Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

I write for one of my dearest friends since mid school this morning…love her up please❤️

Good morning everyone. Happy Friday the 13th! Today is a difficult day for someone whom I love very much and someone whom I have loved for a very long time. A week ago my friend found her boyfriend deceased when she went to go meet him for morning coffee. My world tilted upon receiving this news. Words left me. My heart holds hers and I reach out to each and every one of you this morning, and I ask you to stop what you are doing and lift my sister up to God himself to comfort her on this day. A week ago her world literally shattered into a million pieces.

Many of us are struggling, aren’t we? In relationship, we struggle. In work, we struggle. In friendship, we struggle. Internally and externally, we struggle.

I never had the blessed privilege of meeting my friends boyfriend. I was just too busy to make the time I guess. More over, there would be time to meet him later. I would make time later to meet the guy who lit my friends heart ablaze. I got a text last Friday…”I found my boyfriend dead this morning….” Let me tell you something…there is no appropriate response for a text like that. There are no fucking words or subsequent texts that say enough or say it right. There isn’t a hug big enough or empathy strong enough for pain like this. The pain of my friend, which I jumped in front of is a pain that I would not wish upon anyone.

My dearest friend,

I write this open letter to you a week after receiving your text about Ron. I write this letter to you, for everyone this morning, at Rons request. I would typically ask permission and he is very clear that he has granted permission from his new realm, and so I’m going with that this morning.

Tracy, girl, you gave me something that no one ever gave me before. Your love and care for me changed my broken heart. Your faith in me and love for me healed parts of me that I thought would never heal. “Close your eyes and tell me what’s your wish. Close your eyes. All we’ve got is this baby”…you’ll always be my baby. I love you. I am never far away. Love, your man

Thank you for coming by this morning brother. I will be with your girl today and we will be with you ❤️

I Always open my blog for messages from places that others cannot receive messages from. Ron wants me to let you each know that waking up dead has been, by far, the hardest thing that ever happened to him. Being there and not being there…being gone and not being able to come back…being touched and not being able to touch back. Being dead on the other side of the cooling glass and unable to reach out and comfort the person who you gave yourself and your heart to. Death doesn’t allow for two cups of hot coffee in the morning and the empty cup echos the conversation you yourself are dying to have with the one gone from you.

Many of us have strayed far away from all that we hold sacred and dear. Many of us have completely given up on things that may have had some life still left in them. Many of us are sucking the life out of things with little life left in them. Some of us left the driveway. Some of us stayed in the driveway. Some of us live and some of us died. If you have someone this morning, Ron says to grab two cups and run to them! Do not pass go. Do not make excuses and don’t let your blame and shame derail you from them.

For anyone who is not sitting here this morning with an empty cup of coffee and an empty chair before you, a broken heart inside you, and no moments left, I’m going to encourage you to move your ass quickly to the one you love with a hot cup of coffee this morning. I’m going to offer you the insight to make some room for amazing conversation and close your time together with your biggest hug. Time does run out. Coffee does get cold. We give up and we cannot go back and un-give up.

A week later, I am here to tell you, as I head to the funeral home this afternoon to pay respects to a body I’ve never laid eyes on, I wish I had made time for what is important to me. As the service approaches tomorrow and as the procession gathers behind his hearse for his final ride to Santa Fe tomorrow, for interment into our National Cemetery, I close my eyes and remember that all we’ve got is this. Ron served our country in the United States Air Force and I thank you for your service brother.

Ron passed away Friday, September 6, 2019 at his home, at 61 years old. He is survived by family and friends and by my dear friend, Tracy, who meant everything to him, and he to her.

Whatever it is and however you ended up in your predicament…however badly it hurts and however difficult it is to communicate…you aren’t dead on the floor this morning and God willing, you’re not standing over the one whom you love dead this morning. Sit with that for as long as you need to and then do what you need to do. Time does run out. Ron should know a lot more about any of this than we do this morning, as he reaches for a coffee cup that he can no longer hold from the other side this morning and a girl that he loves and cannot hold through the pain of losing him.

I am going to ask each of you to say with me this morning….”I love you Tracy. Our arms and or love surround you.”

All of my love to you Tracy and to each of you. Go grab two cups of coffee this morning, for Tracy and Ron, and let’s lift them up. Go grab your someone and fix whatever is broken. Time does run out.

Passing on the love that was just gifted to me…thank you. Thank you. Thank you….

I was SO gifted this morning, during my meditation,  that I just had to share this with you!

This morning, after coffee with all of you, I had coffe with Nahko. I had coffee with Sage. I had coffee with Benny. I had coffee with my Mom and my Dad, with my little brother, Shawn…

I meditate with Nahko, every single day, optionally, first thing every day, in my morning meditation…thank you Nahko. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

On this day, much like every day, after my chosen Nahko song, Mitakuye Oyasin, I invite Spirit to bring me love notes, if she wishes…well, today, she wishes…and I am so thankful!!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Today, while listening to “Pueo”…thank you Nahko…Parsley came swooping in…that’s right…swooping and flying and tippity tap, tap dancing…flying and crashing about the water…smiling and quacking her little Quackle horn…at the very end of this song, in complete silence, Parsley came to me…in every instrument, every vibration…she danced and smiled and flew…she soared…and she sang and brought her friends…and it was ducking glorious! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

After sharing this experience with Tamara, I resumed my meditation with Nahko. A few moments later, Tamara quietly walked in and placed Benny’s picture in front of me, and whispered, “I thought you might like to have coffee with Benny this morning”….and you have no idea, I had no idea, how much I wanted to have coffee with Benny this morning. With Nahko in the background, we listened together to “Manifesto II” and “Risk It”…”7 Feathers”…Thank you Tamara, for sharing your beautiful cousin with me. I regret not knowing him while he was here in body. From what I’ve come to know of Benny through you and the rest of his family and through the blessed time that I spend with him, his spirit was WAY, too big for that body of his.

Your Aunt so passionately spoke of her conversation with Benny to all of us, shortly after his passing…”I am everywhere…look at me, I am everywhere and Benny is everywhere…we all know that, don’t we? We all feel that and that is how we know it…Thank you Benny, and Nahko, for sharing morning coffee with me this morning…Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And all of you, back for a second cup…thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Whoever you want to sit in front of you while you drink your morning coffee, that’s who you invite. You don’t have to invite anyone and you surely don’t have to invite me, unless you can visualize me and it works for you.

Invite Toomie.  Invite Zen and Ohana and Karma. Invite Lloyd and Sherry. Invite Mary Kay and Benny. Invite Joey. Invite Gypsy and Hannah. Invite Mosley and Jingles. Invite Gable. Invite your Mom and your Dad. Invite your twin sister. Invite the Grandmother who raised you. Invite the dearly departed. Invite the love you lost and can no longer reach. Invite a conversation with someone you cannot speak to.

Your morning coffee…your healing and yours to invite whomever you wish to invite…if you invite them and take the time and prepare a space for them, they will come…

Thank you Tamara and Nahko, Mom and Benny, Parsley, and of course, each of you…for having coffee with me, on this, the first day of the rest of our amazing lives….

I love you! Have a beautiful day!

C7981B6F-B594-4D22-9334-7C3013EFA4DA.jpeg

Morning coffee with Coral…

Happy Wednesday morning everyone! I hope you are warm and cozy, getting up and ready to start your day.

I can picture you, with your tired and groggy eyes, stumbling towards the coffee pot. You look nothing like you will here in an hour or two, as you head out into the world.

There will be a transformation of sorts and when you imerge today, you will look much different than the person I just bumped into,in the kitchen.

So before you start getting ready and pour yourself into your adulting clothes, maybe we could just spend the next hour or so together, just you and I. I would really like that.

I am also still in my cozies and wiping the sleep from my own eyes, stumbling for the coffee pot and ready for our morning together.

What a wonderful way to start my day, here with you. Truly, how long has it been, since we just sat together, you and I? It seems like it has been lifetimes, doesn’t it?

No bother. We are here now and it is as though no time has elapsed at all. You look amazing! Truly, my favorite thing is seeing you, first thing, before you go out into the world, before you suit up…when you are you, raw and uncensored…vulnerable and real and open…your hair all messed up and the sheet lines still on your face…cuddled up in your robe with just your coffee cup visible…

You look the most amazing to me when you are the most you! You clean up nice…that goes without question…and I still like you best , just how you are right now.

Isn’t this grand? We can talk about anything we want for the next hour…anything at all. We don’t have to even think about work right now, even though I know you are…let’s put that somewhere else for the next hour or so…

Hey, let’s talk about the last time we had coffee together….wow, has it really been that long? You’re right…it has been such a long time ago…

I am so glad we are doing this! I can’t help but wonder, what if our last cup of coffee together, really was our last cup of coffee together? Maybe we didn’t know it on that day…and yet, our last everything kind of came by surprise to me…

I always thought that we would have forever together, you and I. The last time we had coffee, I never imagined that we would never, ever sit together again, and have coffee and beautiful conversation. Did you know? I mean, did you see this all coming and just not tell me? I did not know…I had no idea, that our last coffee was our last coffee…

There are a few of you that I cannot have coffee with anymore, other than like this, in the stories that I write, to bring you here with me.

Mom…did you know that our last cup of coffee together, was to be our last cup of coffee, ever together? Over our lifetimes, we had countless cups of coffee together, coupled by the most amazing conversations…we solved world issues and went on tremendous adventures…spilled our hearts and souls, with nothing between us, other than two cups of coffee.

And you…do you remember our last cup of coffee together? We were laughing, weren’t we? Hungover and groggy as fuck…no sleep and off to work in three hours…and we drank some fucking coffee, didn’t we?

And I didn’t forget about you either, we used to meet frequently for coffee and to catch up with one another, didn’t we? Seeing your face this morning made my whole day beautiful…truly, thank you. Maybe we can meet up again sometime soon and catch up? You’ll call me?

You really thought that I would ever forget about you? Not a fucking chance! Of course I remember our last cup of coffee together…you were naked! (I’m just fucking with you, back in those days, I didn’t drink coffee with naked people, or did I? Anyway…no matter…)

And you ladies…I remember all of you…and the countless times I served you coffee…with Bailey’s of course, at my Mom’s Red Hat Shindigs that she loved so much…that you all loved so much…you ladies look so beautiful this morning! Without your red hats, groggy and tired and sitting here with me reminiscing…laughing and remembering. Thank you for being here with me today!

And you, you crazy fucker! You told me that coffee would sober me up, if I drank two coffees to every beer, and I did! Fuck…I broke the seal that night and I have never peed so much in my fucking life! Drunk…drunk…caffeine…Fuck! I clearly see it now, I did your equation backwards…maybe that is why it did not work….

And you thought I didn’t remember our coffee? Of course I do my sweet…the coffee that was already paid for when I drove up to the window at Starbucks that morning…I remember you all the time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You had no way of knowing and I truthfully never thought I would see you again, so I am so glad you are here so I can tell you now…The day you paid it forward, was the same day that I found out my Mom was dying and I couldn’t gather my composure enough to walk inside, so I hit the drive thu…and you had paid for my coffee. You saved me that day, in that moment, with that cup of coffee, because I needed some love, some undeniable, indisputable love…you gave that to me in that day, with that cup of coffee. Thank you for seeing me.

And you make me coffee every week at your home when I come to work in your beloved companion…I cherish those moments with you. I really, really do. Thank you.

And you, you called and asked me to meet you in the Starbucks parking lot for a hug, and I did. No coffee that day…just some amazing and much needed, on both sides, hugs and love…so, so much love.

You always said the same thing to me…”You fly…I’ll buy”…and fly I always did, didn’t I? I think you just didn’t like to have to sit there for twenty minutes ordering your crazy ass drink, so you sent me and bought my black coffee. I had your number all along my friend…and hey, thank you for the coffee and all of the amazing memories!

And you…you’re waiting for me on the couch, aren’t you? I hear you stirring around in there…I’m coming…just give me a few more moments here my love…

Thank you so much for being here with me this morning, for sharing morning coffee with me, once again. I have fucking missed you! Did you know that, that I have missed you so, so much? Well, I have…I have missed you so, so much.

Maybe you are missing someone too? Hey, why don’t you pick up the phone today and invite them to coffee? No text…no email…call them! Pick up your phone and dial their number…let them hear your voice…let you hear their voice…Not today…okay…how about you pay it forward, randomly today, just one cup of coffee?

Do it for you! I am telling you…nothing tastes as good as coffee with someone you miss, over conversation about things that you cannot possibly talk about with anyone else…love yourself enough today to go and make that call…you know, the one you have wanted to make for years, and been afraid to, been too busy to…been too proud to…

BE THE CHANGE my friends and let’s go make some space for all of the good things coming, shall we?