are. We are fucking beautiful!

Have a wonderful day everyone! I love you!

We love you Teddy…

I lost my very dear friend Teddy today. I don’t have words just yet. My heart is broken. Teddy has been my client for the past five years and we had to walk Teddy across the rainbow bridge this morning.

Please send all of your love to Teddy’s mom and Dad and to his sister Alice and his brother Penn. Teddy is with Wizard and Gypsy and Hannah now, free from pain and suffering.

Teddy, I love you and I miss you so much my friend. Please stay close. I was not ready for this. I have no idea how I did not…I did not see this coming on this day. I love you Bo-Bo. I love you so, so much. Honor and cherish your precious life and may you run free with your friends!

Please say it with me…”We love you Teddy. Run free sweet boy. Run free.”

Kindness and compassion…it’s what’s missing…I’m calling up your love today…

Good morning everyone! Happy Wednesday. I come with a heavy heart this morning, to the healing room. Why are we so fucking mean and intolerant and judgmental? Why in the fuck are we throwing stones when we live in glass houses ourselves? Why aren’t we holding each other and ourselves accountable? Why do we feel that we have the right to destroy people who don’t think and feel and love and act the way that we do? What in the fuck is right with us you guys? Why are we always so hypersensitive to what the fuck is wrong with everyone? What is right with the most “wrong” person in your life? For all that each of us is not, there is so much that we are. Why can we not start loving each other up instead of tearing each other down?

I really want to dive into this today. We are a hot fucking mess. We are cruel, intolerant and fucking heartless and it is making me sick. We rape our own children. We beat our wives. We fuck around on our husbands. We berate our children. We torture our animals. We live amongst some sick mother fuckers. We are some sick mother fuckers. Wellness will not come by berating one another for being sick. Wellness will come when we start loving each other to wellness and wholeness.

I can look at you and your life and I can see all of the ways that you are “doing it wrong”. I can see how you could do it all better. Easy to see that in my shoes, what I think I might do in your shoes, right? Actually, it’s not right. It is utter fucking bullshit, to think that I can do you better than you do you. You and only you, can do you. I, and only I, can do me. We must begin to know this. What you think of me is none of my fucking business. I know this and yet, I still hurt at your words, at your action and inaction. This tells me I’ve much work yet to do on myself, and I hear that. I take things personally and so I learn not to. For me, it’s a slow process sometimes, to remind myself to think differently. My thinking is the root of all of my pain. And so, I am learning to think differently. This isn’t easy and so when I am out in the world, I am awkward a lot. I’m in here, working stuff out and you’re out there, judging me, like you’ve any fucking idea what I’m going through. I do that to you too. I judge you. I say shit I shouldn’t say and think thoughts that make me embarrassed to be me sometimes. I’ve learned to do this inside and to keep my lips closed. Sometimes though, I slip. In these moments, rest assured that I will tell you bluntly and exactly how I feel. I am flawed. I am a work in progress. I know that you are too. I thought we could help each other out here. Maybe we could lovingly hold one another accountable? Maybe we could lovingly and privately talk, with our actual voices, to one another, when we have something to say? Maybe we could say what we have to say to the person who we are saying it about, rather than to everyone else? Maybe we could use social media outlets to the greater good of us all, rather than to crucify one another for our “shortcomings”? Hey, I’m not you and I’m not for everyone. I know that and I get it. With that being said…if you can’t help me, how about you don’t harm me either? Truly, how about you just go your way and not upset yourself by being in my realm…don’t keep upsetting yourself, watching me, do all of the things that you don’t like to see me do. Why watch a shit show that you are only watching to throw more shit on? Just fucking stop, okay? Just stop being mean to each other. Just stop hurting each other. Just stop acting like you have any idea at all what someone else is going through. We have no fucking idea what storm someone is weathering or what heartbreak someone is enduring. We have no way of knowing how hurt someone is or how close to giving up that they are. We have no clue as to what has caused this kind of behavior or reaction. I can tell you that hurting and taunting and teasing and mocking someone who is already broken, is not only wrong…it’s sickening. If you cannot help them…at the very least, do not harm them.

My life is full of animals and a few human beings. There is good reason for this. Animals walk next to me and never drag me behind or run so far ahead that I’ll never catch up. Animals lick my tears instead of seeing how many they can inflict upon me. Animals love me unconditionally. Animals never say hurtful things to me. Animals don’t hate. If animals could talk, they would only speak love.

I have been seeing so much mean. I urge you to stop before you blow someone to shreds on social media, and ask yourself these things…1. Is it kind? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it true? Before you go clickety clicking away on your keyboard, the answer to all three of these questions must be “yes”. If it’s not, stop tying. Sit the fuck down and listen to your heart here. Do not speak if it does not pass through all three of these doors first. You may be right about everything you have to say. Here’s the thing though…your delivery fucking sucks! My delivery often sucks. I am not wrong and yet, my delivery of what is right cannot be heard at all. We must begin to remember that treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves, really is golden.

I get discriminated against a LOT. I get refused service a LOT. I get treated like shit on the bottom of someone’s shoes a LOT. I get discarded a LOT. Here is the good news though…not as much as I used to. AND, for everyone who has tossed me in the trash, someone else has found a treasure! You are like that too you know? You are a treasure. Know this though…so is the person that you just ripped apart to prove your point. You are not wrong my friend. Your delivery though…well your message has long been lost because of your delivery. I bring you today’s message from a one on one I had as a green assistant manager, early on in my career. “Coral, you are one hell of a manager. You walk the walk and talk the talk. Your expectations are high. Your message is spot on. Your delivery could use some fine tuning. Right message Coral. Wrong delivery.” This lesson never left me and I see that a few of you could benefit from it too, and so I pass it on this morning!

Be kind my friends and you will always be right. I love you. Have a beautiful day. Be kind to one another.

Not many words today…

Good evening everyone! I had a blessed day today and I am thankful. My private journey is difficult for me in some moments. Like a game of Tetris, the pieces coming together, complete the puzzle. The puzzle pieces inside the box do not match the picture on the outside of the box. The confusion becomes frustration. The pain is tangible. The questions endless and completely pointless anyway. Not being wrong does not make one right. It simply makes someone not wrong to not be wrong. Being right is an inside job. One can only ever hope to be right with themselves. Everyone else…well they are just everyone else. You are the only one who has to live with you, to wake up and sleep with you…to be next to you. Days like today…knowing this and feeling this are separate for me. My mind knows and my heart hears and cannot yet grasp, what the mind has already accepted as truth. The abstraction of this truth knows no words. I simply am and it simply is and so it is. For me though, when the struggle is the most real in my deepest depths, I have trouble finding words. Blogging with words becomes challenging. So this evening, I close and wish you a peaceful evening and wonderful and restful sleep. I love you!

If you can’t speak it with your lips, be careful sending what you type with your hands…

Happy Sunday everyone! Rise and shine! Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Today is the only day of your life that you can do a damn thing about, so let us begin with today, shall we? I shall! I invite you to join me!

When I was younger, we went to church on Sunday morning. Sunday school, church and youth group. Sunday was that day…a day to be with God…a day to be with friends…a day of worship and reflection. Being in church introduced me to a God that makes sense to me. God, as I understand him…is my absolute highest self. God is an acronym for good orderly direction, as Tamara reminds me. God is everything…all things…to me, God is not a he or a she, a you or and I…God is not outside of me. I am not outside of God. Often out of alignment, and yet never outside of God, as I understand her. The relationship with God, for me, began before I arrived here. The church reminded me of it. The church and it’s meaning for me have dissolved. God though, God is with me always. So, on this Sunday morning, in my own Sanctuary, nestled in the woods, I commune with God, as I understand him. I laugh with God as she holds me close and loves me through the depth of my despair. To believe in someone, something, greater than and outside of and more than yourself…to me, that is to believe in God, as you understand her. I speak of this today because I am reminded of how blessed I am, to have been introduced to God. Whatever God that you do or not believe in yourself, that is none of my business. That is between you and God; right? I have no expectation, no judgement, as that’s not mine. I am learning to take my hands off of what is not mine. Your faith, religion, spirituality…that is yours. Your sexuality, your politics…yours, not mine. We each have a right to our own opinions and ideas and beliefs. Wouldn’t you agree? If we each have the right to our own, then it also stands to reason, that we do not have the right to deprive others of their own, right? Do you know that social media does not change the fact that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions and ideas? Hiding behind your screen does not make it okay for you to walk all over other peoples thoughts and beliefs and ideas. Somehow, having to say something, in person, with your voice and not your finger, seems to really shut people the fuck up, doesn’t it? Having to pick up the phone and call, instead of texting, seems to make it a lot more confrontational. Do you know why it feels more confrontational? Because it fucking is more confrontational and you won’t fucking do it, and so you text instead. Chicken shit…just sayin. And what the fuck does chicken shit have to do with anything, really? What a ridiculous saying. I shall search for a new one, in place of chicken shit. For this moment though…I’m just saying that if you can only type what you’re saying, and you aren’t “saying” it, with your voice or in person, maybe you want to look at why that is? Maybe if you can’t “say” it and speak it with your voice, a good pause is in order. I speak from my own experience. It has become a practice for me. If I can’t say it…speak it…I don’t text it or type it in email either. Your words hurt. Your texts, void of emotion and body language and actual contact…they wage wars. Unnecessary and violent wars that can easily be avoided, simply by being the same person behind your little fingers and thumbs that you are behind your busy little lips. Make sense? I thought it to be a great lesson, and so thought I would pass it on! Have a beautiful Sunday! I love you!

State your needs and then insist that they be honored.

Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday! I am working through some pretty heavy stuff in my life right now. I often have no words for what I’m experiencing. I do my best to keep myself thankful and positive and moving forward. I struggle a lot with being lied to and deceived. For me, for now at least, I cannot coexist with deceit. I won’t. I don’t give a shit how bad you think your truth is…with me, your truth, whatever it may be, will always go further than a lie, in keeping me in your life. I don’t do deception. It really is that simple. Tell me the truth or keep your fucking mouth shut, or we cannot continue. I won’t compromise me if you won’t be authentic and real and true.

I don’t want gold. I sure as fuck won’t accept fools gold in its place. If it’s not real, I don’t want it. If it’s not love, loving, kind, compassionate and true…please keep it to yourself. Truly, this is not up for debate or discussion…this is me asking for what I need. I need real. I need true. I need love. I need loyalty. I need honesty. I need integrity. I need drama free. And so it is.

I hope you all have a beautiful day! I’m off to clients and I am thankful. Stating our needs is the first step in attaining our dreams. State your needs and insist that they be honored. That’s today’s practice for me. I love you!!!