Good morning everyone. I humbly ask each of you to spend some time in prayer with me this morning for our homeless community, for all beings less fortunate than we are, that they may feel our love. I wrote a prayer at the end of my blog and I ask you, if you’re so inclined, to pray aloud with me, with all of your love and positive intention, for those who need our prayers.
Happy snowy morning everyone! We are under blizzard watch until 6:00am tomorrow. We have been shoveling since 5:00am and have the animals paths dug out on one side of the property. Tamara is feeding now. I’m taking a quick break to blog and then we will continue shoveling. We have a couple of feet of snow and it’s been snowing constantly. The snow blanket it beautiful. I have fond memories of snow days when we were kids. As I sit here in the studio now, I am thinking of my little brother and how we used to play and play and play. Shawn was my very best friend and we lived in our own little world. We had such love for one another. I realize that we still do have that love for one another. I am so fucking thankful for this that I cannot even find the words. I love you Shawn! We could build quite a snow family in our yard!!! We used to scrape enough snow together for a small snow child…this is fucking epic!
I want to thank each of you who has reached for me during these very difficult holidays and the three year anniversary of my Moms passing. The struggle has been off the fucking charts for me since October. Actually, let’s be honest…the struggle has taken me the fuck out for almost three years now. I am ready to live my life. I am ready to laugh and sing and dance. I am ready to embrace those who embrace me back and to move away from those who do not. I am ready to write. I am ready to learn to play guitar…a lifelong dream of mine…bucket list for me. I am ready to celebrate five years of sobriety next week. I am ready to fall in love with my girl all over again. I am ready for new relationships with each of the animals here, especially our dogs, as I learn that I do not need to control them. They do just fine without my micromanagement. They have their own dreams and desires and wants and I’m ready to step back and let them be themselves. I am ready to be financially comfortable and secure. I am ready for long hikes with Tamara, snow shoeing and inner tubing…laughing until it hurts and then laughing some more with that beautiful girl. I am ready to wake up from the slumber that has kept me. I am ready to accept what I cannot change. I am ready to not take things personally…to not take you or anyone else personally. I am ready to be of service in any and all ways that I am able. I am love. I am ready to share my love. And so it is.
Wherever you are today, be safe. Slow down and take your time. Enjoy the beauty around you. Give thanks for the wonder and beauty that you are.
I ask everyone to stop what they are doing and to share a moment of solidarity with me, for the beings on this planet who have no food, no water and no shelter this morning. Please, with me, let us send them all of our love, by saying with me;
“God in Heaven, looking down, next to my mom and so many of our moms, please grace us with the angel of Fatima, that she may spread herself like a blanket, over those who need her warmth. God please shine down and grace those suffering and less fortunate, those freezing and without homes…without showers and running water…without food and without the love they deserve this morning. We close our eyes and we pretend they do not exist and God, we are sorry. We look away. We fail these beings, all of them, every single day, in so many ways. God, please right us in our hearts. Please help us to understand and to teach that we are all the same. We were each created equal and then we changed the fucking rules. We are ashamed of ourselves for ever believing that we were more than or better than anyone. We are not in action God. We are sorry only in our words. Please move us to action. Please inspire us to love everyone. Please teach us peace, so that we may know it in our hearts. God, for every single person, the thousands in my city, and for everyone displaced elsewhere God, I ask that you raise up their cries so that we cannot not hear them. We were born into white privilege and we are ignorant enough to think we are not. We have what we have largely based upon the soil we were born on. We are not better than anyone else. Please remove the illusion that we are any more in any way than any other living being. God, many of us don’t believe in you at all, and we just want to throw that out there. Please find your way anyway, to soften our hearts to love. Every homeless person, and there are so, so many…God please touch them that they may feel you and not give up. We aren’t moving quickly enough and so many of our brothers and sisters are suffering and dying before we can reach them. God, please place those of us in action, in places where we can be of more help. Please guide us to more resources. For this moment though, for each suffering and broken and tormented soul who has not known our love, please God, guide us to them, that we may love them. Please break us down so that we may humbly build from the bottom with them, a foundation as solid as the one we were gifted. God, please hear our cries. God, please soften our hearts. God please help us to help our brothers and sisters. And so it is.”
Have a beautiful day everyone. Thank you for praying with me this morning. I love you. Please allow everyone, everywhere to feel my love this morning.