Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

❤️♥️💜❤️♥️❤️Justice for Aiden ❤️♥️💜❤️♥️💜Thank you❤️♥️💜

Good evening everyone! This is Aiden!!! Guess what you guys?!? Guess what?! I said I was going to court in the race car and I did. I went with my mom in my service dog vest to see the judge this morning. The man who took me was there and I felt uneasy. My mom was more shaken because she hadn’t seen him so much like I had or heard his voice. I spent a lot of days with his family and they were there too. The judge had a lot of people telling her what they thought they should do and I heard everyone. My mom had to go talk loud to the judge on a stick to say what we wanted. My mom said we wanted something called “justice”, I think, in other words, she said that he should pay for what he did to me and my family and to all of you who loved me and worried so much for me, and even to some other people who he hurt with his bad behavior. The judge seemed to agree with my mom on everything. The police talked too and they wanted what mom wanted too. And then the man who took me and his family wanted something different. Something about leniency and furlough, I think. Anyway, the judge did not say this was okay. The Judge was very nice when she told the man and his family that the most he could repay for what he did, he would have to pay…the most time. The most consequence and the most offers to help him to get better. The man asked for help and the judge offered him help. We asked for fair and the judge was fair. That’s a nice judge to me and I feel happy inside.

The one thing that I noticed a lot in court was the friend to me when I was in the house that man took me to. He was very sad and someone took his leg too since I saw him. Anyway, he is the dad of the man who took me and I felt him crying inside with his son. I asked Coral to send him our love because he was very, very sad. When people are sad, I want them to smile. The man without a leg told me and my family that he was sorry for what his son did. I believe him. I wanted to tell him I was sorry for him too because he lost his son to bad behavior for a while. Coral said we should say “God bless you” instead and put our love on his shoulder, and so we did that instead. Coral said that sometimes our words can be more important than we ever know and so we should pick words very carefully. Coral told me that sometimes she forgets and sometimes she uses way too many words. I think sometimes the best words are no words at all.

I want to tell you something special from the time we have spent tangled up in this mess…something special is the love that came from everyone. This very sad thing brought us all to ❤️♥️💜 love and so to me, it’s okay that it happened. It is better that it’s over now. My mom and I and my dad haven’t breathed, like really, really breathed and Coral said she and Tamara and Janet haven’t breathed much either. I think maybe that’s because we were holding our breath for this right decision to be said by the judge today.

Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everyone who loves me so, so much. I love you all so, so much too. I’m going to be taking some time to love on my family, especially on my mom. I felt my moms heart hurt the hardest and her throat shake. My mom is so strong and this man really hurt her by taking me away from her. When my mom had that loud talking stick, I was so, so proud of her. A couple of times, she looked at the guy who took me and she told him it was not okay. My mom was so brave and my dad was there too. My family needs to breathe and so this is a very good day for breathing. I hope all of you breathe good tonight too. And…wait until I tell Jaxson and Howie about justice tonight!!!!

One more thing that I think is most important…please say “I love you” to Melaquias and his family tonight. A lot of hearts were hurt in that courtroom today. A lot of people were lost and hurt and scared. A lot of people have to spend a lot of time without their someone because of bad stuff too. I get to be with my someone…the most special and important and brave someone I know, tonight…my mom, and he does not and his dad does not. I saw them looking at each other’s souls in court today and crying on the inside of their cheeks. A dad and a son who lost their way to each other and a family blown apart like mine was when they took me away from my mom and dad. I know how sad and scared I was and so I just want you to say you love them so they aren’t so sad and scared. Even if it sounds crazy to you, will you please love Melaquias and his someone’s too?

I’ve got to go and celebrate with my family!!!! ❤️💜♥️💜❤️💜❤️💜💜❤️♥️💜❤️💜💜❤️❤️♥️💜❤️💜♥️❤️💜♥️❤️♥️💜💜💜I love you guys so much! Thank you for helping me meet justice today. And a very special thank you to APD for working so hard to get justice. I love you guys. ❤️♥️💜

❤️♥️💜Love Aiden

Aiden here this morning! Today is an important day and so I can’t talk much. I’m going to court this morning with my mom. The guy who took me is going to pay for what he did in court. We just have to got to be sure that the judge makes him pay. You don’t take dogs from their moms purses. God doesn’t like that. You don’t break glass and scare big dogs because I don’t like that. My brother Jaxson was so so scared and he can’t come to court today. Coral said she will bring everyone to court who can’t go through that police light up beeper. So, Coral is bringing Mikey and Howie and Dori and Jaxson and Sid too and my dad and moms dad and your dad too, if you want. Coral has special security clearance in other realms and so she brings Team Aiden, no matter where or who or what. Don’t tell everyone though, okay? Today we are going for sentencing. I don’t know what that means. I just know that I have my bright red vest on so I can be there in court and hear the judge too! So many people are very enrolled in the outcome of this court case from what I hear, for dogs rights and for people rights too. Do you know that dogs and cats like Howie have rights too. Howie has his own rights and now he was more rights…Howie will be so happy to hear this! I cannot wait to tell him!!! Anyway, it’s time to get ready for court with my mom, so I’ll catch you guys later! I would say wish me luck…I don’t know why…I think we don’t need luck. We’ve got this. We just need left hugs and lots and lots of love…and maybe, if you’re cool like me and Alice, a tongue out 👅 too!!! Alice is coming to court with Coral too, for Team Aiden. I love you Alice and I love you Howie and I love you Sid and Dad and Dori and Mikey too and most of all today, I love you Jaxson. I’m fighting for your rights too Jax. I love you and I’m mad they scared you. I’m going to tell the judge they scared you too, okay? I love you guys!

Please say it with me…

“I love you Aiden!!!!!”

So blessed for the beauty in my life…say it with me…”I love you Aiden!!!!!”

Good Monday morning everyone! Wow! What a whirlwind weekend I had! I am happy to announce that I have completed all of my requirements to submit my licensing renewal for my LMT license. Ethics, Ortho-Bionomy and CPR…check, check and check! I arrived home last night and I feel so blessed and so full from my time up in Pecos. I am excited to implement new techniques into my own practice from all I learned over the weekend.

Aiden was a pretty constant topic of conversation and everyone loves his taste in shoes! I was so glad to have Aiden with me and to be working so closely with him, even while I was away for a few days. The beauty of my work is that I can take it and it takes me wherever I go. There is a whole new group of people who have fallen in love with Aiden and who are loving him and praying for him. This makes me so happy and so full and so sure of who I am and I am grateful for that.

I met some amazing people, who do some amazing work! Gifted and seasoned therapists and instructors…a beautiful facility and wonderful accommodations…thank you to everyone who made my experience amazing. All of my love and gratitude.

I haven’t been on and off of massage tables like that in years. Partner rotations and demos…technique practice and show and tell. It reminded me of how vulnerable we really all are and how we must never lose sight of that in our lives and in our work. First rule of massage therapy is the same as it is in practicing medicine, and that is to do no harm. I am blessed by all of the hands that touched me and thankful for the opportunity to place my hands on so many people in practice. I am also thankful that I have completed this very daunting task for me! I’ve two years before I have to visit this again and I am feeling some weight lift from me and I am so thankful!

I hope you all have a beautiful Monday! I intend to have a beautiful Monday myself, just basking in it all and coming back to center a bit. All of my love to all of you and if you would please, say it with me, “I love you Aiden!!!!!”

A life lesson from Aiden: All I want to do is stay

Happy Sunday from Pecos everyone! I am finishing up my classes for my CEUs in Santa Fe this weekend! Today is my final day of Ortho-bionomy and WOW! What an epic weekend of learning and practice and being with people! For this gal, it’s a lot. Socially awkward an anxious at times…a loner and with a strong preference to be alone, I really threw myself in to lot of social interaction this weekend. Hands all over me and mine all over you…ya, it’s a lot. It’s an awful lot of continuing education and continued practice, so that we can bring all of you the best of ourselves. Ortho-bionomy is going to be a catalyst in my private practice to invite healing at a deeper level for all of my clients. What a beautiful technique! How did I not know if this before now? To be totally honest, my sister Robin Dyer picked this class for me. Aiden picked my shoes. Red adidas, before your first class on Friday, no exceptions. And here’s me…”but sister, that doesn’t interest me or sound like me at all…Aiden, I don’t have a budget for red adidas shoes right now. I just rented a shared home in Pecos, instead of a private residence in Santa Fe to save money!!! I can’t buy shoes!! And red? You want me to find red adidas?” And here I sit, with my brand new Aiden kicks on and my Ortho packet staring back at me, in the beautiful meditation space of my shared home in Pecos! Thank you Robin and Aiden! Thank you James and Jenny for hosting me! Thank you Santa Fe School of Massage and to all of the instructors and participants in this amazing weekend!

I came up Friday night to get settled in before my ethics class. Aiden had me running ragged for these red adidas shoes, which I found at my last stop finally. Then I headed up to Pecos to settle in before my Ethics class from 6-10pm in Santa Fe. I am often agitated and unsettled and arriving in Pecos, I was a bit out of sorts. I was greeted by Jenny and showed to my room. I was in and out in 15 minutes and returned well after dark, from Santa Fe. I began to unravel like I do…I should have gotten a private place…I needed privacy…I didn’t feel like talking or being jovial….what the fuck was I thinking? I piss money away like nothing and then I “save” money on my place to sleep, shower and shit. Really Coral? Fuck, I irritate myself sometimes! So fucking irrational and ridiculous is the notion that I do not deserve the best of myself and my life and what I have to offer. Ahhhhhh. Anyway, I got myself into a spin and my boxer briefs all into a twist. I freaked out inside and I got so mad at myself. I beat myself up and I drove around aimlessly for a bit trying to reconcile it all within myself. And then I looked down and saw those bright red adidas shoes and Aiden looking up at me. And I just stopped. Everything just stopped. What the hell is happening to me? Who the fuck am I? Where did I become so afraid of my own life and my own fucking choices and preferences? When did I start skimping on me? When did the hundreds of dollars passing through my hands not hold value for me and my preferences anymore? Do you know my all time favorite brand of anything? Adidas. My favorite color to wear, even though I look much better in green…is red. I won’t buy shoes that expensive for me. That red is too bright and too eccentric for me. I spent my life in adidas, playing soccer. I dribble a soccer ball better than I fucking walk. I look down at these crazy fucking shoes and I see Aiden looking up at me with a huge grin, and I’m back in the game again! Thank you Aiden. Thank you little buddy! Let’s play ball my friend!

So, Aidens shopping excursion seemed untimely and ridiculously unnecessary. I didn’t have to do it. I was justified in being busy. It was Aiden though and so I knew there would be something to these shoes. Countless stores offering me black or grey adidas shoes in just my size. Out of red. None in my size. Not adidas but bright as fuck red for absolute sure. And somehow I knew to stay the course and to not falter on Aidens requirements for these red adidas shoes. Here’s the lesson:

I am staying in Pecos with a man and his wife who God himself has host for him. I am staying in God’s house here in Pecos. All of the things I feared here were things I needed desperately in my life. I feared being close to someone and not having time and space for myself this weekend. I feared bed bugs and smells unfamiliar to me. I feared being alone in a strange and rural place. I feared being awkward. Last night I came home and met James. I came into my room afterwards, for I had just met God. I just fucking sat there stupefied and paralyzed and dumbfounded. I had no words at all. I looked around me at everything I had feared. Everything looked and felt much different to me. Suddenly the idiosyncrasies turned into divine blessings. Everyone and everything in my world became sacred. The details. The love. The place…this place…I was on hallowed and sacred ground here. The bed, made just for me and the cinnamon roll under the glass cake safe, homemade by James himself…the carefully labeled bottles of shampoo and soap in the shower…everything was prepared just for me. The texts to get my ETA and the waiting up for me to get home…the promise that he would be up to see me off this morning…all of it…I missed all of it at first. Now, I’m just sitting here in awe of all of it. God himself sent Aiden to usher me off this weekend, into my own divinity, to come back to all of you different somehow. In my meditation space, writing with all of you this morning, I know I am. I am different.

I came here pretentious and uptight and scared. I was ready to run. I was less than I am in an effort to be more than I am. I wanted solitude as I needed some fucking love man. Aiden knew I needed someone leaving the light on for me and getting up to tell me goodbye this morning. James is a chef and he baked in Las Vegas, Nevada. James makes cinnamon rolls and he leaves them under the glass cake safe on the table for us. I left mine there yesterday because I assumed it probably wasn’t vegan. This morning I went and swiped it, because I don’t care if it’s vegan or not. That cinnamon roll, made especially for me, with all of his love…ya, that’s where it’s at. It’s in the love man!

Aiden showed me how I cry for love in a million different ways every single day of my life. More importantly, Aiden showed me how I shun that love for not being “just right” for me in the same million ways that I call it up.

The red adidas shoes and the accommodations in Pecos…the really, really hard class with an equally difficult name…the long drive down a dark road to a rural and serene space, prepared just for me. Aiden ushered me in and I tried to run right back out because I guess I learned higher standards and bigger expectations…fuck, I’ve no idea what I think I knew. I didn’t know a damn thing. I knew nothing. Now, as I sit here with my coffee and my thoughts and myself…looking down at my shoes and Aiden…waiting to go and greet my hosts…I just feel whole somehow. Like nothing is missing from me this morning. I want to stay. All I want to do is stay. Thank you for the lyric Enya. Pale Grass Blue is the song this morning, from Aiden, for each of us.

Please say it with me, to my guru, this morning, “I love you Aiden!!!!”

And the alters have me this morning ❤️♥️💜

Good morning everyone! Happy Thursday! I did not get much sleep and I am a little bit pissy this morning. I apologize in advance for that. Fatigue and sleep deprivation do not help this girl to deal gracefully with her struggles at all. With that being said, I hope your night was more restful and peaceful than mine was!

I read a post on a page I follow this morning about “alters” and I am so thankful. Truly, I love reading something that I relate to so much, that explains so much about me, without fetching another diagnosis or being presented another smorgasbord of narcotic medication to “help” me. I do not want to be medicated with narcotics. I do not want to be more comatose than I already feel on some days, just waking up. I don’t want to be any more eccentric and outlandish than I already am, just to attempt to be well. Having alters scared me so much at first and the idea of other people finding out I had alters scared me even more. Now, it just simply explains me and how I survived the horrific abuse in my life. I have different egos and personalities that are actual split pierces of myself, and they work with me to navigate my life. Sam is my inner child and she came to save me from the impact that little Coral couldn’t survive. Sam and Coral work pretty well together. Some of the other alters do not work well very with anyone. Social anxiety, plagued with too much talking on my part, causes much discomfort and awkwardness for me daily. Misophonia, which is quite literally the hatred of sound, in which negative thoughts, emotions and physical reactions are triggered by sound, is my constant companion. If I had to pick one of my disorders that makes my life intolerably difficult daily, it would be the misophonia. A living and waking hell that knows no ends or bounds or limits. Dogs barking incessantly last night have me full blown triggered this morning. And so I begin reworking today’s schedule. I don’t want my colleagues to see me this way, and so today I skip VCA and do distance work with Aiden. My first client, also a dear friend, is a safe zone and so I can work comfortably there. My other client will be at work and so I’m feeling safe there. My errands, except for getting gas, can wait, and I’ll get back home as soon as possible. Back at home, I can begin to decompress a bit and recalibrate myself. This is my morning routine and today it fucking sucks. The struggle is real and I am a hot fucking mess today, all because I haven’t lined out my alters and my day and my emotions enough yet, to function.

My life is definitely a trip. I am super fucking intense. I care more about many of you than you care about yourselves. I love with all of me and I hurt deeply when love is with held from me. I give more than I’ve got to keep you on track and I care more about your finish than my own. I feel you. I am you. I spend time inside you and so I know who you are, your workings and your idealism’s. I allow you time inside me also, to allow for balance and intimacy in this very cold world. Your fears and inadequacies, I feel them. Your doubts and your negative self talk, I hear it. I am empathic. I bilocate. I intuit beyond the comprehension of most people. I truly do feel you. My alters saved me from death and yet, surviving the horror I did was a fate worse than death, many times over. Some days I grab my own arm and shake me to see if I really am still here at all. I am definitely not like any of you and I’ve known this my whole life. Bullying and constant taunting have always reminded me that I am different and kept me pretty fucking humble. These disorders that I have are simply who I am…this is me…this is my life and who I am. I’m awkward and crazy and without filter. I want life to be fair and when it’s horrifically unfair, I intervene to restore balance. I do this by divine guidance. I am a vessel for the work that comes through me and most days I feel So blessed for who I am and for my ability to do what I do. Today though…today I am tired and sleepless and irritable. Today I wonder what it would be like to be “normal” and I remember why I drank so fucking much. I drank to forget that God expects much more of me than he does from most. I drank to not feel so alone and isolated in who I am. I drank to fit in where I could once only sit and observe from the sidelines. Without drink…sometimes the pain of the my alters slams me into the wall suicidal and begging God to take me from the pain of not fitting in. This morning God said “no”and Aiden says it’s time to get going and so I set all this self pity down. I know how this is going to go…I’ll go grab my brightest tie dye and I’ll get myself presentable for my day…I will spend extra time in prayer and meditation this morning. I will take my hands off of all of you and Aiden and I will handle it. We will just handle it and get into our groove. Aiden and I do not get days off right now, as we are building Aiden a brand new airway. I never need days off from Aiden…just from everyone else sometimes. Today is one of those days, and so I’m going to lie low and mind my own business. I am going to keep my head down and keep my awareness on myself. I surround myself in love and purple light today, that we all be protected from the parts of Coral that serve no one…from the parts of society and one another that serve no one. We all survived something just to be here and we all developed survival skills for keeping us here. Some of those skills do not serve us anymore and yet, we’ve no idea what to do without them. We hold them tight, just in case we need them again. Our alters bring more subtle tools and today I accept those tools happily, as my own toolbox has me locked out this morning. Thank you Alice for your brilliant writing this morning, which totally inspired my own. Thank you for your honesty and your sharing yourself with us, so that I could share too.

To each of you, I love you. I really do love you. I don’t know how I love you or why I love you or what it means that I love you. I just know that I really do fucking love you. I’m going to keep saying so, even though I vowed not to. I vowed not to because some days I grow weary of being so fucking weird man. Fuck! Some days it’s a lot, even for me. Walking up to people and loving them for a deceased spouse or an absent, abusive, asshole spouse, simply because God said so…ya, some days, even in Coral land it’s a mother fucking doozie. I’m sure I’ll be back to my crazy, eccentric self soon. For today though, I’m not going to lie, just to get through it, I’m cutting my day short and laying low. I’m keeping my eyes down and to myself and my soul protected until I get back home. My soul, always open and peering from behind these green eyes, is closed this morning for self preservation. My eyes, constantly in contact with your own eyes, will be shifting away from your gaze today, to heal my own soul. I hope you each have a blessed and beautiful day today. I’ll love you from where I’m at and I will love you with all I’ve got. And if you would please, say it with me…”I love you Aiden!!!!!”

Aiden and Prajna and the hummingbird…

Good evening everyone! I was sitting down to contemplate writing when something hit the window of the studio really hard. When I looked out, there was a baby hummingbird on the deck. I ran out and picked her up and she was not moving much. She tried to fly and fell to the ground beneath the trees. I found her and picked her up again. I held her close to my heart and told her I was with her and she would be okay. Mostly she seemed very stunned. I lifted her up and she tried to fly again and fell face first into the dogs yard. I ran around to retrieve her before Nahko became curious…she wasn’t moving at all. I picked her up again and carried her into the studio. We had some water and waited for Tamara to get home. Tamara would know just what to do. Tamara got home and sure enough…she knew just what to do. We took my little friend “Hum-meer” to the hummingbird feeders so she could drink some sugar water. As I held her on my finger, she drank and drank and drank some more. Afterwards she stopped and looked at us, as if to say thank you, and then she fluttered her wings and flew up into the trees.

These moments and these little wonders make my life complete. Working with Aiden and living with Prajna, not many beings seem very small to me. Today though, with Hum-meer, Prajna seemed giant and Aiden seemed rejuvenated somehow. I thought Hum-meer broke her neck when she hit the window, as her windpipe looked weak like Aidens after she fell. Like Aiden though, she was not broken…she was badly bent for a moment or two…stunned and thrown off for a bit…discouraged, no doubt. And yet, she flew again. As I watched her fly away, I was reminded how we too, once we’ve been smashed and broken, we too fly away, don’t we? And to Prajna and Aiden, Hum-meer must have looked as small to them as they look to me sometimes…or maybe not. Anyway, the thud on the window certainly altered my evening a bit. I wanted to share this love and hope and inspiration with you, for I have felt broken before. When we hit the glass in front of us, that we took for open air, wouldn’t it be nice if someone picked us up and loved us back into flight? We all have the power to love each other back to life. We just have to have faith that we are love in the first place.

Aiden is love. That is all Aiden has ever been and that is all Aiden will ever be. Will you all help me to live Aiden back to flight please? Say it with me…”I love you Aiden!!!!!”

So Thankful for Aiden…

Good morning everyone! Happy Tuesday! Aiden and I have been very busy working on some things. Thank you for fueling us with all of your love and prayers while we work! We love and appreciate how you love us.

This time with Aiden is teaching me so much. Truly, giving your life over to someone else, to be them, to heal them…to unconditionally love them in a way that gives all of yourself to them…it is humbling and eye opening and surreal and beautiful and sometimes a little scary in spots. Aiden is a a great spotter though and we do not touch the ground. Ebbing and flowing, healing and growing and fro growing…Aiden and I are one. An opportunity presented itself for me to leave town for a week of musical medicine and festivities and I just could not leave and miss Aidens court date next week or my time with Aiden and his mom during this very important time in Aidens healing. Decisions like this bring me full circle to realize that some things are just more important than other things and Aiden is most important to me! I am blessed to be as I am and to be so close to Aiden and he is most important to me. Our time in healing space together is opening my eyes and my heart to many things. Thank you Aiden. I love you!!!

Our vet came out for all of the pigs, the goats, the cows and Hondo yesterday. It was about five hours of inoculations, hoove trimming and tusk trimming. It was humbling for sure to hear and see the stress and the fear of all of the animals as their turn approached, and to watch them react and adapt. If you have never heard a pig scream, you’ve absolutely no idea how that decibel registers in your own heart as it cuts through the air. It’s a sound like no other and it literally penetrates my soul every time I hear it. We were so blessed with skilled techs, an amazing veterinarian and our faithful volunteer and everything went off without a hitch. Thank you Western Trails and Dr. Thornton for an amazing afternoon taking care of our babies! We love you guys and are so thankful for you!!! Thank you Rob for always being so fucking amazing! We love you! And to my amazing girl, living her amazing dream, all of my love and respect. Truly, I am in constant awe of the passion that you have and the dedication that you have, to the love and commitment that you have to these animals and to your work in the world with and for them. Living your dream with you is an experience that I am so thankful for and I thank you for making me part of your world. We are so blessed and on days like yesterday, when it all just comes together, we are reminded just how blessed we are. Thank you universe for blessing my life so abundantly!

Today I woke in gratitude. Exhausted from yesterday and sore all over, I know I gave my all and did my best and that feels good. I’ve been working on a prosthetic for Aiden and I am going to drop that off to his mom today, so please pray that it works to help Aiden to keep his trachea open so he can breathe with ease. All of my love went into this design and Aiden and I think that it just may work! Love always works Aiden says!

I hope each of you have a beautiful day today! I’ve a full day today, so I’m off! Looking forward to seeing Aiden this morning and ready for some healing with my clients today. I hope each of you has a beautiful moment today that you share with someone else. A smile. A coffee. Lunch. A phone conversation. Go be for someone what you need in someone and see how your world opens up! Go hug someone…and I mean really hug them…and change your own world. Say you love someone and mean it and see how your heart feels. Open the door for someone. Buy two coffees and give one away. Start doing for others and see how much it does for you to do so. Aiden and I dare you! I love you guys! Have a beautiful day everyone! And say it with me, loud and proud…I love you Aiden!!!!

Exhaulting the pinnacle by Aiden….

Happy Monday everyone! Aiden and I are up and ready for this day! We have been working non-stop to get Aiden exhaulted to his highest heights and we will keep working until he gets there! Building new tracheas and laying in positions that humans don’t execute nearly as well as four pound dogs…practicing barking and making the trachea vibrate at different octaves to get vibrations and depths of sound…all I can say about my life some days is that my life is a trip! I am blessed beyond measure to be here with Aiden and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I am also so blessed to have an amazing partner who lets me fly my freak flag high and fucking proud…and I have all of you rallying around me and with me for Aiden! So…life is pretty fucking amazing and I am truly grateful to be on this journey with Aiden and his mom!

I hope that each of you had a beautiful weekend! For my friends with birthdays, happy birthday! I truly do celebrate my friends on their birthdays, as all of you complete all of me! The day of our birth is kind of a big deal, as we begin another trip around the sun, as we incarnate again to evolve some more, to love and grow and ebb and flow some more. So happy birthday to anyone celebrating! I celebrate you too!

My life is definitely a trip! I woke up to Tamara’s distress call yesterday..one of our guinea fowl had landed on the gate wrong and his foot got stuck between the gate slats. Manny must have been trying to roost and exhault (that was for Aiden) himself up into the trees Saturday night. Failure to launch and his inability to break free rendered him stuck and hanging upside down on that gate all night long, we suspect. When we found him, he was nearly dead and exhausted and his leg got torn up a bit. Lots of love and rest and a bandage job by Dr. Tamara, and we pray he does okay. God do we pray for these guys. Manny is in solitary and healing space and we ask for your love and prayers for his recovery.

The vet will be out today for inoculations and teeth floating and hoove trims, so we will have her care for Manny too. Today is a big day at Santuario, as all of the pigs and the goats and the dogs get vet care here today. We ask that you love our veterinarian and all of her techs and Tamara and I and all of our volunteers deeply this morning as we have our hands on these guys. I have mad respect for all of my friends who are veterinarians and doctors, as they have a lot of pressure on them to do it right, all of the time. Thank you to each of you who went to school so long and worked and studied so hard to take such great care of all of us. I’ve some mad love and respect for each of you and the path you travel. Thank you. Truly, thank you.

Aiden has a lot going on in that little head of his, almost all of the time. More than that though…Aiden has a lot going on in that huge heart of his all of the time! Aidens heart is all love, all of the time. Being in Aidens head and being Aidens heart is a privilege that I cannot find enough grateful words for. As human beings, we miss so much of the wonder and the glory and the contentment of just being a dog and so I embrace this time to just be a dog with Aiden. My life is much more beautiful behind Aidens eyes than it often is behind my own eyes. As I come in and out of Aiden and as I switch roles back and forth with Aidens mom, I know how blessed I am to be loving and working at this sacred level. The rest periods and the work periods are equally important to all of us and as we figure out how to ebb and flow in perfect precision with one another. The triangle…transforming itself into a pinnacle is the human experience. Guided by a dog like Aiden, it’s all pinnacle…every single bit of it! Brushing your teeth, getting married, making love….eating dinner, watching sunsets, riding shotgun next to mom in the race car and FJ cruisin…all pinnacle stuff. The triangle, and never to be triangulated, is only ever used to line us up for the pinnacle. Our lives, Aiden says, every single moment of our lives, can be pinnacle moments just like Aidens. I’ve asked Aiden to chime in on this, so everyone please welcome Aiden to our healing space this morning! Good morning Aiden!

  • Hi everyone! This is Aiden! Good morning and happy happy happy Monday! Thank you for loving me into the pinnacle. I feel each of you in my heart. Each feel makes me stronger. Each feel makes me weller and better and happier. Thank you. The pinnacle is what you humans look for and so I want to explain it to you. You have it all wrong and you all get stuck in the triangles a lot. You triangulate when you could be pinnacling. Here is how we pinnacle people! We surround ourselves with our greatest treasures and with those who love us the most and we spread them out like our favorite toys all around us. We make ourselves comfortable and secure first and then we make sure our love buttons are in full activation. We close our eyes and we imagine that every person in front of us is the person that we live the very most, in all of life. My person is my mom. I pinnacle her like this…My mom is the most beautiful and smart and dedicated and caring and kind person in my world…maybe even in the whole world, so that’s your world too. I take my mom in my arms and I love her with all of myself. My body…my mind and my heart…with all of me, I love all of her. There is not one thing about my mom that I don’t love. AND it seems like I love the things about my mom the most that she loves the least about herself. Some days if she doesn’t feel or look just right before we go to the race car, I feel her a little sad and so I just sing my loudest to her that she is beautiful! Sometimes my dad tells her she is beautiful and she doesn’t believe him at all and I don’t know why. My dad sees really good. When I tell my mom she is beautiful, she begins to pinnacle…the pentagram becomes alive again. So, dogs have hard work some days…telling beautiful humans that they are beautiful, only to be doubted. My mom though…my mom is my rock and my hero and my best friend. My mom is my pinnacle and I’m teaching her to pinnacle too. Coral is learning to pinnacle and to exhault herself too. So, I want you to know that you can learn to pinnacle and exhault yourself to the highest of highs with us too! Today, I know I have to reboot my mom. I know because some mornings when I see her, I know she is going to need me to beam her up!!! Coral is rebooting now. Coral beamed me up! Anyway, we have to pull out these words like pinnacle and exhault sometimes to remind us of where we are at and of who we are. We came here for greatness, to be great….and I think we should start being that, don’t you? I hope you have a beautiful day! I’m hoping to go race car driving later…after I spend some time with Jackson. I love you guys! I’ll talk to you later! My mom is sending more pics so be ready for some cuteness overload!!!!

Happy Saturday from Coral and Aiden…

    Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday! I hope your week has been a good one. I have had a productive week and feel fairly accomplished. My mom and dad would have celebrated their 50 year wedding anniversary yesterday. All day I felt a little sad that I wasn’t planning their 50th like Shawn and I had always wanted to do for them. I didn’t get stuck in my sadness, although I did visit there a few times throughout the day. So, happy belated anniversary to my parents. With my mom in heaven and my dad remarried, the day still held a whole lot of meaning for me and for that I am so grateful. Changing the way I look at things is a difficult tide to turn, and so fucking worth it. So, so worth it. The way I have looked at things in the past has made things ugly for when they didn’t need to be, difficult when it wasn’t hard at all, sad when it really wasn’t and overwhelming when it was easy. My thoughts have harmed me more than anyone or anything else, simply because I allowed my thoughts to take me over. Mindfully, I correct my thinking and miraculously my life is changing and I am so thankful for that.

Aiden is a soul from somewhere very special. Something about Aiden is the pure the and good. Aiden exemplifies and is the epitome of the beauty in us all. Aiden came from somewhere special to take us all back there with him.

I really am all Aiden all the time right now. My life goes on…it’s just that Aiden is the center of my world and the recipient of my constant attention. Practically every thought is of Aiden and every idea is to help Aiden to be well. It is just like the day I got the call about Aiden being missing…after that, until Aiden came back home, it was all Aiden until he was in his moms arms. When God calls you personally to care for his most beloved, you have a knowing that your life is blessed beyond measure. When God says to design Aiden a new trachea and think he called the wrong person because you failed A & P not once but twice, taking your massage licensing, you get out your paper and pen and you become a mother fucking architect. You make o rings out of C’s and E’s and O’s and you dance like you know how. You learn to balance and hold the weight and the world and the heart of someone else above you. You learn that the gifts you don’t possess will be evident in the gifts you allow others to come forward with as you rise and fall and ebb and flow in this healing process.

For me, life with Aiden has been a beautifully choreographed dance. We dance to the left for all of you and we come back to center to bring you in with us, before we slow start back to the right again. We go FJ cruising and race car driving together like old friends. We lie together for hours on our stomachs inviting the air to visit us in our windpipe very slowly and gently. We manipulate our windpipes and we reminisce about our beautiful moms together. We dream of a better world, and we find our own ways to improve the world we landed in for this incarnation. We have been together before, Aiden and I and his mom. We have journeyed together before. We are all in different roles now and our life is different than it was in the old world. In the old world, we were one and we knew that. Now we are seemingly separate and looking to reconnect. All of us are doing that you know? All of us have deja vu sometimes don’t we? A familiar smell, a sound, a voice or a place…and we know we have been there before. We know we have loved these beautiful beings before and we are here to love them better this time around. Blessed by more time with Aiden, I am beyond dedicated to do whatever I can to give him what he needs for his journey to be comfortable, safe and well.

Our lives begin to really matter the day that we realize that we are not here for ourselves. Our purpose begins to reveal itself when we openly share the gifts we have available to us. Finding Aiden to some was like looking for a needle in a haystack. For me, it was like my own life depended upon Aiden coming home. I can’t really explain it. I just knew when the call came in that Aiden would return to his mom. I can’t explain it now eitherwith that same knowing, I know Aiden is to be exalted of his struggles. So again, I ask each of you to pray with me for Aiden and his healing. I ask each of you to throw all of your love at Aiden and his mom and his dad and his siblings, as the struggle is real for each of them.

On this morning as I get ready to go out into the world, I reach up and feel the soft growth on my head, the hair that I’m growing for Aiden. For years, I’ve been shaving my hair off to give strength to those battling cancer. Now, with all of my love, I grow my hair to give Aiden all the love and strength I’ve got. As my hair grows, so does Aidens strength. And so I say, let that Aiden fro grow! Let it grow! Let it grow!

Thank you to each of you who is loving Aiden and his family so, so much. Please dial up the love and prayers with me this morning. Please open your heart and say it with me…”I love you Aiden!”

Have a beautiful Saturday and Aiden says thank you for loving him so much! Aiden will share the name of his groomer with me, so not to worry, I will be in the best hands with my new hair! Thanks Aiden!

And we dance for Aiden…

Happy Friday everyone! Thank you for all of the love for Aiden. We really do appreciate each and every one of you for loving Aiden so much. Aiden is an ambassador and the world needs him. We really do need Aiden well and feeling good, and The world needs Aidens spirit and his unconditional love. So this morning, we dance for Aiden.

There are many of us working together for the best solution for Aidens predicament. Many hands and many hearts coming together to get Aiden on the mend. There are acrobatics involved and juxtaposing and getting it just right. Juggling and moving and dancing bodies into the just right position. There is me holding this here while you go up there and do that. And I’ll submit my diagram to you and you edit it and kick it back to your colleagues, until our design is flawless for Aidens new windpipe. I will hold you up until you collapse on top of me and we will rest and then you will hold me up to do my work. We will do this, switching roles until it’s done, with Aiden heart center the whole time, getting well! We are learning how intricately we must all work together, with such fine tuning and precision. We are dancing to the left and holding it just right…and rebalancing and getting centered. And guess what? Every single one of you has a role in this…a tool in your hand, love in your heart…a loving intention…we each have something that Aiden needs from us. Love is coming together unconditionally to get it to him, and we are doing that. Love is a verb and in this, Aiden is teaching us how to love. Aiden is teaching us how to show up, even when we feel we’ve so little to offer. Aiden is big enough to ask for help, to show us that we too can ask for help. Aiden teaches us that no matter who are are or what we do, we can always be love. Working together and using what we have to lift someone up who can offer more…that’s why we are here. I can lift you higher than I can go sometimes and so I lie down on the bench and I press you up. I give all I’ve got from underneath you to reach your heights. Bench pressing you and dead lifting you to your heights, and catching you when you fall exhausted on top of me…that’s how we heal Aiden. We take our turns and our shifts doing our best work and we stand on each others feet and we balance on each other’s hands…we move about and up and down and to and fro with absolute precision. We ebb and flow and we take turns being on top and lying as the spotter on the bottom. We realize that both positions are imperative and on our rest breaks, we connect hearts and recharge ourselves and one another. After our rest, I begin to push you back up to your heights. I arch my back and I push your hands up on my palms…I balance your feet flat on the bottoms of my feet and I extend my knees as I raise you up. In fluid form and motion, we dance. First you lead and I follow and learn your steps and then I shall teach you my steps. Together, in perfect rhythm and balance, with love as our guide, we dance! For Aiden, we dance.

Aiden says thank you for dancing for him! He will be back to dancing with all of us in no time at all! We love you guys! Have a beautiful Friday!