I am recovering nicely and being well cared for. Make no mistake that I am blessed. I want to share the love abundantly blessed upon me, with all of you, and so I shall.
I write today about “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” The great Martin Luther King, Jr…that man had a dream!
In this room, we do love. In this room, we do hugs. In this room we are safe.
We have all been wrong. We have all fucked up. In this room, that’s okay. It really is okay.
I have a dream too. I dream of a world where we learn to accept that we are spiritual beings having a temporary human experience. We are here, temporarily, in these bodies, navigating this terrain, scared fucking shitless. Guess what? So is everyone else!
If we cannot see the dysfunction in a world where we approve of and encourage suicide, because we believe we have fucking arrived, I’m not sure how it could be more clear. We are fucking sick! Evil begets evil and you’ll get yours. An eye for an eye has made our whole world pretty fucking blind, hasn’t it? Just look at us…judging the shit out of each other while drowning in our own fucking sin. We need to get a handle on the reality that it isn’t us and them. This isn’t us against them and them against us.
We have a beautiful opportunity here to grow, don’t we? I mean, how beautiful that we can be love all of the time. We don’t have to follow the masses into the darkness. We have a choice and I’m going to let this little light of mine shine. “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine…”
In this healing room, with my little light, I put forth my candle to ignite yours…every single one of yours. You want to know how amazing that is? It takes absolutely nothing from me, to share my light with you. It takes absolutely nothing from you to share your light with someone else. One light, one prayer, one step at a time, I’m gonna let it shine.
We must be the change my friends. We must stop looking outside ourselves for answers that only lie within. We must silence the screaming so that we can hear the choirs of angels in chorus all around us.
I send love and light to Anthony Bourdain and to the family and to the life he left behind. I take that troubled man in my weary arms and I lift him up, as high as I can, that he may find his peace. I ask God himself to shine down upon him and show him grace and mercy and the error of his ways, in a love that passes all understanding. I pray for every animal, ever harmed by him, by you, by me. I thank them, each and every one, for holding space and sacrificing so much for the sickeness that is overwhelming the human race.
We stick our forks and our knives in them. We hang them on our fucking walls and we wear them. We exploit them for our own entertainment. We abuse them because someone fucking abused us. We eat them because that is what we grew up knowing to do. They have no value because we were taught that they came here, for us, to do as we damn well please with them. We say we love the animals and we hate this man who didn’t…and I ask each of you, how many animals have you loved to death,on your own fucking plate, sliced away into bits with your own forks and knives? How many of you were born vegan? If you were not born vegan, and I was not born vegan, you have been the reason for tremendous suffering for the animals. You love your dog and you slaughter your cow, and you call this man evil and vile and insensitive. Maybe you’re right and maybe he is, and maybe, just maybe, that is where we all come in, in the healing room, to love this man home. Truly, here and now, let the one of us here without any sin of our own, cast the first stone. Let the rest of us stand the fuck down and exercise some compassion, shall we? Let us stop judging for long enough to see that a very troubled man, left this world and loved ones behind, and isn’t that enough to just say a prayer and send him on his way?
You May do as you see fit, of course and I’m not here to tell you what to do. I am here to offer up a suggestion though, that we start driving out the darkness with some light and that we start loving some of this hurt and healing the world we live in. Whether you know it or believe it or not, we really are all just walking each other home. How do you suppose we are doing that effectively when we take the guy who said shitty things about vegans and mutilated animals, and crucify him after he already fucking died, and quite possibly, took his own life?
Do you suffer from mental illness? Have you ever tried to kill yourself? Do you have any fucking idea what it is like to be that hopeless? Have you ever hurt someone who couldn’t even defend themselves? Have you ever been hurt by someone you couldn’t defend yourself from? The rage all around this is fear and fear breeds hate…hate breeds more fear.
You are so worried about those poor animals that this poor man publicly and proudly destroyed? The animals would ask you why your compassion ends with them? Compassion is not just for the animals. Compassionate lifestyle choices and compassionate living comes from a much larger spectrum than being an armchair vegan.
My name is Coral and I have been vegan for just over four years. I worked animal rescue for years and we celebrated the ones we got adopted, the ones we saved, by barbecuing the ones who don’t matter anyway. I have killed and harmed many more animals than I care to know, in my selfish decisions throughout my lifetime. I sure did love me some burgers and beers, some steaks and crab legs. I sure did love to eat me some shrimp and some chicken breast…was I a fucking monster? I prefer to say that I was not awakened yet and that I am slowly waking up. I was wrong, so fucking wrong and I stand corrected and educated and educating.
I see a Coral of days before, and I am not impressed some days. I feel the fear of the life I lived and he entitlements that I took, the liberties that were not mine. I see the faces of the animals in our front yard and to say that I am sorry…well, that would just be a fucking drop in a big ol fucking bucket, wouldn’t it? The blood on my hands does not wash itself off with the tears I cry in deep and soul crushing regret for not knowing what I didn’t know before I knew it.
So, to you, Mr. Bourdain, to every single one of us who has been so fucking wrong that we rocked the world around us, Godspeed, and May you find your way home.
For those of you sure there is no God, and even more sure that if there is a God, Mr. Bourdain will not be meeting him, I would throw caution to the wind, as that is not ours to involve ourselves in, and we ought to let go of that for our own sakes.
You don’t have to agree with me or even listen to me. I speak because I need to say these things. I speak my heart and pour it out for you, in this our healing room. I created this space, to do just that…to somehow, somewhere, someway…find some love and forgiveness and light for us all…without conditions or judgement, and only to say that I love you just the same.
I did not know Anthony Bourdain and I am not sure why this had struck such a deep chord with me, other than to say that my heart has literally hurt and my eyes have teared for him and the torture that must have haunted him. I cry for his kids left behind without heir Father, as I lie here desperately missing my own. My heart aches for his children, as being a kid is hard on a good day, and I cannot imagine having to hear such horrors from my father and about my father after his passing, at his own hands.
I am not for everyone. Everyone knows that, right? Hey, that’s okay. I love you just the same.