Good morning world. As I prepare to leave here, I hold on. I count and recount my life. I remember and just as quickly, I forget. I hold and just as quickly, I release. Like a still movie, scenes from my life pass before the closed eyelids of my emptying container. I leave and travel far away and then I come back. I hear you. I feel you. I am fading. Daylight has faded. The darkness around me is peacefulness and stillness and nothing and everythingness. Your voice chases my consciousness before you trail off and I cannot find you. My angel speaks for me now. My angel picks the thoughts to share and the ones to let pass as I fade off into eternity. As my wings unpack themselves and adjust from being my old legs…I am wobbly in flight. I teeter and crash about. I cannot find my feet because they have become my wings. My wings. I have wings! I have my wings!!!
It is surreal in here. Quiet and muted down. The outside world on the other side of the veil. The fear is all gone. The turmoil behind me. You though, you are still front and center. You, my three. You are still my everything as I fade off into nothing. Your faces are etched into my mind and so know this…even with eyes closed, I see your beautiful faces. My tears are for our parting. There is no more pain. The tears are for our parting.
The twitches are the lettings go. The eyes wide open are my brief returns to you. With eyes wide open, I let you know I am with you, faintly and ever so slightly and more than ever before. The angel closed my eyes from the inside the day she came, so fear not, I see you with my heart now. A day later, she muted out the light and all of the noise. Fear not, I hear you clearly with my heart. Any words you utter by your mouth or with your own heart…just know that I hear you. The angel took my pain and breathed it back into the universe, to remind you that I am always ever close. I will never not be with you. My breath, as it leaves my body, surrounds you for always.
The signs that you have asked for are granted and if your eyes don’t see them, remember to close your eyes and find them with your heart. The angel has placed me in each of your hearts, before mine stops beating, that reminds you of my presence and my love for you.
You were so, so wanted. All of you, to me…so wanted. Such extremes to bring you here and so you must know that it’s so hard to let you loose. For me. For each of you. The quiet one. The pragmatic one. The lonely one. The sad one. The loyal and devoted one. The soft one. The lost one. The strumming one. The serving one. The praying one. The singing and signing one.
Sitting with you, sitting with me…as surreal for me as for you, to be so close and so far away. To love so deeply and completely and to know you know. I know you know. You know I know. We know.
Before I go from here, another kiss, another laugh, another chat, another memory or two or ten, another song, maybe another night of strumming and a few more tears…a lot more laughs…many more smiles and unbroken bonds formed with the angels.
There is this place in between, of rest and reflection…of contemplation and readiness…rest and watching yourself from above. A place of everything and nothing. All and none. Here and there. Us and us. Only us here. A place of peace that passes understanding. A place that really isn’t a place at all. This is where I am now, in this place that is not a place…in a peace…a peace that will very soon pass my own understanding…in a rest…being…releasing and embracing all at once.
Dennis and Tiffany and Tamarack…(I just sent something through Tam…Angel translates…)
Dennis, my love. You have fulfilled, beyond measure, our soul contract. I see you, behind this veil, loving me home, to rest, between contracts. Thank you. Thank you for epitomizing love, for being so kind to me now. I need it most now, and you know that most. Thank you. I love you in my soul and my body still senses your comforting touch and your gentle kisses. Be blessed. Be whole. Be happy. Play. Write. Play some more. Sing for me. Sing for the girls. Song for the world, for they are listening. Sing, for my soul will be searching for your song, for our visits together with your guitar. Play. Play. Play. Play me home to rest.
Tiffany….our soul contract…a tough one at times and immeasurably rewarding at others. True and real and steadfast. Rich and deep and passionate. Playful and fun. Serious and painful. Loving and kind. And not. I love you. I am so proud of you. I wish…I fucking wish…(Thank you angel translator) that I had said this to you, before I lost my voice…I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You. I am so humbled by you.Tiffany Dawn, I have been so served and enriched by your very presence. You are great things and you are doing great things. Great things will feed you and clothe you and serve you and carry you home to rest. Knowing you are great things is your answer. I love you. I feel your touch. With my heart, I catch your tears, as they mix with mine, as we bid farewell for now. Your signs are many…all things Robin, all things Disney and light and fun and childlike….and 🐸 frogs. I stole that one like I owned it 😂
Tamarack…my sweet and beloved soul sister, mother, child and confidant. My warrior and my princess. My goddess and my priest. My counsel and my keeper. My strength and my guidance. Mama. Mama. Mama. Oh…and my beautiful daughter. I speak your places in my life, this life, in order. You may cry. You may break. You have bent. It is time. You know your answers and you have determined your path. I will send them to you. Our soul contracts…for one is reaching fulfillment and the next is in the minds eye and pulling on heart strings. I, workout my voice my dear, often communicate better with you. Gentle one. Quiet one. Mistaken often for passive one. Radiant and beautiful from inside your soul, out to your skin, with soft eyes into your soul. Trusting and kind, always. My strength. My rock. My love. Ma. Mama. I love you Tamarack. I built my world, my body and my strength to bring you here. Go forth and do the same, what you must, to fulfill your dharma here and to spread the seed. I love you dear one. Be at peace and know that we have only just begun, you and I and them.
This morning’s blog was written by Robin Dyer, to her loves…who have fulfilled life contracts with her…Dennis, Tiffany and Tam…I am because you are. I love you. Know this…I am always right by you, in you and of you. Always, in always…mama.