Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

A brief visit from our sister Robin this morning….

Good morning everyone. I really don’t have a lot to share right now. I am horribly saddened by the state of affairs in our world. Senseless killing and so many people wishing they were not here…angry words and disposable friendships and families. Violence and hate being spewed from even the mouths of babes. Man, I’m fucking disheartened and sad about the way we treat one another. I am sad to be so unable to understand the world I live it. I have always felt that I am in this world and not of this world. Days like this, I feel this even more so.

I know I’m here to help, to be of service and to do life solid, by giving my very best. I really do try. I am way better at solving your problems than I will ever be at handling my own, and I am working on that. I am seeing so clearly that I can’t fix you. Hell, I obviously can’t fix me either. I show up where I am called and I often stay too long. I stay where I’m not appreciated or wanted or acknowledged. I show up excited to be a part of a world that you never even prepared space for me to be in and then I wonder why it feels shitty to be trying to be in it. It’s not my fucking world and this in not my circus and these definitely are not my fucking clowns!

And so I regress. Truly, on all things. In all situations in my life right now, I regress. I pull myself back and out. I pull myself up and out, and I pause, on everything. I am at a stand still on everything in my life…holding pause, turning within. I get to going so fast sometimes into and toward things that don’t feel just right to me, thinking this will right itself eventually. I see the error of my ways and I stand down and pause in my life, for a spell, to re-evaluate and to reassess my current situation. Big life decisions are on hold for me until at least October as I really take some time to feel how I feel and to end up where I belong. I’ve an offer in in a space that was accepted and then I realized that I’m not sure what I need the space for right now. So, right now, I slow my roll and pray and meditate a lot. For today only, I realize that I am right where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. If the space is available in October and the clients are getting referred and booked, I will look again, into space outside of my current operating system. For now though, I have decided to work on the studio and to work on myself. I have decided that I prefer to lie kind of low and to turn inward as I re-evaluate some things in my life that are calling out to me.

I pray for patience and understanding, for love and light and for the ability to be content and in gratitude, no matter what. I pray for guidance and illumination. I pray for peace and prosperity. I pray for tolerance and understanding. Most of all, I pray to not partner with, end up with, or to be tied in any way, to anyone who does not listen to me, talk with me and value me. I remove myself from all situations that are not mine. I take my energy from that which has no concern for me. I lift up my brothers and my sisters who are on the brink of giving up, that they back away from the ledge that is beckoning to them. I lift up the sick and the broken and the beat down Lord, that you restore us to your glory, to your will and to your vision. May we be instruments of your peace Lord. May we be instruments of your love Lord. MY we be in your light Lord, always, in all ways. And so it is. Amen.

And our sister Robin chimes in…

I haven’t been up here too long, looking down over all of you. I’m not really up or down or over. I am everywhere now. From everywhere, I see how nowhere that you feel that you are. I watch you scurry around in a tizzy, trying to make it all just right….trying to line it all up and line it all out. I see your master plans in front of you, for a rebuild that isn’t yours. I see an overhaul coming on a rig that you haven’t fired up and taken out in decades. I feel your frustration and I raise you mine. You aren’t living your purpose. You aren’t fulfilling your Dharma. You are an ass kissing fool my friend. You are far more worried about being liked that you are about being yourself. You are way too worried about stepping on toes. You pick up the phone for people crying wolf while you are teetering over your own edge. Knock that shit off already! Truly, if they can’t love you, out loud, like a verb, and be elated that you showed up at all, keep on walking sister. If their cries simply get heard because they are louder than your own, you best raise yourself an octave or two or ten. You are a lame sitting duck Coral Dawn. You are a lame, and I empathize and emphasize at the same time, with lame sitting ducks my friend. What does anyone need or want with a lame and sitting duck? What does anyone want or need with someone who doesn’t feel worthy or good enough? What does anyone have to offer outside of you that you don’t possess within you? You don’t need office space. That space needed you. That space needed your love and your energy and your gift…you never needed that space. You were to sit in Lotus pose and pray for your world for hours and days on end, for a world who didn’t even open the door for you to enter. This is your time to stop and realize your error and to leave this place that doesn’t validate you, inspire you and open space up wide for you. This is true if all spaces, all people and all situations before you. If a space has not been prepared for you, this is your sign to walk by in love without crossing the threshold. If you can’t get calls and texts back and answers that don’t feel like dragging the bottom of a lake, you are notifying the wrong people, to light you up. If it feels wrong, it is because it is wrong.

Thank you for stopping in Robin, and for the message for us all this morning. Thank you for the angels who light my path. Thank you for a partner who loves me no matter what. Thank you for the love and support and input of friends and family, at a time when clarity eluded me. Have a beautiful day everyone. I love you! Great to spend time with you this morning sister! I love you!

I believe in the good things coming!

Good morning everyone! Happy Friday! I have some amazing news to share!! I don’t have details nailed down or anything set in stone just yet, so I’m not saying much about it. I am, however, in the process of some huge changes in my life and my career path!

My life purpose work began in 2008 when I decided to go to massage school. I literally quit my job, enrolled in massage school and began again, after being in the restaurant and bar business my whole life. One night of too much violence, ending in death downtown and I walked away from it all. It wasn’t even a leap of faith at that point, I was running as fast as I could, away from a life that no longer fit me or served me or nourished me. Fast forward a few years later, to the day I gave notice at the vets office I was working in, to go out in my own with my work. I was scared to death and without a sufficient client pool. I was never so scared and so I closed my eyes and I jumped. Fast forward again, to the present, and I am about to jump again, into the great unknown. I have been calling for change and space and clientele. I have been manifesting space and people and love. My friends, we are at another threshold! We are embarking on magnificence in these moments! I will be opening up office space in the very near future, so that I may be of service to more of you. My office hours will be limited at first, as I navigate this new terrain. I know that my gift is needed in more abundance.I hear the universe and I am moving to meet her. I will be taking both canine and human clients, new and existing, on this amazing journey with me! I can already feel the slots filling up and so I am diligently working to have myself up and running a couple of days a week, in office, by September. I will be able to offer studio sessions both at my office space and in studio space at my home! So…with all of my love, I offer you, me! Stay tuned for details!

With that being said, I am definitely turning my life’s tide here. I wake up some days feeling like I just cannot go on at all. I feel like I’m lacking purpose and motivation and the drive I need to propel myself through this sludge of procrastination. Most of all, I am learning that I am afraid of my own success. I am self-sabotaging in situations that I know I’m destined to be in. This office space is epic, in that it’s a blank slate, just waiting to become whatever I make it! The energy is amazing and the space is spectacular! I am so ready for all of the good things coming! I can’t wait to take you guys with me! I will be partnering with the most amazing people in my field and with one of the most inspiring human beings I have ever had the privilege of meeting! Stay tuned for the amazing things opening up for all of us!

With that being said, I will be switching gears and shifting a lot of my focus to manifest my dream in the coming weeks. Please send love and light and abundance…and most of all, all of your love.

I need a couple of people who can help me to take down an existing wall and put up a wall in this space. It appears to be pretty straightforward and yet, way out of my own skill set. If you can help me, please send me a message. 504-269-9242, so we can get that addressed as soon as possible. I thank you in advance.

Have a beautiful day everyone. All of my love. I’m off to great things and to be with my beautiful girl!

I loving memory of my friend Taffy…

Good morning everyone. Happy Monday. Over the holiday weekend, I lost one of my dear clients and friends. Taffy had to take his walk across the rainbow bridge on July 5th and is terribly missed here. This morning I dedicate my blog to Taffy, Lily, Rod and Nicole. Happy Independence Day beautiful boy! We love you and miss you so much already!

Rod, Nicole and Lily have written this beautiful piece for Taffy and they said I could share it with all of you this morning.

This is what they had to say about their beautiful boy;
We adopted Taffy, a senior whose owner had passed away, in December of 2016 from Top of Texas Corgi Rescue. From the moment he joined our family, his energy and love of life were always present. He loved to run across the fields chasing his dad and nipping at his calves, Corgi style. After a few months, we knew we had gained his complete trust and acceptance when he finally let us kiss him on the forehead, something that we did every single day after. We spent the next year and 8 months spoiling Taffy and his sister Lily. Going to the park three times a day, snuggling on the couch, and taking trips in our camper, even going all the way back to Pennsylvania. He was a joyful soul even as we started to notice a slight stumble when he walked. Later we would discover that he had degenerative myelopathy DM and intervertebral disc disease IVDD. As we started making adjustments for how our life was going to change, buying him a stroller, a cart and a wagon for moving around in the house, he didn’t seem to be at all affected by the changes in his body. In September of 2018 we went to Salado, Texas to get him hyperbaric oxygen therapy to help with the IVDD. When he was examined by the vet before his first treatment, she noticed two large masses which had appeared almost overnight. We immediately left the next day to go to our oncologist in Santa Fe who recommended surgery. The following day Taffy had his spleen and one kidney removed and the diagnosis came back as hemangiosarcoma and we were given 3 to 6 months.  We were devastated but determined to prove the surgeon wrong and Taffy was definitely up to the challenge.  He slowly regained his strength but not his ability to walk. We will probably never know what happened during surgery, but he was never able to use his back legs again. We continued to have hope that he would regain the use of his legs and did everything to help. After his recovery we took him back to Salado where he received 10 Hyperbaric treatments. When we returned to Las Cruces, we started him on Electro acupuncture, hydrotherapy, electrical stimulation treatments, Reiki, energy work and lots of physical therapy. Taffy was showing some moderate Improvement but when he went to the oncologist for his monthly exam in April we discovered that he had another large mass measuring 4 inches in diameter that had appeared within a month. Knowing the aggressive nature of this cancer, we decided to stop all of his treatments and accept the fact that he would remain unable to walk. After all, he didn’t seem to mind one bit. He was living in the now and we were worrying about the future. We decided we would just let him be a couch potato if he wanted or an explorer and adventurer too. We continued to take him on long walks using his sling, because his front legs were still strong. His dad would always push the stroller just in case Taffy got a little tired, which started happening more often as the months progressed. We were so focused on treating his cancer that it was sometimes easy to forget that he had DM. We were 10 months post diagnosis and he was keeping the cancer at bay while the DM marched relentlessly through his body making him weaker and weaker. For the last 10 months of his life, Taffy never left our side. He went with us in his stroller to restaurants and grocery stores,  home improvement stores  and  gardening centers. He even went to the gym with us once. And everywhere we went,  he made people smile. 
He let us know on Independence Day when we were camping at City of Rocks, that he was ready for his rebirth. We granted him his wish the following day as we held him in our arms and told him how much we love him and that we would never be apart. We pictured him flying across the Rainbow Bridge just as he used to fly across the fields here with us. 

Taffy never gave up and joyfully accepted everything we did for him. Taffy returned all the love we gave him tenfold. When his little body could not sustain itself any longer, he knew that he could count on us to show him the ultimate expression of our love for him. We will hold you close in our hearts little boy until we hold you in our arms again. All our love to you Taffy, now and forever. ❤💚💜💛💙
What a beautiful tribute for Taffy! Thank you so much for sharing your heart with all of us. Run free sweet Taffy. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and part of your world. Please stay close to Mom and Dad, as they are heartbroken without you.
All of my love Rod, Nicole and Lily. I love you guys so much! Thank you for sharing Taffy with us this morning.
Could everyone please take Rod and Nicole and Lily in your arms today and lift them up? Surround them with your love and light today and always , as they find their new way without Taffy. Hold them close. Lift them up and love them through. That’s how we do it! That is how we will always do it in the healing room. Have a beautiful day everyone! Thank you for being here and for loving Taffy. I love you! Blessed be sweet Taffy! Run free my friend. Run free sweet boy!

I am Quitting my past cold tofurkey this morning!

Good morning everyone! Happy Sunday! I began writing about a shift I had yesterday…an epiphany…an awareness, an awakening and an acceptance that came to me yesterday morning, for which I am so grateful.

Good afternoon beautiful people! I’ve a few moments before an EPIC studio session coming in and I’ve some great news to share with you all!! I was looking for an 8:30 am A.A. meeting this morning on Rio Grande to start my day off right. Early, as most always, I looked and looked and looked, to no avail for the meeting. I even went into a salon and asked if they knew where the address was. My experience in there was pretty typical…eye-rolls…you’re in the wrong place….and they had no idea where my meeting was. I was discouraged for a moment, as I stepped back outside to start looking again. I looked at my car, Big Book in hand, I chose to sit on a bench nearby and to have my own meeting this morning, instead of leaving all together. I thought I would read Chapter two, as assigned by my sponsor on Monday, and so I did. I read chapter two. I sat a spell longer and I reflected on something Wayne Dyer said. I am on an “All Wayne, all the time…” kick right now, as I need a spiritual kick in my ass. Wayne has never not given me that when I’ve called for it and today was no exception. Today Dr. Dyer was talking about quitting our pasts cold turkey, so to speak. Like right here and right now…just drop it. Somehow, today I heard it and I got it and I’m so fucking grateful for that. Drinking…I quit cold turkey. Smoking…cold Tofurky. My past, beginning today…I quit, cold Tofurky! Truly, I got it today…what all of you have been saying all along. My family doesn’t want to be with me. My past is behind me. My mom is dead, God rest her precious soul. I am here and I don’t need anyone who doesn’t want me in their life in their life. Not anymore.

Something lifted and shifted for me in those moments on the white bench, right around the corner from the AA meeting I missed. Something released and let go and I realized that I am okay. I became aware of a family that simply never wanted me to be in their family. I became equally as aware that I do not want to be their family either. I have hurt over all of this to the point of nearly ending it all. I have pursued these people to the ends of the earth for my whole life and it is finally finished. Yesterday, sitting all alone on that bench, I accepted who I am and where I am at in life. Yesterday I let go of my wants and needs and desires. I released my expectations and I just let it all go. As people came in and out of the Seasons, I released the memories of Mothers Day’s long past. I let it all just drain right out of me, right then and right there. All of this self-loathing and pathetic begging and wanting for something so long gone and far away from me…I just stopped. I just stopped wanting. I just stopped crying and hurting and needing the thing I thought I needed most.

Yesterday it felt pretty surreal. I awoke this morning and realize that I am still okay. This morning, I’m not grasping for my past. I am not angry or hurt or concerned about all that has plagued me. I’m not agitated or crying. I just am. I am so grateful for this revelation. I know that it is the sum of all that each of you have said to me all along…the words all finally fit together and made sense to me. The words that finally tied the bow on this little package came from a friend who told me, simply and very matter of factly, that my family simply doesn’t want me. What an astute observation. Truly. I missed that. I couldn’t even begin to fathom it and I guess the truth is often like that, isn’t it? Right in front of my face all along , and still so far from obvious to me, was the truth. So, this morning I am grateful to wake up here alone, without trying to attach myself to anyone or anything anymore. I am thankful to be a lone wolf and not merely tolerated. I have taken the pack off of my back for once and for all. I am done here and all of this is finished. It is a bit surreal to stand here by myself this morning, looking all around me. It began to feel a little empty until I realized that I’m not empty. I’m simply making room for those who have made room for me. There is a lot of room now and I am looking forward to the journey. For those of you who stayed and waited for me to come to my senses, thank you. I know you have all been patiently waiting for me to simply turn around. I know that you are my family and that you have chosen me to be so. I’m sorry I kept you all waiting. My tribe has assembled and my people have spoken. It is finished.

As I stand here and take one long, hard and last look around, and as I pack all of my trash to pack up to move out, it is so barren, so desolate. Don’t worry you guys….this is the last time you have to busy yourself when I stroll by, in an effort to not exchange words. I’ve no words left. I’ve nothing at all left for this place or for the people who occupy it, except for all of my love in parting. I am leaving for us all. I am going for us all. Most of all though, I leave here for me. I accept what I couldn’t accept all along and I say a prayer of thanks for all of the lessons and the blessings I have acquired here. I shall not pass this way again. Not in words nor deeds, not in death nor in life…shall I pass this way again.

For all of you who have known me for so long, I am here to let you know that the letting go has taken place. There is still some pain and as it lifts, I don’t want to talk about my family of old anymore. I don’t want to swim in this pool of pain anymore and I don’t want to inflict anymore pain either. I am simply walking away. To each and every person who has journeyed with me, thank you. To my mom and Dad, thank you. To myself, for finally knowing my own worth, thank you.

I stand here in the sun awhile, as I reflect on where I’ve been, before I head to where I’m going. I vow to not look back. I vow to seal the vault and to not return to this place again. This truly is finally finished. Walking away this morning, I know that I am saving us all, for our work here is done together. For all of those lessons, most especially the ones I now claim as blessings, I am so thankful.

As I finally turn around, I see all of you waiting with open arms for me. Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me to get it. Thank you for not giving up on me.

I am somber this morning, for I feel that I m at a funeral, laying to rest my entire life and all of those I’ve loved. I mourn as the caskets begin to close and lower into the ground around my mom. My family has forsaken me and I have forsaken them. I bury my past and all of its sickness and dysfunction this morning, I thank God for another day. This service is over and we are all free to depart from here and resume our own lives. All of my love family. All of my love and no more of me here anymore.

For a while I may not want to speak of my life before now. For a while, I just want to be silent and to learn what I don’t know. Thank you all for loving me through the most difficult task of my entire life…letting go of that which no longer serves me.

For all that I am not, there is much that I am. For all that you are not, there is much that you are. For all that we can no longer be for each other, let us go and be for someone else. This life is too precious and too short to spend one more moment in my past. Cold Tofurkey this morning, I quit my past! And so it is!

I have had the most epic studio sessions in the last couple of weeks! Yesterday was no exception. I am able to offer one session this coming week if anyone is in need. I’m still getting some things squared away in my life and will have more time soon. For now though, if you need time with me, please PM me as soon as possible so I can prepare a space for you. Thank you to everyone who has scheduled. My time with you in studio session heals us both and I am so thankful for this time with you! Thank you.

Have a beautiful Sunday everyone! That is exactly what I am going to do…I am going to go enjoy my new life! All of my love today, to each of you.

My name is Coral and I am an alcoholic.

Good morning. I’m sorry I’m so distant. The struggle is real and I am just finding my way through it. My life is in the serenity prayer and daily meetings as of late. I am blessed to have a sponsor and a meeting to chair to keep me coming back. The rooms are the most welcoming and inviting place for me to be right now, as my life has become unmanageable. The rooms are where I belong if I wish to stay out of the abyss that has taken me before, in times like these. The rooms are my safe zone and that is where you will find me until I’m strong enough to make it on my own.

I am so thankful, grateful and blessed to have my sobriety. Dry drinking though, has led me back to the meetings and the rooms and my tribe. Five and a half years sober and I got a desire chip yesterday, to remind me how fragile we all are…how fragile I am right now. Drinking is not the only danger in losing ones sobriety and ones self. For me, drinking does begin the downward spiral that I have fallen into so, so many times before. I know with all of my heart that I would not come out of it alive again.

I am so blessed with an amazing partner and so thankful for the gift of the rooms and my tribe. So thankful to my sponsor for swooping me up and taking me under her wing at this time. I struggle and yet I know how truly blessed I am. Thank you to each of you who carries me through. Thank you for your love me. I love you too.

I cannot explain the place I am in right now, other than to say again that the struggle is real. To each of you struggling, I love you. To each of you loving me through my struggle, thank you. Have a blessed and beautiful day today.

If you would like to, please pray with me this morning:

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen

Happy Saturday!

Happy Saturday everyone! I hope you’ve an amazing weekend planned for yourselves. I am getting ready for clients and so my weekend is off to a good start so far. I am so blessed with such amazing clients and my work is not like work at all, which I am so thankful for. I am pausing while Tamara is down and so I’m sorry I’ve not been as available as I like to be. My schedule will open up soon. I am actually offering some Sanctuary studio sessions outdoors. I have been working really hard to create space for healing sessions out in nature. I call them “our secret gardens” and they are throughout the Sanctuary. These spaces are being created with healing energy portals and they are highly sacred and charged to heal. So…some very exciting news on the horizon on that front.

All of the animals are doing very well. They sure do miss their momma Tam while she is healing. Tamara is integrating back in and everyone is taking care of each other. We feel blessed beyond measure for the life we live up here on the mountain. We thank you for your love, support, and all of your reaches. We feel you and we thank you and we love you.

If you are interested in a healing studio session with me out in the mountains, please get in touch with me. I am putting together some great material for our healing, and I look forward to hearing from you. Spaces are limited as Tamara heals and please know I will always make time if you need me.

Lots of reflection lately and lots of things to look at and feel and work through in my life. I have been struggling for so, so long. I know many of us have been struggling for so, so long. I know my purpose for being here is to love us home and I’m just now learning how to love and that I fucking suck at it. How can you suck at your own life’s purpose? I know, right? Very discouraging for me to learn that I am an unlovable and loveless lover…simply because I don’t know how to love. This is true. I do not know how to love. The love I learned wasn’t so much love at all. I am teaching myself to love the way that love feels right to me. I am learning to love and I want to invite you to learn and teach love with me. That is why I am here and so I am looking forward to becoming a good lover as I learn to love me and you and everyone else just a little better than I did yesterday. Love is a word that has been used and misused…misguided and abused…hurtful and pointed…those things are not love. Love is an unconditional place…an accepting and warm and inviting place. As I create this in my life and my reality, I cannot wait to share it with all of you! We all deserve to learn how to love and be loved, and so if you are down for it, I invite you on this journey of love with me!

For today, I begin by praying for grace, mercy, peace and understanding in my life, and that above all, I may be those things and offer those things for others today. For today, that is enough. I love you. Have a beautiful Saturday!

Let us be the love today. I dare you!

Good morning everyone! Happy Friday! All of my love to all of us for getting through this work week!

It was nice to get out for a bit last night. It was nice to see some of the people I’ve not seen and to catch up and laugh with our friends. It was nice to support our friend and her amazing work in the world. We are so blessed and I am so thankful.

They found a deceased body down the road from us and I cannot stop thinking about it. Life is so fucking fragile and yet, we’ve so little regard for it. A dead body…someone’s someone is fucking dead. My heart fucking screams and cries out in anguish. Who in the fuck do we think we are and what in the fuck are we doing to one another? Dead and tortured and traumatized bodies…dumped out here in God’s country, like there’s really any hiding anything. Integrity is what we do when no one is looking and guess what? Someone is always looking. I hear people upset that our Alexa devices can be recording us and that our computer cameras and our phones are spyware. I do not doubt this at all and yet, I’ve really nothing to hide. Recording me could bore a poor soul to tears for sure. And yet, we fear these things because we think I and we feel that someone is watching us. Why in the fuck aren’t we watching us? Why aren’t we watching our mouths and our actions and our tempers? Why aren’t we living in integrity enough that it really wouldn’t fucking matter if someone is recording us or watching us? Integrity…it’s what we do when no one is looking. If we are always in integrity, we wouldn’t have to be so fucking paranoid, would we?

We have an illusion that we can hide from others and mostly we think we can hide from ourselves. We lie to others and to ourselves and we wonder why we cannot trust. We are not fucking trust worthy. Look at our world and how we operate. Look at the deception that we surround ourselves with and then tell me what Alexa could tell me about you. What goes on in your home that you don’t want others to know about? Therein lies your problem…not with Alexa or the person listening in. The issue lies in many places, doesn’t it? Privacy being violated and secrets violated. How does this happen? We need to know that it does happen and we need to act in accordance with our higher selves. Who are you when no one is looking? The truth is…that is who you really are. Do you like this person? Would you be seen in public with this person? I’m just sayin…we have to start being honest with ourselves. We have to stop thinking that we are actually hidden when we are hiding. If you wouldn’t say it to me, don’t say it at all. The things we say in the privacy of our own homes, to our partners…those things are out in the universe and they matter. Once the words leave your mouth, they are not sacred or private anymore…for you have shared them and the universe acts in accordance. Whether or not your partner violates your trust…well that is an entirely separate issue. I’m just pointing out the fact that we are spewing shit all over the place and then we wonder why we are covered in shit. Just something to ponder. If the Alexa in your house started talking to me…what would I learn about you?

We all have a choice to write our own stories. Let’s start writing some uplifting and inspiring stories. Let us lift each other up and love each other home. We must know that we are not so hidden and we are not so private, that our true colors won’t eventually run through. Be mindful. Be kind. Be love. We cannot afford anything less than all of our love.

Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you. Let us be the love today! I dare you!

What would Jesus do on Easter Sunday?

Good morning everyone. Happy Easter. Easter was a super important day in our family growing up. Church and Easter brunch…gathering with friends, the Easter bunny and hiding and finding eggs for hours. The resurrection and the meaning of this day. For me now, Easter is different. Easter, like other holidays is another day. We don’t eat or color eggs because they are not ours. We aren’t up before the crack of dawn to get to sunrise service. We do not gather the congregation and dig a hole in the ground and roast a pig that was alive a couple of days ago, to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. No, Easter is different for me now. My life is different for me now. Bunnies and baby chicks and pigs are not exploited for me to celebrate my beliefs. My beliefs have never made me a better person. My actions have made me a hypocrite to some and a saint to others, at times. At the end of this day though, just like any other day, Easter is in our hearts. God doesn’t give a fuck that you show up to church on Easter Sunday when you go virtually Godless for the rest of the year. God doesn’t care about the cross you carry today, he wants to know what you did with the cross you were crawling upon when you got distracted by that ego of yours again. Easter Sunday is yet another opportunity for us to realize that we are all walking each other home. We miss that, don’t we? I find it a difficult imagine to conjure up…Jesus picking out the perfect pig to slaughter, gathering up the rabbits and baby chicks and wishing them all a happy Easter before he wacks their fucking heads off…as he moseys up to the cross to meet his fate, so that we may all be forgiven. I’m just saying…parts of the story have a nice ring to them and parts of the Easter story are fucking horrifying. Our spirituality is like that, isn’t it? Some of it…we have nailed down and know it backwards and forward and inside out and upside down…and some of it, well it’s not even a fable…it’s fucking utter bullshit. Our own bullshit, that we cannot even sell in a nice little Easter Basket on Easter Sunday. God is in the details. God is in you. You are God. We are not separate from all of this. We are not outside of our spirituality looking in. We are out spirituality. We are our God and we show others who God is through us. Easter Sunday, all dressed up and looking dapper as hell…don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget why you are here. Don’t throw Jesus back up on that cross for your sins…how about you atone and stop fucking sinning? How about you look deeply into that mirror and ask yourself what Jesus would do. What would Jesus do? What would Jesus be doing on Easter Sunday? I mean if that matters to you…what would your homeboy, Jesus, be doing on this sacred and holy day? How about today, you go out there and do and be that…be who Jesus would be today. Do you think that Jesus would be slaughtering baby lambs for Easter dinner? Or roasting pigs in the ground? Do you think Jesus runs around gathering ovulations from chickens cloacas, to color and hide for the children to find? Do you think that Jesus has an Easter basket and eats peeps and chocolate bunnies? Does Jesus walk amongst a sea of white crosses and see his cross any differently than our crosses? Today and every day…what does your Jesus do that you want to model in your own life? What would Jesus be doing on this Easter Sunday? Let us all go out today and do that, shall we?

We have these sayings and we have these memes….we have these notions and ideas of things. We have these picture perfect pictures…pictures that we aren’t even in. Pictures that we don’t even recognize. The last supper…the twelve disciples…Jesus and his apostles…doubting Thomas and the Virgin Mary…Zachary and Zacheaus…This little light of mine and the church and the steeple…where are we in all of this? Who are we in this picture of divinity? We worship things outside of ourself and we wonder why we are not whole. We cannot and do not buy in to things that we are not a part of. So, I’m just curious…on Easter Sunday, does your worship include you? Does your story of Jesus have you in it? May I say that if not, you might want to take a look at that? In order to express your own dharma and your own divinity, you need to realize that your story, not Jesus’ story is why you are here. You have to jump up in that picture and you have to be the star of your own life. Jesus was the star of his life. He set an example for us to follow, to improve upon…to model…he never came here to make you invisible and unaccountable to your own self and those you claim to love, as you hide behind him and all of his glory. We all have our own cross to bear. We all have our own trials and tribulations. We all need some direction and some assistance sometimes. What would Jesus really be doing on Easter Sunday? How about we all go out today and do that? Just a suggestion…let us be like Jesus today. Being like Jesus will mean a different thing to each of us…as this is a personal journey for each of us. I would say that Jesus is a good start though…someone to model ourselves afterwouldn’t you? Like Buddha, And the thousand other names for God…let us not forget that we are our own divinity. We are the God within us. Let us not forget that when we go out I to the world today, okay? What would Jesus be doing on Easter Sunday?

Happy Sunday. Happy Easter. Whoever you are and however you celebrateremember that we are all in this together, walking each other home…Jesus knew this. Today, let us be reminded of it as well…we are here to love each other home. Our resurrection will be the day we realize that and begin to live accordingly. Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you!

Just for today, let us all be love

Good morning everyone. I really am struggling to write as of late. I’ve got a lot going on that I don’t have any words for and a lot that doesn’t deserve words. I am in a lot of pain and thankful for the lessons. I know this too shall pass and I am looking forward to the day it does. In the meantime, hank you for your love and prayers. Thank you for holding me up and for loving me through.

In my dreams at night, I have been going through my files and deleting what doesn’t serve me. I am cleaning out my house. I am making room. I am clearing energy and rearranging my space. Purging and healing and falling apart…all so I can build me the way that I really am.

Life doesn’t wait for us. Life doesn’t stop until we catch up. Our past does not have to determine our future. In my case, my past had simply prepared me for my calling. As I suit up, I am grateful for the lessons that built this armor. I am grateful for the hell that opens me to my own divinity. I have no regrets. I strive to be free and to allow others their freedom also. I strive to let go and allow others the same freedom for themselves.

Sorting things out has taken me down roads that have broken my heart. I have seen and remembered things that I will never understand or forget. I must not stay in the darkness, for I am the light.

I know that to many, I seem like someone who I am not. To others, I am clearly who I am. To some, I am an open book and to some, I have become closed. I, like you, have unpublished chapters. I, like you, am just learning how to do this thing called life. Doing my best and showing up every day to begin again….and some days that’s all I’ve got.

There is so much hate and judgement…so much intolerance and abuse…and this girl just can’t look at all of it right now. Kids and animals being tortured, abused, exploited and killed…sick adults parading around as parents. And all of us, like what in the fuck do we do? How did this happen and how do we fix it?

We fix it with love. We heal with love. We come home to love. We will never get from here to there as long as we are busy pointing out the flaws in each other. We will never rise by stepping on top of each other. We will never succeed by pointing out other peoples failures. We must stand united or we will crumble divided. We just don’t get it, that we have missed the whole point of being here in the first place. We came here to grow and evolve and to love and to walk each other home. We did not come here to divide and conquer. We did not come here to separate ourselves and to color-code ourselves. We didn’t come here to fall apart. We came here to come together. We must set our weapons down and end the war that we perpetuate daily, simply by pointing out our differences, instead of embracing our similarities.

Don’t take my word for it. Look at yourself. Do you love, like a verb, every day when you go out into the world? Do you see yourself in everyone and everyone in you? Do you love with all of your heart? Be the change my friends. Be the change. We cannot change what was before us. We must change what is before us now though, if we don’t want to be who we have always been. To evolve is to wake up. To wake up is to know we have been asleep.

I hope you have a beautiful day today. More than that, I hope you do something to make someone else’s day beautiful. That is why we are here, you know? We are here to love each other home. Let us each be only love today. Just for today, let us all be love.

Kindness and compassion…it’s what’s missing…I’m calling up your love today…

Good morning everyone! Happy Wednesday. I come with a heavy heart this morning, to the healing room. Why are we so fucking mean and intolerant and judgmental? Why in the fuck are we throwing stones when we live in glass houses ourselves? Why aren’t we holding each other and ourselves accountable? Why do we feel that we have the right to destroy people who don’t think and feel and love and act the way that we do? What in the fuck is right with us you guys? Why are we always so hypersensitive to what the fuck is wrong with everyone? What is right with the most “wrong” person in your life? For all that each of us is not, there is so much that we are. Why can we not start loving each other up instead of tearing each other down?

I really want to dive into this today. We are a hot fucking mess. We are cruel, intolerant and fucking heartless and it is making me sick. We rape our own children. We beat our wives. We fuck around on our husbands. We berate our children. We torture our animals. We live amongst some sick mother fuckers. We are some sick mother fuckers. Wellness will not come by berating one another for being sick. Wellness will come when we start loving each other to wellness and wholeness.

I can look at you and your life and I can see all of the ways that you are “doing it wrong”. I can see how you could do it all better. Easy to see that in my shoes, what I think I might do in your shoes, right? Actually, it’s not right. It is utter fucking bullshit, to think that I can do you better than you do you. You and only you, can do you. I, and only I, can do me. We must begin to know this. What you think of me is none of my fucking business. I know this and yet, I still hurt at your words, at your action and inaction. This tells me I’ve much work yet to do on myself, and I hear that. I take things personally and so I learn not to. For me, it’s a slow process sometimes, to remind myself to think differently. My thinking is the root of all of my pain. And so, I am learning to think differently. This isn’t easy and so when I am out in the world, I am awkward a lot. I’m in here, working stuff out and you’re out there, judging me, like you’ve any fucking idea what I’m going through. I do that to you too. I judge you. I say shit I shouldn’t say and think thoughts that make me embarrassed to be me sometimes. I’ve learned to do this inside and to keep my lips closed. Sometimes though, I slip. In these moments, rest assured that I will tell you bluntly and exactly how I feel. I am flawed. I am a work in progress. I know that you are too. I thought we could help each other out here. Maybe we could lovingly hold one another accountable? Maybe we could lovingly and privately talk, with our actual voices, to one another, when we have something to say? Maybe we could say what we have to say to the person who we are saying it about, rather than to everyone else? Maybe we could use social media outlets to the greater good of us all, rather than to crucify one another for our “shortcomings”? Hey, I’m not you and I’m not for everyone. I know that and I get it. With that being said…if you can’t help me, how about you don’t harm me either? Truly, how about you just go your way and not upset yourself by being in my realm…don’t keep upsetting yourself, watching me, do all of the things that you don’t like to see me do. Why watch a shit show that you are only watching to throw more shit on? Just fucking stop, okay? Just stop being mean to each other. Just stop hurting each other. Just stop acting like you have any idea at all what someone else is going through. We have no fucking idea what storm someone is weathering or what heartbreak someone is enduring. We have no way of knowing how hurt someone is or how close to giving up that they are. We have no clue as to what has caused this kind of behavior or reaction. I can tell you that hurting and taunting and teasing and mocking someone who is already broken, is not only wrong…it’s sickening. If you cannot help them…at the very least, do not harm them.

My life is full of animals and a few human beings. There is good reason for this. Animals walk next to me and never drag me behind or run so far ahead that I’ll never catch up. Animals lick my tears instead of seeing how many they can inflict upon me. Animals love me unconditionally. Animals never say hurtful things to me. Animals don’t hate. If animals could talk, they would only speak love.

I have been seeing so much mean. I urge you to stop before you blow someone to shreds on social media, and ask yourself these things…1. Is it kind? 2. Is it necessary? 3. Is it true? Before you go clickety clicking away on your keyboard, the answer to all three of these questions must be “yes”. If it’s not, stop tying. Sit the fuck down and listen to your heart here. Do not speak if it does not pass through all three of these doors first. You may be right about everything you have to say. Here’s the thing though…your delivery fucking sucks! My delivery often sucks. I am not wrong and yet, my delivery of what is right cannot be heard at all. We must begin to remember that treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves, really is golden.

I get discriminated against a LOT. I get refused service a LOT. I get treated like shit on the bottom of someone’s shoes a LOT. I get discarded a LOT. Here is the good news though…not as much as I used to. AND, for everyone who has tossed me in the trash, someone else has found a treasure! You are like that too you know? You are a treasure. Know this though…so is the person that you just ripped apart to prove your point. You are not wrong my friend. Your delivery though…well your message has long been lost because of your delivery. I bring you today’s message from a one on one I had as a green assistant manager, early on in my career. “Coral, you are one hell of a manager. You walk the walk and talk the talk. Your expectations are high. Your message is spot on. Your delivery could use some fine tuning. Right message Coral. Wrong delivery.” This lesson never left me and I see that a few of you could benefit from it too, and so I pass it on this morning!

Be kind my friends and you will always be right. I love you. Have a beautiful day. Be kind to one another.