Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

What would Jesus do on Easter Sunday?

Good morning everyone. Happy Easter. Easter was a super important day in our family growing up. Church and Easter brunch…gathering with friends, the Easter bunny and hiding and finding eggs for hours. The resurrection and the meaning of this day. For me now, Easter is different. Easter, like other holidays is another day. We don’t eat or color eggs because they are not ours. We aren’t up before the crack of dawn to get to sunrise service. We do not gather the congregation and dig a hole in the ground and roast a pig that was alive a couple of days ago, to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. No, Easter is different for me now. My life is different for me now. Bunnies and baby chicks and pigs are not exploited for me to celebrate my beliefs. My beliefs have never made me a better person. My actions have made me a hypocrite to some and a saint to others, at times. At the end of this day though, just like any other day, Easter is in our hearts. God doesn’t give a fuck that you show up to church on Easter Sunday when you go virtually Godless for the rest of the year. God doesn’t care about the cross you carry today, he wants to know what you did with the cross you were crawling upon when you got distracted by that ego of yours again. Easter Sunday is yet another opportunity for us to realize that we are all walking each other home. We miss that, don’t we? I find it a difficult imagine to conjure up…Jesus picking out the perfect pig to slaughter, gathering up the rabbits and baby chicks and wishing them all a happy Easter before he wacks their fucking heads off…as he moseys up to the cross to meet his fate, so that we may all be forgiven. I’m just saying…parts of the story have a nice ring to them and parts of the Easter story are fucking horrifying. Our spirituality is like that, isn’t it? Some of it…we have nailed down and know it backwards and forward and inside out and upside down…and some of it, well it’s not even a fable…it’s fucking utter bullshit. Our own bullshit, that we cannot even sell in a nice little Easter Basket on Easter Sunday. God is in the details. God is in you. You are God. We are not separate from all of this. We are not outside of our spirituality looking in. We are out spirituality. We are our God and we show others who God is through us. Easter Sunday, all dressed up and looking dapper as hell…don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget why you are here. Don’t throw Jesus back up on that cross for your sins…how about you atone and stop fucking sinning? How about you look deeply into that mirror and ask yourself what Jesus would do. What would Jesus do? What would Jesus be doing on Easter Sunday? I mean if that matters to you…what would your homeboy, Jesus, be doing on this sacred and holy day? How about today, you go out there and do and be that…be who Jesus would be today. Do you think that Jesus would be slaughtering baby lambs for Easter dinner? Or roasting pigs in the ground? Do you think Jesus runs around gathering ovulations from chickens cloacas, to color and hide for the children to find? Do you think that Jesus has an Easter basket and eats peeps and chocolate bunnies? Does Jesus walk amongst a sea of white crosses and see his cross any differently than our crosses? Today and every day…what does your Jesus do that you want to model in your own life? What would Jesus be doing on this Easter Sunday? Let us all go out today and do that, shall we?

We have these sayings and we have these memes….we have these notions and ideas of things. We have these picture perfect pictures…pictures that we aren’t even in. Pictures that we don’t even recognize. The last supper…the twelve disciples…Jesus and his apostles…doubting Thomas and the Virgin Mary…Zachary and Zacheaus…This little light of mine and the church and the steeple…where are we in all of this? Who are we in this picture of divinity? We worship things outside of ourself and we wonder why we are not whole. We cannot and do not buy in to things that we are not a part of. So, I’m just curious…on Easter Sunday, does your worship include you? Does your story of Jesus have you in it? May I say that if not, you might want to take a look at that? In order to express your own dharma and your own divinity, you need to realize that your story, not Jesus’ story is why you are here. You have to jump up in that picture and you have to be the star of your own life. Jesus was the star of his life. He set an example for us to follow, to improve upon…to model…he never came here to make you invisible and unaccountable to your own self and those you claim to love, as you hide behind him and all of his glory. We all have our own cross to bear. We all have our own trials and tribulations. We all need some direction and some assistance sometimes. What would Jesus really be doing on Easter Sunday? How about we all go out today and do that? Just a suggestion…let us be like Jesus today. Being like Jesus will mean a different thing to each of us…as this is a personal journey for each of us. I would say that Jesus is a good start though…someone to model ourselves afterwouldn’t you? Like Buddha, And the thousand other names for God…let us not forget that we are our own divinity. We are the God within us. Let us not forget that when we go out I to the world today, okay? What would Jesus be doing on Easter Sunday?

Happy Sunday. Happy Easter. Whoever you are and however you celebrateremember that we are all in this together, walking each other home…Jesus knew this. Today, let us be reminded of it as well…we are here to love each other home. Our resurrection will be the day we realize that and begin to live accordingly. Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you!

My life either needs to end or my life needs to begin…

Happy Saturday everyone! I am so glad you’re here! I am struggling to be here and so I apologize in advance. I come this morning to shift my thinking and my attitude, that I spend my life in gratitude and in the present moment. I have done all I can do with what is behind me. I have tried my best and I know that everyone else tried their best too. When our best doesn’t feel good enough, it is a good time to remind ourselves that giving it all we’ve got is really all we’ve got to give. If that’s not enough…your best, my best, maybe we’ve just been giving our all, to the wrong people. Time to re-evaluate and to turn inward…the time is now to walk away from what does not serve our highest good. We have the right to leave. Especially when staying is only killing our soul and delaying the inevitable anyway.

On my long drive yesterday, I finally let it all go. I know things I wish I could not know. I feel things that have rendered me forever changed. I hurt in ways that most people will never know or imagine. I have endured betrayal so vile and destructive that I almost took my own life because of it. I am thankful to know the things I’ve come to know and I am also fractured because of this knowing. I am healing and broken in this knowing and I have no other way to be.

People tend to rip these wounds wide open a lot. With gaping wounds and salt in hand, people have taken advantage of my disposition. Words and ill intentions…judgement and ridicule abound, and I simply let it all trail off behind me yesterday on that freeway. I simply let it all go. Places and people and names and remembrances…judgement and regrets…fears and vendettas…I just let it all fade away behind me. It’s not gone and yet it’s not right here, debilitating me this morning. The nothingness of it all is unfamiliar to me. Most welcome, this nothingness. Thank you for the nothing that replaces my past, and locks it safely away, until a lesson is needed from the archives.

We all have our own vaults, where we archive our lives. My vault has been cleared out and condensed down. There is nothing here that I need to take with me now. The pictures I choose are in my mind and etched into my heart. The cards and letters…the memories I held on to, they shall be returned to the universe by fire. I take nothing forward with me from this era of my life. I leave it behind, where it belongs. I detach it’s hold on me and all of its power. I throw sage upon the flames and as I turn to leave, I throw you right up on top, to be returned and cleansed and healed. All of the love I have left for you…I throw that up there too, as I don’t carry it anymore. I will never deny it. I will not speak of it again though. I will not lay my eyes upon you or speak of you again. Our business is complete here and I bid you farewell. May God bless you and keep you. May he shine his face down upon you and offer you peace.

Yesterday I acted out a conscious decision to detach from the people in my life who have hurt me and harmed me…raped me and brutalized me…mocked and berated…hated and plotted against me. I spoke their names and I sent each of them on their way, cleansed and forgiven, free to be. I’ve no need to hold these things any longer. I’ve no place for this pain. I’ve no desire for relationship or closure with these individuals. I cut any cords that bind us and I release us from one another. Your energy holds no power here any longer, nor mine over you. We are free to be free from one another. And so it is.

I realized that my life either needs to end or my life needs to begin. The space in between has been excruciating and so I step out. I take my first step into my new life this morning, the life that I am here to live. My legs are shaky and my heart breaks a little, as I feel that you are really gone. Thank you for going. Thank you for finally letting me go. My life cannot be lived, it will only ever be painful, as long as you are in it. So, thank you for going and leaving me to people who want to love me. You are free to go. You and I are done here. Be well.

This concludes this morning’s blog and any relationship in my life that has caused me more sorrow than joy, more pain than happy and more betrayal than loyalty. I bid you all farewell. I wish you well. I am making room for those of you who actually want to be here. And so it is.

Just for today, let us all be love

Good morning everyone. I really am struggling to write as of late. I’ve got a lot going on that I don’t have any words for and a lot that doesn’t deserve words. I am in a lot of pain and thankful for the lessons. I know this too shall pass and I am looking forward to the day it does. In the meantime, hank you for your love and prayers. Thank you for holding me up and for loving me through.

In my dreams at night, I have been going through my files and deleting what doesn’t serve me. I am cleaning out my house. I am making room. I am clearing energy and rearranging my space. Purging and healing and falling apart…all so I can build me the way that I really am.

Life doesn’t wait for us. Life doesn’t stop until we catch up. Our past does not have to determine our future. In my case, my past had simply prepared me for my calling. As I suit up, I am grateful for the lessons that built this armor. I am grateful for the hell that opens me to my own divinity. I have no regrets. I strive to be free and to allow others their freedom also. I strive to let go and allow others the same freedom for themselves.

Sorting things out has taken me down roads that have broken my heart. I have seen and remembered things that I will never understand or forget. I must not stay in the darkness, for I am the light.

I know that to many, I seem like someone who I am not. To others, I am clearly who I am. To some, I am an open book and to some, I have become closed. I, like you, have unpublished chapters. I, like you, am just learning how to do this thing called life. Doing my best and showing up every day to begin again….and some days that’s all I’ve got.

There is so much hate and judgement…so much intolerance and abuse…and this girl just can’t look at all of it right now. Kids and animals being tortured, abused, exploited and killed…sick adults parading around as parents. And all of us, like what in the fuck do we do? How did this happen and how do we fix it?

We fix it with love. We heal with love. We come home to love. We will never get from here to there as long as we are busy pointing out the flaws in each other. We will never rise by stepping on top of each other. We will never succeed by pointing out other peoples failures. We must stand united or we will crumble divided. We just don’t get it, that we have missed the whole point of being here in the first place. We came here to grow and evolve and to love and to walk each other home. We did not come here to divide and conquer. We did not come here to separate ourselves and to color-code ourselves. We didn’t come here to fall apart. We came here to come together. We must set our weapons down and end the war that we perpetuate daily, simply by pointing out our differences, instead of embracing our similarities.

Don’t take my word for it. Look at yourself. Do you love, like a verb, every day when you go out into the world? Do you see yourself in everyone and everyone in you? Do you love with all of your heart? Be the change my friends. Be the change. We cannot change what was before us. We must change what is before us now though, if we don’t want to be who we have always been. To evolve is to wake up. To wake up is to know we have been asleep.

I hope you have a beautiful day today. More than that, I hope you do something to make someone else’s day beautiful. That is why we are here, you know? We are here to love each other home. Let us each be only love today. Just for today, let us all be love.

Look at the mirror before you and see the God within you….

Happy Tuesday everyone! I am glad we are here! Life kicked me square in the teeth and I have not been able to rise above it as much as I would like to. Pain subsides a bit and then it hits me like a fucking Tsunami. There really is no outrunning it or outsmarting it. We must just stay the course and allow its process. Your love and prayers sustain me and I am so very thankful for all of you. I aim to not be ambiguous and yet I will only say what I need to say to heal through all of this. My journey and my process as I learn to navigate my terrain…and I am figuring it out, healing and letting it all go. The undercurrents in my life have failed to pull me under…and yet, they remind me of exactly who I do not want to be. Staying above water has been a challenge and if you’ve been pulling on my fucking legs, you best be going now, before I rise up from this. I am beyond done dealing with people who hurt people, like it’s some sort of fucking hobby. I have chosen the word “undercurrent” and want to add that I could just as easily call it bullying. We all know that hurt people hurt people. We all hurt people. Most of us also know when to say when and move on though. Most of us have a filter that calls it long before it exacerbates itself. Bullies bully. That’s how they do it. I will not be bullied any longer. To stop being bullied, one must first acknowledge that they are being bullied. We use more appropriate words. We sugar coat piles of steaming shit! We cover for the ones triangulating our lives. We make excuses for the very people responsible for destroying our fucking lives! We must stop this. We must take our power back. Our power lies in truth. Our power lies in forward movement and momentum. Our power lies in the heart in our chest. Our power lies in our community. If we build it, they will come. We are our own power source and we have cut ourselves completely off. We are looking for power outside of ourselves and it will not be found out there. Power will only ever be found in here. We are only ever disempowered if we stop moving forward. We are only stagnant when we cease movement. We must know that we are all the pot and the kettle. We cannot claim one side, as though we have not ever been the other. To be better is to always admit that we have room to be better. Today, I will be better than I was yesterday. I hope that you will too. We are only ever competing with ourselves. Our demons and our mirrors are one in the same sometimes. Our angels and our mirrors are the same all the time. Our divinity is only ever clouded by our inability to see it as our own. Let us all see the God in us today…our highest selves in us today. Let us also see those things in one another. We have forgotten that we are here to walk each other home. We have forgotten to hold hands and to stick together. None of us is getting out of here alive, you know? Maybe we ought to live like we are living, instead of living like we are dying. Maybe love like we are living and not love like we are dying?

Today, I challenge each of us to only compete with ourselves, to only be better than we were yesterday…to see the mirror before us and the God within us and to make better choices. Just for today, can we all give this an honest effort?

Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you! Thank you for loving me. Truly, I feel you. Thank you.

If you can’t help them, please don’t hurt them

Good morning. Happy Monday everyone. I hope you had a nice weekend. I had a nice weekend. I have a nice life. I am blessed beyond measure. My struggle is not because my life is bad. My struggle is because there are such mother fucking atrocities and such fucked up and sick and twisted and un-evolved, unconsciousness surrounding me. My struggle is real because hurt people hurt people. My struggle is real because I would rather be a mother fucking liar than to accept some of the truth I have come to know. My struggle is real because so many people are not real. My struggle is real because the shame that covers me isn’t even mine, and yet, I must do the work to remove it. There have been many breaking points in my life. This one though…point break…this one fucking matters. This is going to determine the outcome of this game. This determines if we level up, lose another life or finally hit “GAME OVER” status all together. And let me just say this, I don’t do GAME OVER until it’s fucking over. It’s not over and I’ve plenty of extra lives saved up. I have spent my life mastering the skills that I will need to blow this fucking game sky high. Unfortunate for those who thought I crawled under a rock and fucking died, it will be to realize that the game is over. This game is fucking over. With the lives that I have saved up, the skills that I have mastered and the inertia built up inside of me, I will blow this game into non-existence. Life is not a game. Life is not to be manipulated and twisted and toyed with. Life is to be lived. My life is mine to live, as your life is yours to live. You’ve plenty to do over there, without concerning yourself with what I am or am not doing over here. What I am doing over here, is the best I can fucking do right now. What I am doing over here is rebuilding myself again. What I’m doing over here is wishing I was a fucking liar, while I find a way to swallow this truth. So, if you can’t help me out over here, please do me a favor and stay over there, okay?

Truly, I am not in a good place. I am not a ray of fucking sunshine today. I am not feeling the love. I’m feeling beat the fuck down and anxious and agitated and pissed the fuck off. I am at my limit and so I turn inward and wish you all a beautiful day. And if you can’t help them, do us all a favor and at least don’t hurt them, okay? Please…can each of us just commit to that? If you can’t help them…don’t hurt them either. Please.

A list of 20 things to make us better…and please send the Dyer family some extra love on this day…

Happy Sunday everyone! I am so glad you are here this morning. I am so glad I am here this morning. I have been battling a lot lately and this morning I was able to set it down, to be here with you. Lost and consumed by the struggle, I have so appreciated your love and prayers. I want to remind everyone of why I come here. I come here to write, to heal, to get it all out, rather than keeping what no longer serves me inside. I come here to heal. I come here to love. I come here for each of us, that we may heal and live a life of love and purpose. My life experiences are mine and I can only share them from my perspective…hence you being here, on my blog. You’ve your own experience and I honor that. No more than I would deny you your life experiences and your processes, do I appreciate energy and intention that deny me of mine. We have no idea what other people are going through…we need only always be kind and loving. If we cannot be kind…we really ought to be silent. I am flawed. I am human. I fuck up daily. I am wrong sometimes. I lose my way. I talk shit. I lose focus and balance and decorum. The thing is, we all do. We all fuck up. We all make mistakes. We all lose our moral compass from time to time. We may not know we have done so, unless someone tells us that we have done so. I came up with a list this morning to help us all. I give us twenty opportunities here to be better. I will be the first to implement this in my own life. I miss the mark sometimes. And so today, I began again and I do better. We can all do that, can’t we? We can all do better, so how about we do that? Let’s all do better today than we did yesterday. Let’s just start there. Here are some things that I believe could help us all, and so I share them and encourage you to make your own lists. Let people worry about themselves. Let people be. Work on you. And most importantly, if you cannot help them, no matter who they are, please do not harm them.

My Sunday morning list to help us all be kind today:

1. Be the person who tells the person and not the person who attempts to destroy the person to everyone else.

2. Be the girl who straightens the girls crown, and not the girl who tells everyone that it’s crooked in the first place.

3. Be the man who tells the man he’s a coward and not the man who rallies all the other men against him, to teach him a lesson.

4. Be the truth amongst the lies and the shelter in the storm. Be steadfast and honest and loyal.

5. Be brave and stand up for what you think and feel, especially when you are standing by yourself.

6. Be a friend that you would like to have. Be silent if you cannot find positive words to speak.

7. Know that “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to explain or justify yourself.

8. You are not always right and that is okay. This does not ever mean that you need to make others wrong. Your rightness does not depend upon my wrongness.

  • 9. When someone is really struggling and going through it, grab some of their load and give them a hand. If you cannot do this, leave them alone.
  • 10. If you have nothing nice to say, how about you don’t say it at all?
  • 11. If you aren’t out there doing it better, don’t criticize those out there doing it. We are here to learn by doing, not to criticize and critique behind our computer screens, those doing the actual work.
  • 12. If what is coming out of your mouth would hurt you, it is going to hurt the person you are talking about too. Think before you speak. If it hurts, don’t say it.
  • 13. If you’ve something to say about someone, say something to them. Don’t speak ill of them to everyone else. Be the friend you would like to have. Be a good and decent human being.
  • 14. Does it pass through all three gates? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? If it does not pass through these three gates, zip your lips until it does.
  • 15. We are all just walking each other home. We are all struggling. We are all wrong sometimes. We are here to help each other through it. Life is not a competition.
  • 16. If you aren’t going to get off of your ass and work for it, go out on a limb to reach for it or wake up every single day and do it, please stand out of the way of those of us who are.
  • 17. We all basically want the same things in life. We want to be safe and loved and heard and accepted. We should want that for everyone else too, if we are to ever have it for ourselves. We want it more for someone else and it comes to fruition in our own life experiences, because that’s just how it works.
  • 18. As much as we don’t want it to be true, there are people pretending to love us that are causing more harm to us in this moment, than people who openly admit that they hate us.
  • 19. Hate will only ever destroy anything it comes in contact with. Love is the only thing that will ever counteract the damage and ugliness that hate causes. Hate is fear. Fear is hate. Love is the only thing for these two ailments, which are actually one in the same.
  • 20. If you have something to say, and it passes all three doors, and you’re saying it to the person whom it’s about, we could begin to live in harmony right now. We perpetuate our own hell by being in other peoples lives and business more than we are in our own. Keep your own side of the street clean and don’t worry about the other side. If it’s not your circus, they are not your clowns. Set the circus and the clowns down and go find your happy.
  • This is just my list. I’m sure you’ve your own. Like I said, if you take nothing else from all of this today, take this with you…if you cannot help them, please don’t harm them. Today, I will be better than I was yesterday. And so it is.
  • If you would, please send all of your love to Robin Dyer’s family today. Robin left us last Saturday and her family is trying to find their new normal. We have all departed and they are all still having to come to terms with this loss and what it means to them. At this time, please surround them all in love and light. Lift them up. Hold them close. Love them more. Losing ones mom is no easy feat…and you will never suffer another loss such as this. If you’ve lost your mom, you know exactly what I speak of. If you’ve not lost your mom, you won’t know until you do. Either way, please take Tiffany and Tam and Dennis in your arms today and lift them up. Love them through this. All of our love to you all…truly…all of my love. I feel you guys today and I’m here if you need me. I love you.
  • Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday everyone and love the Dyer family a little extra today, would you? I love you!
  • Thankful for a good day!

    Today has been a beautiful day…a new day…a true day and I am grateful. Life has a way of being what you make of it and I’ve made a decision to make it fucking amazing. Thank you to everyone who reached out for me and checked in on me. My struggle is real and I will do all I can to overcome the adversity and survival mentality that overcomes me at times. Today was a good day and I am so thankful!

    I am off to enjoy an evening with my girl! Have a beautiful evening everyone! I love you!

    When we take what we need, we can begin to offer what we have

    Happy Saturday morning everyone. I am glad you are here. I feel better pulling myself off of social media for a bit. Everything feels so negative and heavy and unenlightened and it’s just a bit too much for me right now. The energy of it all drains me and causes me sadness and anxiety. And so, here we are, in the healing room. Thanks for being here!

    I am kind of existing in a certain sadness right now. There aren’t words for it. It just is. Reality became clear and my heart became broken and it really is that simple. I know we all feel this way sometimes. I am just finally letting myself just feel it until I don’t feel it anymore. Tossing and turning and not eating or sleeping…all signs that I have had a bit too much. These are the same signs that I ignore and push through most of the time. For me, for now though…I hear myself saying that I need to take a moment. I need to heal. I need to cry and let go. I hear all of you all of the time. I am finally screaming so fucking loudly inside that I hear me too. I must take what I need so that I am able to offer what I have.

    My journey with Robin and Aiden further opened me up to my purpose. My journey with you opens you to your purpose. That is why we are each here…to walk each other home. On our walk, let us not forget the people right beside us. Let us not be so fucking cliche and hurt the ones we love the most. We can stop doing this…we must stop doing this. Loving someone the most is not a license to disregard their heart and their feelings. Hurt people hurt people. We must break this cycle. If you’re hurting someone…stop. Truly, do what you need to do to fix yourself to stop hurting others. You really don’t have the right. Your excuses…well they are just that…they are your excuses. Your fucked up programming and your insufficient child rearing…your diagnosed disorders and your mental inadequacy…all legit and all yours to figure out. Society does not owe you and we do not owe you. You are going to have to pull yourself out of this on your own. Each of us has come to this place, where we are all we’ve got. Each of us are all we’ve got. Everyone and everything else is an illusion.

  • My life is a pretty open book. Our home has also been a revolving door. Our private life is in the distant past. Being on display has proven to be a bit much at times. The scrutiny and the rhetoric around who we are and how and what we do…the morbid fascination with us…it’s pretty surreal and unprecedented. We are here for the animals, and somehow, we fall under scrutiny for every little thing with the people. Strange dichotomy for sure. Learning to live this way is proving challenging at times. And so I find myself in constant prayer and meditation. I am pretty melancholy and badly beaten from the blows. I am not and I will not be broken though. The sadness from the inside is running down my cheeks. I feel like I’ve been in battle. I set my sword down, for I am weary and I need rest. The battle I’ve been fighting is only ever with myself.
  • The snow on the trees and the chill in the air…the darkness around me and Taos at my feet. The stillness overrides the undercurrents in my life that do not serve my highest good. The stillness finally overcomes me also. No time or words for the things that elude me…a clear reminder that they must not be my things. And so I set them back down. I was so caught up that I forgot to even notice that I picked them up at all.
  • As I learn, I grow. As I move forward, I regress. As I finally get it, I forget. As I try too hard, I am reminded to stop trying and to just be. The not taking shit personally though…fuck me running…For the life of me, I cannot yet see, how things with my name directly on them are not to be taken personally. Hence, a work in progress. Working every day to progress a little more, in the direction of my own soul and my dreams, to a world that chooses love.
  • Have a beautiful Saturday everyone and thank you for joining me here! I love you!
  • Calling up love for the Dyer family and Happy Birthday Regina!!!!!

    I have been blessed beyond measure. Truly, I have been. My hard days are less difficult and my good days are getting better and better. I’m coming back into myself a bit and I feel so blessed to have been journeying with Robin and her family for the past couple of weeks. Life is precious and death reminds me of that. Memories make and sustain us. Everything else…well, that’s just everything else. When we leave here, we cannot take any of it with us. So thankful for the reminder of that and so honored and blessed to be a part of the Dyer family. Please lift them up and hold them in prayer and in your hearts, as they navigate their world without Robbi. The days after are difficult and I encourage you to reach for them and love them and lift them up. When I lost my mom, the days after were almost surreal. Let us all take a moment to love them up and to remind them that we are here for them. They need us now. If everyone would say it with me…”We love you Dyer family! We are here if you need us!”…I would really appreciate it. We need people the most when we can call upon them the least. Please surround this family in love and light at this time, as they learn to live differently, to heal and to say goodbye for now.

    Today is the Birthday of one of the dearest and most angelic and beautiful souls that I have ever known. Today is my cousin Reginas Birthday. Please wish her a beautiful day and the happiest of Birthdays this morning, will you? My rock and my calm in life’s storms. The beauty in my ugly and the truth amongst the lies. A very piece of my own soul and an angel in a human body…my cousin. Happy Birthday Regina! Have a beautiful day my love! I will be celebrating you ALL day long!!!!

    In loving memory of Duncan and a 2nd writing from Robin Dyer…

    Good evening everyone. Thank you for all of the love and prayers. Duncan is greatly missed. Tamara and I are silent in our own grief right now. Tamara and I are blessed to do the work that we do. We are also destroyed sometimes, when we lose our best friends. Please send all of your love to Tamara and Samuel…today has been heartbreaking. We are devastated. Fly free Duncan, until we meet again. We love you and we are so grateful for our journey with you! Samuel keeps looking up for you. Could you let him know where you are and wrap your wings around he and Momma Tam tonight? Thank you my friend. Thank you. I love you Duncan.

    And, to my sister Robin…thank you also, sister for sharing your journey with me. You’ve a beautiful family sister and I feel both blessed and honored to be amongst you all during this time. This will be the highjacking of my blog…please welcome again, my sister Robin Dyer…

    It’s not like you would think you know. Death…dying. Leaving and staying. It’s not like you would think. It’s not easy or hard. It’s not fast or slow. It just is. The glimpses and the smells, the jolts that take you back…like nodding off while falling asleep. Death isn’t like you would imagine it to be, at least not for me.

    I am dying at home with my family and I am so grateful. I am in my final hours now. I am at peace. I am where I belong. I must die to live again and so I shall. Dying though, it’s not like you would imagine it to be.

    My angel uses my good hands and my old self to decide what needs to be said and what simply stays and what goes. I guide her to guide me home, my way. We will do this my way. I am an anomaly. I do it my way. I will die my way. I lived my way, did I not?

    My beautiful Dennis with raw fingers from strumming his guitar all night. My girls, like raccoons, with weary eyes and sleepy heads. Me, lying in the middle of it all, just taking them all in, one last time, before I go. I am going you know, on and in my time. I am here and I am gone. I am there and I am over here. I am under and over. Behind and ahead. I am everywhere and nowhere. I am at peace. I am tired. I want to be with my family now. I am thankful for my beautiful family. We know. We each know. I’ll not be far away. I’ll not be far away at all.

    This was written by Robin Dyer to her family this evening though the hands of her angel.

    Please pray for Tamara and Samuel. Please pray for Robin and her family. For Dennis and Tiffany and Tam, as they say their goodbyes. With all of our love tonight, let us lift them up and hold them tight in our arms. And so it is. Goodnight everyone. Thank you. I love you.