Happy Saturday morning everyone! I’m feeling the struggle out there this morning and so I send all of my love. This kind of hustle through struggle is not for the birds. Actually, it’s a proverbial fucking ass whooping, isn’t it? There has to be a better way and I’m off to find it. Living up here in my head isn’t it doing it. Living in my past hasn’t done it for me either. I am going to build my better way and I thank those who have been standing by waiting to start construction with me this morning!
I don’t know where I have been. It has been a very long and dark and scary, at times, Journey. I have isolated and retreated and I have lost the ability to be amongst my fellows. Many of you left and so I wish you all of my love and light for your journey. Many of you stayed and I am so fucking happy you are here! Truly, you have no idea how happy I am to see you today! The darkness was necessary and is still present, or I couldn’t see this light in its contrast. The pain has been necessary for the joy coming for us all!
This pain….this lonely…this struggle…it’s all an illusion anyway. We are all caught up in, and it isn’t even real, except that it’s SO fucking real sometimes, isn’t it? Just read my blog from beginning to present, and you will see how real it has been for me. I didn’t make all of this shit up. I just didn’t know that much of it existed and so my trauma threw me into some drama that I had to live out again, just so I can let it die once and for all. My life and how it works…I had no fucking idea….truly of who or where I was. I didn’t know. Knowing now almost killed me, for the real this time. I’m tired of and done with killing Coral…over and over and over again, just to reincarnate into a different Coral who just didn’t get it again, and again and again…only to have to retake the lessons, over and over and over again. I am done doing that and I’m ready for some new lessons. And so on this day, I make a different choice. On this day, I shall not dwell where I have been dwelling any longer. Longing looking back is the surest way to not move forward. There is nothing behind me that I am willing to let stand before me and who I am.
Anyway….that’s what I’ve got this morning. Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you!