Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

We are here to love each other home.

I am here to love you and to help you, however I am able. Thank you for being here. I love you!

Calling up love for the Dyer family and Happy Birthday Regina!!!!!

I have been blessed beyond measure. Truly, I have been. My hard days are less difficult and my good days are getting better and better. I’m coming back into myself a bit and I feel so blessed to have been journeying with Robin and her family for the past couple of weeks. Life is precious and death reminds me of that. Memories make and sustain us. Everything else…well, that’s just everything else. When we leave here, we cannot take any of it with us. So thankful for the reminder of that and so honored and blessed to be a part of the Dyer family. Please lift them up and hold them in prayer and in your hearts, as they navigate their world without Robbi. The days after are difficult and I encourage you to reach for them and love them and lift them up. When I lost my mom, the days after were almost surreal. Let us all take a moment to love them up and to remind them that we are here for them. They need us now. If everyone would say it with me…”We love you Dyer family! We are here if you need us!”…I would really appreciate it. We need people the most when we can call upon them the least. Please surround this family in love and light at this time, as they learn to live differently, to heal and to say goodbye for now.

Today is the Birthday of one of the dearest and most angelic and beautiful souls that I have ever known. Today is my cousin Reginas Birthday. Please wish her a beautiful day and the happiest of Birthdays this morning, will you? My rock and my calm in life’s storms. The beauty in my ugly and the truth amongst the lies. A very piece of my own soul and an angel in a human body…my cousin. Happy Birthday Regina! Have a beautiful day my love! I will be celebrating you ALL day long!!!!

Thank you Robin, for sharing your journey and your family with me. I love you sister. Rest in sweet peace.

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday! Thank you for all of the love and prayers and for blasting our songs and lifting us up! Thank you for hosting my beautiful sister Robin Dyer in our healing room! Robin passed away on Saturday, April 6th 2019 at 12:22:59pm. Robin was surrounded by the people whom she loved the most, when she peacefully left this world in our loving arms.

All of my love and condolences to Tam, Tiffany, Dennis Dyer and all of Robins family and friends. I got the privilege of meeting Robin in her last ten days on this earth. Robin was at UNM-H, non-verbal and moments away from coding when I first laid eyes on her. For ten days, Robin and I journeyed together, like I have never journeyed with another.

For the blessed privilege to walk this sacred journey, upon such delicate and hallowed ground, I am forever grateful, thankful and blessed. To the Dyer family, thank you for allowing me the privilege of being so close and intimate with you and Robbi in her final days and hours. We have made some pretty amazing and crazy memories of our own, haven’t we?

I am still coming back into myself a bit and so I close this morning’s blog in loving memory and infinite thanks to my sister Robin Dyer this morning. Thank you sister for the beautiful and amazing journey that you shared so intimately with me. What a blessed privilege it has been, and continues to be, to journey with you and your beautiful family. Thank you sister, rest in sweet peace before your next excursion, okay? I love you Robin. Thank you. Love, Coral

Rest easy sister. I love you. Happy Birthday mom. Thank you.

My blog, my Facebook page and my phone will be silent for the remainder of the day, as we honor and celebrate the life of Robin Dyer and to sit in gratitude for my own mom helping me to help Robin and her family, on what would have been her 70th earthly birthday today.

Tomorrow, I will deliberately miss my blog entry, missing my first ever since I began blogging. I go completely silent right now, through the entire day tomorrow, in loving memory and honor of my dear sister Robin, who entrusted me with the final steps of her earthly journey. Robin is at peace and all soul contracts with her have been fulfilled, on both sides.

Rest easy sweet sister and please give my mom a hug from me. Thank you Aiden, Teddy, Duncan, all of the animals at Santuario de Karuna, and to each of you who helped and held space for our sister as she made her final journey today, from the bottom of my heart and from the hearts of her family, thank you.

I am steering this ship now, at my sisters request. Please jump on board and help us get her home.

I have an urgent prayer request for my sister Robin Dyer. Robin is journeying home and she is stuck. Our communication is diminished and I am going back in, for Robin, as Robin, to help her cross over.

Aiden is working diligently and has called in the big guns. Aiden called in Sherry. Today would have been my moms birthday and today, I call her up to carry our sister home. My communication with my mom is also diminished and so please send me all of your love to orchestrate a peaceful passing for our beautiful sister.

Sherry, please come down and meet me, that I may hand my sister over to you, that you may carry her rest of the way home. Our sister is weary and her body is broken. Between dementia and the fall that caused a head injury and her non-verbal nature, we need a fucking miracle here. We need an angel! I’m calling the angels down to pull her up and the angels on the ground to lift her up. We are the angels on the ground and I am asking you to lift Robin up with me, to the angels in the higher realms to bring her home.

Robin cannot sort this out with her brain injury. Robin is stubborn as hell and this is not that. This is her inability to get go because of the damage to her brain. The damage crossed hemispheres and our sister is stuck. Sisters family is exhausted and ready for her release. We need to all gather round and send our girl home today.

April 6th is my moms birthday and shall be the last day of Robins life here on earth. We must all come together and pray in our own ways for her release today. Our sisters body is worn out and her spirit is fading from us. Robin simply needs a little help and so I am asking each of you to step up and help us here. If you pray, pray. Do whatever you do to grant her release for departure.

On behalf of Robins family and with all of our love and gratitude, I am asking you to walk our sister Robin home with me today. However you do it, please get with us now and love our sister home.

Robin, sister, it is time. It is finished. Now is the time for you to rise up to the angels. I lift you up to the heavens and place you in my own mothers hands, that she take you to your destination on this day sister, April 6th, 2019. I pull your dementia and your brain injury that you may be able to return to your departure plan for yourself. We stand silently by in wait, in celebration and in love as you sort yourself out without these ailments. Sister, I command you to let go. I say this to you in earnest, in truth and with all of my love, now is the time and today is the day. I pull your need to control this because of the damage to your melon and I place it in my own hands. I lift you up now sister and I take over your decision in this matter. We are going home today sister. We are going home today. And so it is.

Happy Birthday to my own Mom, in heaven. Thank you for coming for Robin today mom. Blessed be her journey as she joins the angels herself.

A very heartfelt thank you for all of your love and assistance on this day, from myself and the Dyer family and from my sister Robin, who has finally submitted and asked for a ride home.

Robin Dyer is still in the building

Final words…maybe there are no final words. Nothing is final, after all. All but an illusion. All just below the surface. Last breath. Only the last breath before the next one. In another time and place possibly and always right here. We are vast. We are infinite. We are one. Death will show you that in a fraction of a moment. Nothing separates us, except maybe, and disputable at best, possibly time, although who knows? Who cares. I’m death, all that we care about it gone in a flash. All that we relied upon and knew…all ripped from us. Some slowly and some quickly. You don’t die in pain. You don’t die in unforgiving space. You just don’t.

We journey don’t we? Like we have any idea what we are doing or where the fuck we are going…we journey. Even in the conquering of death on deaths terms. Fuck death on deaths terms! I shall do it my way. Die in seven days…Ha! Renal failure without dialysis…a joke. I am an anomaly. I am a miracle. I am on deaths door and I am not knocking, for she has come for me. Imagine that…her, death, coming for me. She can wait! They can all wait. The priests be gone. My angels send them away for me. What a farce. Bringing God at death, to abate fear. Where was God before? What were the priests doing before? Before they were in the rooms of the dying, offering unsolicited counsel…where were those fucking priests before? Don’t ask me about the priests. Don’t send the priest to me now. I’ve my angels standing by and we are good to go.

Final thoughts. Mine just keep on flowing. My heart though…tired little bastard. My heart has seen better days indeed.

You’ve not heard the last of me. My beautiful family surrounds me and I am at peace. I battled it out today with my own demons. I had words that were unflattering and I meant them. I am not a doormat. I stand in gratitude for the reminder to forgive and to let go and to leave my anger. Anger I swore I didn’t have. It hit me in my ass today. It kept me here and I am thankful. For the resolve, I am thankful.

I just needed to say to you that I am still here. You knew that though. If you knew me at all, you know I will go only when I am done. I will be done when I am done.

Robbi has some final words before she blows this pop stand!

Good morning everyone! Thank you for all of the love and prayers for Teddy and Duncan and Robin. Robin has written more than I have lately and I am both honored and blessed to be a part of her journey and her transition from this life. Right now, as she did so many times in her life, Robin is defying the odds. Energy levels are waning and so I help my sister to write this morning. I believe we are at our end and this shall possibly be my sisters last writing while she is still in her body. My sister goes by Robbi and yet since I met her, she has been Robin to me. I turn my blog over to Robbi this morning…

I ask that you send all of your love to Robins family at this time, as Robin prepares to leave here. Please wrap your arms around each of them and hold them close. Please comfort them and lift them up in prayer. Hold them in your heart. Keep them close to you today, as their angel adjusts her wings. Out time together is coming to a close and I ask you to give this family with all you’ve got. Robin will be going home very, very soon. Sister, may I say that you are looking most lovely this morning!

We wait our whole lives for things. We wait to be born. We wait to die too. All of the statistics about how long it will take and what it will look like…how it will feel…it’s not that way at all for me. Death isn’t a door as much as a letting go. Until you are ready to fully let go, you just don’t die. You wait. There is lots of waiting in life. There is lots of waiting in death too.

My angel types vigorously, trying to get my words to you. She will not know when I have gone, because we are traveling so intimately now. My words will continue after I’ve gone. I lie in wait. To you, I may look uncomfortable or uneasy. Dying is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. It’s the only thing that I’ll not be able to talk myself about of doing. Dying just is. My body and the energy it has acquired throughout my lifetime, are taking some time to readjust, to leave and to redistribute itself.

My body has always been problematic for me. Non-cooperative to my own dreams at times, I’ve had to overhaul her and modify her to fit my dharma, more than a time or two. Musics rhythm finds me and uptakes my processing to help me to take what I need and to leave the rest. I won’t be taking anything with me this time and so I’m learning to shed it all. The breath, the heartbeat, the broken body. It doesn’t all just fall away. There is a process to dying and shedding those years and experiences. To you, I’m just lying here dying. For me though, it not like that at all. I am here with you and I am gone from you, all at the same time.

Your music keeps me calm as I wander these halls inside, heading toward the light to find my exit out. Your love keeps me warm and safe. Your presence companies me while I ready myself for some time alone. This alone is different. This alone is solid. It’s just me going here for a bit, to be with me, alone.

A sorting process happens here. Sorting of what we had set out to do and what we actually did. Sorting of thoughts and emotions. Like a card catalog form the old days, every single card, book, author and all evidence of the Dewey decimal system pile in with me, to keep records of my time here. My numbers fly around me sinking themselves into place. All of my numbers, ever, fit perfectly somewhere. Who knew?

There are no coincidences and nothing happens by accident. We never meet strangers and we only have so much time. We get infinite second chances and we get a million do overs. We fuck up like a career choice and we still get hired. We fall and we keep on keeping on. Our body fails and other bodies come in to mend us. Words hurt us and life teaches us that it’s never the words that really hurt us. There are lines of people who we thought didn’t love us, lining up to tell us how much they really did love us. There is a sadness in that, as I am dying. I am out! This is done. Your love would have meant the world to me when I could have actually received it. Believe me, I really could have used your love. Now though…now you need my love, and you have it. You have always had my love. You are here to be loved before I die and can’t love you how you need me to right now. Death does not stop love. Life stops love. People living stop the love flow with all of their fears and rhetoric and unknowing. Death will never stop the glow of love and I love you just the same. Lining up outside my shell now to say goodbye, I see you. You want to get in close, one last time. I want you to get in close one last time. Being close to you has been a highlight of this lifetime. You are going to have to feel my love now because I cannot do more than lie here and let you come for it.

The complications and the decisions…the bills and the work days…the meetings and the travel and the abstaining from travel in illness…the doctors and the life prolonging measures…it’s all taking a quick minute to shut itself down.

A week with no food and I know my body is past its limit. Even for me, this has been one hell of a run. I’ve run more in this broken body than some Olympic swimmers have ever even swam. I have conquered mountains that make Mt. Everest look small in stature. I came here to have two beautiful babies. I know that was my greatest gift. My girls…and as I Trail off…my girls are my gift to this world, sitting here with me, keeping me safe and comfortable. I am going to miss my girls.

In life many people cannot talk about death. In death, there is no way around it. Death completes our life contract and I am nearing the end of mine. Fulfilled and signed, ready to hand in and be filed, I am simply standing in line, waiting with the others, for my next assignment. I am excited to go forth. I stayed longer to be sure I had all of my communication in place, to stay with those whom will keep me with them. Everything looks good and I begin my ascension. Fumbling with my angel to get my wings just right…I am preparing for my launch. My angel steadies me and says we can practice before I take the final leap. I love my angel and I’m so glad she came for me. She loves the word fuck as much as I do and we are one hell of a team! I needed the perfect angel to fly me home. Aiden is with us and he is walking me to Teddy and Duncan, on the other side of the rainbow bridge. All systems are a go. We are ready to launch. Take off is eminent. My time is coming and I am ready. I can’t look back now. Now it’s all upward and onward for me. It is finished. I am finished. Life has been good to me and I am off to my next adventure. Fear and worry not, for I am right where I belong. You are right where you belong. Our contracts have completed and we fly into the great unknown. Together always, for I am simply gone from your sight.

Written by Robin Dyer: I am a writer and writers always write.

My angel is eating and we must write. I am starving and yet I do not feel it. I am waiting it all out you know. All of whatever it is that says it will be one way or the other. It will be my way. Not because it must or must not be so…simply because it is so. It has always been so. Except for when it wasn’t so, and then it was going to someday be so. Anyway, I think it may be something I’ve not said. My angel said she will type all night if need be, for she wants me to put those wings on and try them out. This is her first pair of human wings and she wants them to fit me perfectly. Don’t tell her but I tried them out today while we were driving. It was a little shaky at first, but we fucking nailed it. This curb and that curb…we flew today. My angel and I crash landed into a donut shop (I shit you not!) with such precision that we must have flown past the speed trap that the officers had set up in the parking lot. My angel would not go offer them a donut. I howled as she considered it!! Had I my own voice, I would have offered them a donut. Just sayin…I don’t. If I did though…

This dying thing is really just a VERY FUCKING LONG PAUSE between living again. And long is subjective. For me, it’s not long. It really just is.

Dennis will tell you it’s long. His fucking fingers are falling off. He will play them right off the bone if he must, to sing and strum me home. Dennis keeps his word to be by me and I keep my word to wait for him, to leave. A gentleman. A beautiful, beautiful man and a man of his word…

Tiffany and Tam…I am reminiscing through their younger days. I am laughing with them. They are laughing at me though. I’m sure of it. And I hate to be a bitch, although I must …that damn movie, and those damn 🐢 turtles…girls, what is really going on? Do you want me to wait until my birthday, to watch it again? I do love you girls loving the turtles so much that you were sure I would love them so much too. I don’t. I do not love the turtles. I’m sorry. I just don’t and now I said it. Maybe that it what holds me here? Words unspoken…those damn ninja turtles…little bastards. Thank you though, for knowing this already. I just wanted to concur.

I write. Still, even here and now, I write. I am a writer. Writers always write. Behind their eyelids and underneath the shroud of death, writers write. I am a writer and my name is Robin Dyer. My writing will live on after I leave this earthly body. I’ve got it like that because I am a writer and writers always write.

Robin Dyer writes for her family this morning…

Dementia was the culprit that began to unravel me. Thoughts and ideas fell out of place and order when that diagnosis came. Frustrations ran high and doubt crept in. How could I do me? How was I to finish my work without my mind? Dementia was the beginning of my end here. Dementia took everything from me that sustained my work here. When my angel took my dementia, I began my journey home. When I could remember how to begin to let go of this life, I knew dementia had lost her grip on me.

The kidneys…the renal failure. You would think it was the biggest factor. Actually, without the extra energy needed to fuel my bowel and my kidneys, my body slowly shutting down, I am able to get to this business of dying. I won’t die when or how they say I will. I will die when all of my puzzles have resolved themselves. I will go when I know for certain that you are okay. I’m in no hurry to leave. I’m in no hurry to stay. Lying here dying, I am so aware of how I lived. Lying here in a body that literally cannot move or help itself, I am resolving my life before I go from here. The frown and the wrinkled brow…all me working things out in here, before I blow this pop stand once and for all. The tears are subtle releases of the pieces of me that no longer serve. There is no pain. There is no way out. There is only this now. People will tell you how to die, just like they told you how to live. Both feelings are equally as intriguing. All of my best laid plans for how I lived my life, are the very tools I am using now, to let this life leave me. This breath and these shallow heartbeats will only sustain me for so long. My body is wrecked and I will not walk out of this. My legs are my wings now. My angel has not placed them on my back just yet, my wings are perfect and ready…lying in wait for my launch from this broken body. I’m dying, and I am at peace. Dying here is the only way to be born again to my purpose beyond.

I was sent here to bring two girls. I was asked to study the stars and the planets and their stories and to share as much as I could of my knowledge. I have done this. My knowledge fountain runs dry here and so I quest for new knowledge and flowing fountains ahead of me.

I lie in wait for my own release. Until then though, I savor this time with you.

Tam, I watch you, so composed and compiled and diligent. Tiffany, so welcoming and wonderful to bring me home to die. I love your home my girl. You did nice for yourself. It’s you, you know, this place. The light…the space, the openness…I love your house and I am so proud of you. Tamarack, so strong and brute with force to hold us all together. You don’t have to my sweet. You don’t have to hold us together. We aren’t falling apart. I am just traveling to all of the places I told you I would go. Picture postcards will bombard your heart of my new travails. I am watching you. You inspire me. I watch you prepare the space within yourself for the gifts I will return with. You doubt not my return. I doubt not yours either my sweet.

Dennis, oh sweet, sweet Dennis. Strumming me home softly. Sleeping by my side. Holding my hand. Loving me home. You beautiful man. You beautiful, beautiful man. Our life contracts have tested us and tainted us…wrecked us and built us…and in the end, you sign your contract with my life…the promise that you will not leave my side, that I will not die alone. Dennis, when you’re dying, you just have no idea how much it means to know you will not die alone. Thank you for putting that peace in my mind as I leave here without you guys.

My family. My little family. The one I knew and willed to be here, more than I willed my own self to stay. My body did not support this dream and so I rebuilt my body. My body was ill equipped and so I tore it down and built my own. This body, the only body that could, bring my girls here, to do their work. I built this body to fulfill my own dharma.

And I know you are all laying in wait, for my breath to cease and for my peace to come. I know you cannot know how I am still here. I am still here because I am Robin. I make and play by my own rules and death cannot change that. Death does not get to write my rules. Death does not get to alter the way of things. The way of things and the way they play out…that is still up to me. I will drop to three beats a minute and 6 breaths and my body will keep going. I will go when it’s all gone. I will stay until then. I did not spend 67 years feeling this all out to jump out of my body at first chance. You do know me better, don’t you? I play by My rules and I shall die by them too. It is my dharma to ride this all the way out.

Do not worry or fear or cry too hard. I won’t be too far away. I will still blow my breath on your neck and rain gently on your cheeks. I will shine down on you and lie with you…I will hold you and carry you always. I hear you. I will never not see you, even with my eyes closed.

I rest now, for my journey is eminent. The rainbow bridge is all lit up and everyone is gathering round. Aiden has my hand in his paw and he is taking me as far as Teddy. Teddy and Duncan are standing by, for they just took this walk. They are coming to walk me home. Behind Teddy and Duncan, oh my glorious God, everyone I have ever loved before. Mama…Ma…it’s glorious! It’s so glorious…