Good morning everyone! Thank you for all of the love and support from my last post. Depression certainly has aged and fucked with this girl. I was shaving my head this morning and looked in the mirror…and I was like who in the fuck is this looking back at me? Who the fuck is that girl? Broken down and busted, mentally ill alcoholic, piece of worthless shit….and I realized that I was speaking out loud and Tamara was behind me in that mirror. Who was I talking to? I sure as hell wouldn’t talk to Tamara that way, so I clearly was talking to myself. And then I just went blank all over…if I talk to me this way…there is no way that I don’t talk to Tamara and others this way too. If I think of me this way, others must also. The reflection in that mirror…the puffy eyes and tear-stained face…the sad eyes and the lost and the empty…FUCK!!!!! Just fuck…not my best look for sure…not my most flattering side. And yet I must know, as we must all know, this is not all that I am….For all that I am not, there is much that I am. For all that you are not, there is much that you are. What a beautiful fucking disaster looking back at me! What a hot fucking mess of the most epic proportions!!! Broken down…fuck yes…broken completely, not today satan, not today. Alcoholic? Yes, my name is Coral and I am one grateful alcoholic this morning! I am here! One day….fuck, one minute at a time right now….thank You God for not giving up on me, even when I did. Thank you for this hit fucking mess looking back at me. As I rise, I will definitely need to spend more time and effort on hair and makeup!
Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you! For all that you are not, there is so, so much that you are! I fucking love you…have a beautiful and blessed day!