Good morning everyone and happy Friday! Here we finally are…at my final post for Coralsblog.com
What a whirlwind, roller coaster ride we have all been on together so far! Thank you to each and everyone who comes to our healing room together. There is a healing room of epic promotions for all of us on the horizon and that is where we are headed! In the interim, we are preparing a space for you, so prepare yourselves for some epic greatness!
My deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to each of you who has been here with me through it all. My life is richer and my journey has been so blessed because you have been here journeying with me. Thank you.
Coralsblog.com is going to be exported, edited and archived for reference. It will be available again and more easy to reference and navigate when it returns. All of the writings will be cleaned up and edited a bit to make them easier to find. I will be working my ass off to propel us all up and out of our pain into the love that awaits us, so stay tuned.
Please keep an eye out for my new launch in April and send lots of love as I leap out into the great unknown! All of your love and prayers are appreciated as I turn the tide.
I will keep you all apprised via Facebook, email and Instagram of my progress and my journey. All I can say now is hold on, cause it’s going to be an epic ride! Thanks for loving me on through to the other side. I love you all right back and I’m taking you with me, if you want to come! Please stay close and stay tuned.
As I turn to shut the lights off for the last time in this healing room, I am grateful. My heart is full. My coffee cup is empty and my mind is already off somewhere else, preparing a new healing space for us to meet in. I won’t look back, for I have been living in my own wake for my entire life. I have been behind me in my pain, unable to gain the I confidence and wisdom I have needed to propel myself forward. I rise up! I bail myself out and I’m taking you with me!!!
To each and every one of you who held me, held space for me, loves me in spite of me, like a verb and always, thank you. You each have a place in my heart and many of you are why I’m still here at all.
To my very first reader, Rob, I love you so much brother! And to my every single day, loud and proud readers, Janet and Valerie and Lisa…thank you all so much. To all of my followers and friends who trudged the trenches with me to dig this all up, thank you for never leaving my side. To my family of origin, thanks for letting me go so that I didn’t have to leave you guys. Thank you for bringing me in and for doing your best and most of all, thank you for releasing me to find the love and life I deserve. For every broken rib and busted tooth and fuck that I didn’t consent to…for every horrible and abusive thing I heard and learned, I am so thankful, for it has taught me who I have also been and who I will never be again. I, the abused have also been the abuser and I am so fucking thankful to know both of these things so that I may come clean for real this time. I too have thrown blows and words around like I had the right to do so. I too have been the abuser in my own life. I was born into an abuse cycle that I have done nothing except for perpetuate on both sides, as both The victim and the abuser. I once completely shattered someone’s face whom I loved very much, simply for not loving me back. I have thrown vile words around like candy and never once understood the abuse in that. My ignorance of my abuse cycles did not un-abuse the people who fell into it with me and for that and for everyone I harmed, I am so deeply sorry. The rage in me and the ability I have to level you with one blow…well that came with my abuse cycle and as much as I bring her down, she is in there and I know she will always be in there. My rage is the only reason I am still here with you. I am just learning to steer her on a beautiful path instead of allowing her to dig my own grave for me.
To anyone I ever dated with children or animals, including Tamara and all of Santuario, thank you for loving me back to loving animals again. I was forced to harm and torture and kill animals in my childhood and so this gift, this trust, this opportunity you’ve given me to heal here, well it means more than everything and anything to me, so thank each of you for loving me in spite of me and for working with me to know how to love animals right. I know I was a horrible step parent and although I didn’t know it then, I can’t not see that now. To each child I harmed in any way, if only ever by just being intoxicated and full of bad words and inappropriate words and conduct, I am so very sorry. To Tamara, both my abuser and the woman I have abused in my own pain and dysfunction, I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for hearing me and for your apology. Thank you for loving me and for accepting my apology. Hurt people hurt people. We must know that we are the only ones who can break this cycle. To everyone who hurt me, I truly do love you just the same, which is why I set you down completely now and walk away from a hell that knew no bounds. I won’t take Babylon with me to Zion, and yet I know I live in both worlds. I’m off to enjoy Zion for a bit! I invite you to join me in my bliss! From pissed to bliss…just like this!
To every author, songwriter , friend and master that I use words and lyrics from, thank you! Trevor Hall and Nahko…SOJA…you guys saved me when nothing else could touch me at all. Thank you!
To Eileen…andthe mala that started it all…thank you sister. Thank you! I encourage everyone to check out my girl over at “The Stoned Healer”. Eileen’s passion and dedication to her craft lifted me from my own hellfire! Thank you sister! I love you!
Jump on board you guys! We are just getting started! I will see you on the flip side! Have a beautiful Friday and I’ll see you again real soon! All of my love and thanks, for all that each of you are to me! I LOVE YOU!!!