Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

I got a request to stay. Request granted. Thank you.

Good morning everyone ❤️ Thank you for being here with me this morning. I just shut down my Facebook page and will be turning my phone off very soon. I just need some time and space to heal and to lay low for a bit. I am in a safe place and I am loved. I am physically emaciated and in desperate need of some self care, which I will be putting much work into.

I will be back after my sabbatical. I got a request from a reader yesterday asking me to stay. Request granted. And thank you for the messages about what this healing room means to you. Those messages and particularly the last one, are why I have decided to keep coralsblog.com active. So, thank you.

And to Propeller and Love Serve Remember and to my baba…thank you for this amazing opportunity to heal in Maui and to meet my baba…I’m coming Ram Dass and Krishna…and all of your friends…I can’t wait to be with you in healing and loving space in December in Maui. Thank you again for choosing me!!!

We have a lot to offer each other in here and I think I lost sight of that for a bit in my own struggle. I thought you guys would be better off if I just scrapped all of this pain and disappeared somewhere. I appreciate you letting me know you need me and that this place matters. That’s enough for me to to stay for sure. So, I will remain here in this healing room and on Instagram at littlebittyprajna if you wish to find me. Otherwise, I’m getting low to grow. I’m taking time and space for me because that is what I need to do to get better and to join all of you again.

With that being said, I’m currently without internet and turning my phone off today, so find me here or on Instagram and I’ll hit you up when I am able to again.

I love you guys so much and you’ve done more for me than you know just by being here with me. Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I will see you soon and please know that I love you deeply until then.

Prajna and I are going to just be together and heal ❤️ All of our love and gratitude for each of you. Thank you Amber for saving coralsblog.com for all of us. All of my love and gratitude for your beautiful message sister. This blog is for you!

Peace, love and light until we meet again ❤️

A farewell from Coral for now…

Good morning everyone. It is with a very sad and heavy heart that I write this morning. I am aware that you have noticed my absence and so I want to let you all know that I am alive. I have had one of the more painful and difficult weeks of entire my life since last Tuesday. I don’t have much to say about it, other than I completely fell apart and ended up sobbing and inconsolable on my knees in our driveway. Tamara and I have worked so hard and struggled for so long and the overwhelm and the distance between she and I…the constant needs of everyone…it just split me right in two in that driveway last Tuesday. I broke and I am in the throws of that now. I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t have any words to talk about it. Tamara will always be sacred and special and “my girl” deep in my heart and because of that, I had to go and let her be her again. I had to leave so that she can be who she is and do what she loves without my constant need for her to want me and love me and want me the way I have always wanted her. My mom passing blew me so far out of my reality and unfortunately, we could not overcome all of the pain that came with my mom dying, my abusive past and my inability to heal from it. I am flawed and although I did my very best, I fell horribly short of who I hoped I could be. I didn’t learn love and so I wasn’t able to be love in a way that sustained love. I am learning what love is and what it is not and I’m going to need some time alone to do that. Tamara and I love one another very much and that is why we are taking this time to work independently on ourselves. The animals need Tamara on her game and winter is upon us, so I’m asking you guys to surround Tamara and Santuario de Karuna with all of your love and financial assistance and your time and skill sets. I am going to be okay. I was blessed to be caught in mid-fall by the Dyer family, some dear and amazing friends and Prajna. Prajna is with me and everyone else remains at Santuario with Tamara. Tamara has everyone else and they all have Tamara and so I ask you to be available for them should they need you.

We all choose sides. Especially in times like this…we all choose, whether we can admit it or not. I know you will all have to choose and I offer you my blessing to do so. Do what you need to do and be where you need to be. I’ve no judgement or hard feelings. I’m just broken and need to heal. I dropped below 90 pounds and I am completely emaciated. I cry a lot and lose my way a lot. I overdrew my bank accounts to zero and used up all of my shitty credit, and so I begin again, from the bottom. Thank you to everyone helping me…for the underwear and toilet paper, the laundry basket and soap…to begin again…as I truly have nothing left to my name. I left it all right where I put it…with the animals of Santuario and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So please don’t worry for me. I’ve a safe and warm and dry place to live with indoor plumbing. I’ve a family who loves me and who took me in when I had no one or nowhere to go. My family of origin has not been in contact with me since before I won Maui and they know nothing of my current situation or of my winning. If they do, not one of them has reached out to celebrate with me. Not one of them knows that I escaped homelessness by a few hours or death by several knocks at my door over these last few years. No, Tamara had to deal with all of my pain and all of the rejection and all of the infliction upon infliction of pain that my family served me. And truth be told, it was just too fucking much for us. It was too hard and too painful and too constant. I lost my mom and right behind her, I lost the rest of my family one by one, and good riddance…but fuck did it destroy this girl. Losing the only people I ever knew and whom I loved so much has tortured my very soul and haunts me horribly. I believe it also began the loss of Tamara and everyone else I loved, for I realized how disposable I really was, without Sherry here to make people be nice to me.

And so, I stand here before all of you and I tell you that I broke. I lost it. I fell completely apart in our driveway last week. My world left me. My everything that meant anything at all, gone from me. The animals I helped bring home bid me farewell and the girl I loved more than my own life came home to a house without me in it anymore. We had gotten to a place of such toxicity and abusive patterning that if one of us didn’t go, we would surely destroy both of us and everyone we love before we got the help we needed to love each other right. In all of that pain, I loved us all enough to leave before we destroyed each other. And that is what happened, as best as I can recount it, with personal details remaining personal and Tamara remaining sacred to me. I wanted you guys to know because you have loved me so well and so much. I wanted to tell you myself that I just couldn’t anymore. I wanted to ask you to choose Tamara and the animals because they need you guys and you have my blessing to go love them the most. I will be deactivating my FB account, I am leaving my Instagram up…eventually getting a new phone…living at a new address…learning how to love and be a contributing family member in the Dyer family…and falling apart to hopefully come back together stronger and well and whole. I will re-evaluate my life and my situation when I return from Maui in December. I will be going to Maui alone, as I must heal and meet my baba. Tamara and I, unfortunately were not able to be in a healthy enough place together, soon enough to make this trip together and so I made the decision to go alone. This decision alone almost took this girl out, as I cannot imagine my life without Tamara and Maui was out hope to heal all of this and come away from it stronger and okay again.

Tamara, I love you, so so much. Like a verb, I love you, enough to go so that we can be well and get that we each need to be whole again. The animals could not be in better care and I know the tension will ease without me there. I know they need you and you need them and I just need to find me and get some weight back on these bones again and get my mind right and my heart mended from all of this pain. Please take good care of you and rely on your community to carry you guys through. I take my hands off of all of it and leave you guys to your healing. I love you baby girl. I love you so much Tamara. Now go out there and get well, okay? That’s what I’m going to do, or die trying…

Please everyone, pray for us and for all of these beautiful sentient beings who call Santuario de Karuna home. Please lift us up to exhault our own pinnacles and love us back to life. Most of all, please surround Tamara at this time and take good care of her. Her partner…co-founder and best friend cracked and had to go away and she could use your love right now. And there is nothing you could do for me that would men more to me than to love the hell out of that beautiful woman that I so desperately wanted to call my wife.

To each of you, please contact me privately if you wish to remain in contact, as I will not reach beyond where I’ve reached so far, as I am aware of the community I am In And who brought me in and I leave you as I found you. I intend no harm. I mean no harm. I broke and I just wanted you guys to know, after all you’ve all done for me, that I did this. I left. I am the one who could not see this through. I apologize for being less than I’d hoped to be and I hope each of you can love me just the same and forgive me for having to go.

For now, for me, for us…for all of the animals and for our individual healing and wellness, I bid you all farewell for now and offer you all of my love. Be well. Be safe. Be happy. Be you. I love you and I thank you for loving me and for sharing the journey with me. I will be back after Maui…healed and healthy and ready to begin again. For now though, this girl is down for the count and barely hanging on, so if you’ve anything at all for me, please be kind or just don’t right now. Thank you in advance for not making this harder or more painful than it already is. All Sanctuary matters will be handled by Tamara henceforth, so please reach out to her today and see how you can help and be of service to the most amazing Animal Sanctuary in the world, with the best residents and the most heart…go out there and love Tamara and Santuario with all of your heart for me, if you don’t mind…I really would appreciate it. Farewell for now and all of my love and gratitude for the way you guys love me. Thank you.

Corals final blog…From Babylon to Zion….

Good morning everyone and happy Friday! Here we finally are…at my final post for Coralsblog.com

What a whirlwind, roller coaster ride we have all been on together so far! Thank you to each and everyone who comes to our healing room together. There is a healing room of epic promotions for all of us on the horizon and that is where we are headed! In the interim, we are preparing a space for you, so prepare yourselves for some epic greatness!

My deepest and most heartfelt gratitude to each of you who has been here with me through it all. My life is richer and my journey has been so blessed because you have been here journeying with me. Thank you.

Coralsblog.com is going to be exported, edited and archived for reference. It will be available again and more easy to reference and navigate when it returns. All of the writings will be cleaned up and edited a bit to make them easier to find. I will be working my ass off to propel us all up and out of our pain into the love that awaits us, so stay tuned.

Please keep an eye out for my new launch in April and send lots of love as I leap out into the great unknown! All of your love and prayers are appreciated as I turn the tide.

I will keep you all apprised via Facebook, email and Instagram of my progress and my journey. All I can say now is hold on, cause it’s going to be an epic ride! Thanks for loving me on through to the other side. I love you all right back and I’m taking you with me, if you want to come! Please stay close and stay tuned.

As I turn to shut the lights off for the last time in this healing room, I am grateful. My heart is full. My coffee cup is empty and my mind is already off somewhere else, preparing a new healing space for us to meet in. I won’t look back, for I have been living in my own wake for my entire life. I have been behind me in my pain, unable to gain the I confidence and wisdom I have needed to propel myself forward. I rise up! I bail myself out and I’m taking you with me!!!

To each and every one of you who held me, held space for me, loves me in spite of me, like a verb and always, thank you. You each have a place in my heart and many of you are why I’m still here at all.

To my very first reader, Rob, I love you so much brother! And to my every single day, loud and proud readers, Janet and Valerie and Lisa…thank you all so much. To all of my followers and friends who trudged the trenches with me to dig this all up, thank you for never leaving my side. To my family of origin, thanks for letting me go so that I didn’t have to leave you guys. Thank you for bringing me in and for doing your best and most of all, thank you for releasing me to find the love and life I deserve. For every broken rib and busted tooth and fuck that I didn’t consent to…for every horrible and abusive thing I heard and learned, I am so thankful, for it has taught me who I have also been and who I will never be again. I, the abused have also been the abuser and I am so fucking thankful to know both of these things so that I may come clean for real this time. I too have thrown blows and words around like I had the right to do so. I too have been the abuser in my own life. I was born into an abuse cycle that I have done nothing except for perpetuate on both sides, as both The victim and the abuser. I once completely shattered someone’s face whom I loved very much, simply for not loving me back. I have thrown vile words around like candy and never once understood the abuse in that. My ignorance of my abuse cycles did not un-abuse the people who fell into it with me and for that and for everyone I harmed, I am so deeply sorry. The rage in me and the ability I have to level you with one blow…well that came with my abuse cycle and as much as I bring her down, she is in there and I know she will always be in there. My rage is the only reason I am still here with you. I am just learning to steer her on a beautiful path instead of allowing her to dig my own grave for me.

To anyone I ever dated with children or animals, including Tamara and all of Santuario, thank you for loving me back to loving animals again. I was forced to harm and torture and kill animals in my childhood and so this gift, this trust, this opportunity you’ve given me to heal here, well it means more than everything and anything to me, so thank each of you for loving me in spite of me and for working with me to know how to love animals right. I know I was a horrible step parent and although I didn’t know it then, I can’t not see that now. To each child I harmed in any way, if only ever by just being intoxicated and full of bad words and inappropriate words and conduct, I am so very sorry. To Tamara, both my abuser and the woman I have abused in my own pain and dysfunction, I love you. I love you so much. Thank you for hearing me and for your apology. Thank you for loving me and for accepting my apology. Hurt people hurt people. We must know that we are the only ones who can break this cycle. To everyone who hurt me, I truly do love you just the same, which is why I set you down completely now and walk away from a hell that knew no bounds. I won’t take Babylon with me to Zion, and yet I know I live in both worlds. I’m off to enjoy Zion for a bit! I invite you to join me in my bliss! From pissed to bliss…just like this!

To every author, songwriter , friend and master that I use words and lyrics from, thank you! Trevor Hall and Nahko…SOJA…you guys saved me when nothing else could touch me at all. Thank you!

To Eileen…andthe mala that started it all…thank you sister. Thank you! I encourage everyone to check out my girl over at “The Stoned Healer”. Eileen’s passion and dedication to her craft lifted me from my own hellfire! Thank you sister! I love you!

Jump on board you guys! We are just getting started! I will see you on the flip side! Have a beautiful Friday and I’ll see you again real soon! All of my love and thanks, for all that each of you are to me! I LOVE YOU!!!

Thank you for your love. I’m taking it with me on blog sabbatical ❤️

Good afternoon everyone! Today is bittersweet for me in many ways. I am moving in a new direction and will be taking some time away from this blog to do that. I ask for your love and support as I venture out to discover and learn new terrain. Please stand by and hold loving energy and space for me. Please hold me in love and prayer as I embark on a new and very exciting journey!

Thank you for your beautiful love and prayers for Cheii Dennis Hardy Sr. Last update, Cheii is still missing. Please continue to lift he and his family up and Lord, offer him protection. I will not have further updates on Cheii on this page after today.

This will be my last blog post for a while, as I am taking a sabbatical of sorts from writing and social media. I am embarking on something new and exciting! I cannot wait to tell you all about it as it develops! I will post details about a launch on April 12, 2020 a bit later on.

For now though, all of my love and an overflowing bowl of gratitude for all of your love and support. Thank you for being here in the healing room with me. I look forward to meeting you again soon, a bit further down the road.

I love you and I Thank you for all of your love!

My blog will be silent until Dennis Hardy returns home

Please keep Dennis Hardy and his family in your prayers and lift them up, as they continue their search to bring their Cheii home.

My blog will be silent until he returns home. I love each of you and thank you for lifting Dennis and his family up at this time. With all you’ve got, please give all you’ve got to bring Cheii home today.