Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Nothing anyone ever does will be good enough for those who do nothing at all.

Monday ended and Tuesday began with Nahko Bear and Silly Sigrid…Tamara and stillness in the chaos. Our ears have been flooded with Enyas soft and soothing sound, as we soothe Nahko and tell her that Mala Bear has got her and we have her. Even Enya cannot mask the cries of her sissy up the driveway. An afternoon visit is surely in order. Nahko Bear sure does miss her sissy Mala Bear so, so much.

Nahko Bear has a king size bear bed under the drafting table while we take up residence down here for the next eight days. Nahko Bear has her follow up on Wednesday, March 13th and cannot go up stairs, (to our house/her house) until then. We have had five slumber parties so far. Last night with Silly Sigrid was like a late night tea party. Our studio is small for a Bear and two sillies and so I crawled into the baby bear den with Nahko Bear. What a beautiful night of intermittent slumber, in the arms and covered in the fur of our baby bear. This is a great way for me to literally work on her 24/7 and give her exactly what she and her healing body need. Right now she snores in peaceful slumber and my hear is full. Life with a baby bear is a blessed experience for sure. All of these moments worth other moments, as her life and her well being do depend upon us. I get that on a level I never got that so deeply. I hug Nahko Bear when she cries because her meds make her drowsy and render her unable to do her job. I get it…that horrible feeling, so I lie with her awhile and hold her and tell her it will be okay. Hearing Malas cries she feels far from home and I feel that way too, so we lie together in the home inside our home. We hold each other in the darkness and watch the world under the light at the bottom of the door. Nahko Bear and Silly Sigrid became fast friends and Nahko cried when silly left.

Everyone should be so blessed to have a silly friend who will come for slumber parties. Few know the love of a partner who truly means it when they say to take what you need. Tamara and I are living the dream. We really, really are living our dream. Bears in the studio…goats in the living room…pigs and dogs and cats…ducks and chickens and Hondo if he would only fit, all welcome as they need to be in our inner sanctum. Many, many of you…welcome in our inner sanctum…and you know what? That’s a lot. There are 44 souls in this space…not even accounting for the ones who roam and crawl and run and fly free here. Did you get that? Forty four souls…all in Sanctuary, all healing, all here for the best of the rest of their lives. Tamara and I are counted in those souls, as our souls presence here make possible the work here. I would kindly remind anyone who has forgotten and enlighten those who do not know, this is our home and when you come here, call here…well, we live here. If you can’t help us, we understand. I will ask and actually insist that if you cannot help us, that you not harm us either. Trying to help Nahko to heal or Duncan or Ahimsa…is very difficult when we are not well ourselves. So I ask that you keep that in mind in dealing with Tamara and I…we are living the dream here. Simply for that reason, we cannot be in your drama…any of it. We have so much responsibility here and we are so blessed. Everyone will be cared for, without exception. When we have fundraisers, it is because that is what we do as a non-profit, we raise funds to support the animals. Donate if it moves you to do so. Don’t donate if it doesn’t move you. I will always share our fundraisers and our events, as that is our life’s work. If it bugs you, don’t look at it. Easy Peasy, right? Nothing anyone ever does will be good enough for those who do nothing at all. Just keep that in mind and at heart when you speak. I’ve pondered it much lately…and this is how I feel. Truly…those of us doing something are often annoying to those who don’t have it in them to do anything of much at all.

I am down here with my thoughts, sketchy internet, no plumbing and a lot of time to heal and meditate. In this process and with Nahko Bear, Tamara and Silly Sigrid by my side, I will write a lot. As I wrote, I remind us all that I come here to heal. I write to get it all out, rather than keeping it all in. Please take what you need and leave the rest. My journey, intertwined into yours, and your into mine…we are one, you and I. We would do well to remember that.

Have a beautiful day everyone! I’m off to slumber with Nahko Bear in our sacred and healing space. Thank you silly for visiting us for pizza, tea and a slumber party! We love you! Nahko Bear misses you and sends her love.

Happy Tuesday everyone! I love you!

Waking up next to baby bear…

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday!

Nahko and I are getting the hang of this studio living! Last night was a good night for sure! Nahko went with Tamara and I yesterday to Santa Fe and she did great in the Jeep! We got home and she was so, so tired. Tamara and I got some time together and I am so thankful for that, as this has us seeing each other in passing. I miss my girl. Nahko is resting peacefully now and I am grateful. I know this is not easy for her…not being able to do her job and what not.

So Nahko and I spent our fourth night together last night in the studio. So strange how this blessing came disguised as a dilemma. So beautiful how life flexes and how we ebb and flow when we are willing to see things differently.

My life is in the process of examining itself a bit. My taste for things has vanished. My craving for honesty and integrity has intensified. My introspective is in progress. My desire to know me is burning. The time has come for me to release my past entirely, for all that it was and for all that it was not. All people and places…associations and traumatic triggers…all of the hopes disguised as expectations…all of the unrelenting pain…the disappointment and the disgust…all of the turmoil and trying to be someone I’m not…all of it…on its way out. People who help space and left gaping holes….released now, for once and for all. Dreams that amounted to only the days I spent dreaming them…releasing them now.

And so I turn within. Have a beautiful day everyone. I love you.

Slumbering with a baby bear in the studio…

Good morning everyone! Nahko and I had a much better night last night, as she was finally able to sleep, and so was I! We call Mala and Nahko the baby bears. They are so wonderful, so beautiful and so peaceful. Being in space with Nahko is helping me to come home to me. An unanticipated retreat into sacred space with one of God’s most beloved beings…I quickly came to the blessing and I worry not one bit about the inconvenience or the imposition or how we will manage 10-14 days of recovery. I decided to make this my most sacred and important task for the next two weeks. As I slumber with our baby bear in the floor of a studio gifted to me by my mom and dad before she left this world and he left my life, I thank God for Nahko Bear. As I listen to Nahko in the background, I thank God for Nahko, for he has inspired my journey and opened me to myself also. Meeting Nahko in Denver over New Years will always be one of my most beautiful moments. I love you Nahko. Nahko Bear is your namesake. I hope you don’t mind.

I rescheduled my week and we rescheduled our lives to be sure that our girl gets what she needs most…our love. Nahko Bear is teaching me how to love her so that I too can learn to love myself the way I need to be loved.

I am so grateful for the work of a beautiful Shaman who laid hands and energy on me and who helps me to unwind and see that I am perfect. I see you in my dreams, obscured and ever present as I change my thoughts my brother. I traded bodies and lives for yours for a brief moment so that I could see my own self clearly. Your eyes took me in and welcomed me to myself. In your eyes I saw my own. In our souls journey, you walked me into the depths of myself. I am forever grateful and eternally thankful to the man that I simply call “My Shaman”.

To my clients who are always so flexible and wonderful and home to me…thank you for seeing me before I was able to begin seeing myself. Thank you for flexing so that I can be with Nahko Bear as much as possible for the next two weeks, as we heal and journey home together.

Nahko thanks each of you for your love for her, as she is resting well and healing nicely. Nahko and Mala got to see each other briefly this morning. Seeing them miss each other and cry for each other stirs a lot of emotion in me right now. Feeling severed from my own family ties gives me empathy that I wouldn’t have otherwise had, and I am so thankful. We will do our very best to be sure that Nahko and Mala know that this is only temporary and that they are both safe and home. I didn’t get it, until I got it, that animals feel as we feel and hurt as we hurt…fear as we fear and cry as we cry. I am grateful to know now. I know better and I will do better and I am grateful for the insight.

Nahko Bear and Mala Bear…our baby bears and the Sanctuary guardians could really use all of your love while they are apart as Nahko heals. They both send you all of their love and thanks for loving them so, so much.

Have a beautiful Saturday everyone! We love you!

You are writing your own story. Make it a good one!

Good morning beautiful people! Happy Friday and what a day to make a different choice, wouldn’t you agree?

I went to bed with my body blessed by angels once again and I am so, so thankful! I went to bed next to the most amazing and beautiful girl in the world…my truest and dearest friend and my best confidant…my soulmate and my lover…the co-founder of a dream that we are building together…my anchor and my rock…and I am blessed beyond measure! I had a day full of the most beautiful and grateful clients, who pay me well and love me well and I am open and ready for some more clients like that please! I had a beautiful morning working with my colleagues, for the healing of one of our very own, and I am blessed beyond measure to be amongst such prestigious colleagues, who know and trust my work, to have me place my hands and my energy upon their best friends. I will always value and invite time like this, to give back to those who refer and share me with you, so that I can help you too and pay my bills. To everyone who loves me like a verb…thank you, and I am an open invitation for some more love like that please! My little brother and my sister checked in on me, as we have been most recently doing for one another and I will definitely have some more of that please! I had weekly tea with my very best friend, Sigrid, and I will always welcome more time and love and space and honesty and friendship, like a verb, like that, in my life! Coral and Sigrid tea time is nourishment and fuel for my soul on this journey and I am blessed! To all of these endeavors, I drove in the FJ Cruiser that I love and cherish so much, as Jesus takes the wheel, and my musical medicine blasts through the speakers, of the piece of my mom and dad that I have left, and I am thankful! I feel my beautiful and radiant cousin, Regina, in and around all of the good and positive and wonderful memories of my past and with me always on this journey and I love you so much cousin! Always, in all ways, I have room for love like Regina…thank you and more…yes please! I arrived home safe and sound at our Sanctuary in the woods, surrounded by all of my best friends…for they love me from wherever they are, to wherever I am, always and without fail or prejudice, and I am home! My health is good and getting better every day, in every way. “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” And I am so thankful for my life and for those who share this journey with me. Every day begins and ends in gratitude. Every day I am better than I was yesterday. And so it is.

This is the version of how my day ended and began that I am choosing to share and to focus on. These are the parts of my day that I am pulling out to give thanks for. These moments are my focus henceforth. These are the people I choose to rejoice in and to be grateful for, as are they for me, life’s breath. Everyone and everything else, that does not serve my highest good, I release! I stand in love and for, love in all things. I believe in love and I believe in each of us. I believe, with all of my heart in the good things coming! Thank you, my brother, Nahko, for your love.

Love is an action word and I challenge each of to truly grasp this and to know this and to live this! Love in action will open up your life!! Love in words…well, we all know what that empty and often loveless love feels like, don’t we? Where there is void, to be love in action and you will fill the void. Love in action is not always easy, as it is an action, not an empty mouth full of empty promises and lies. Action, being in action and of service…very different from choosing the “right” words, wouldn’t you agree?

We all make a choice every time we open, or do not open our mouths. I am choosing to keep my mouth closed in situations where I have nothing kind to say. In this silence, I pray for peace for those whom I choose not to open my mouth to anymore. I choose to whom I speak and to whose calls I heed. I choose whose words I shall open myself up to. I give myself permission to leave when I am done. I give myself permission to choose the clients whom I can help and to charge accordingly for my time and my services. I ask the universe to bless us all that we be synced together for our highest goods. I pray that we all feel the value of the relationship we walk into together. I pray that we each be served and valued for our life’s work and our contributions accordingly. And so it is.

Have a beautiful Friday everyone! You are writing your own story today. What will you write? Let’s write a with all of our hearts, shall we?

I found the remedy for my pain!

Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday! I had a rough night, full of nightmares and dreams of vomiting and running and vomiting repeatedly. The tears started as soon as I opened my eyes and I said hell to the fucking no! I am not letting this pain hijack me again today! I jumped into action this morning, with my new remedy for this pain. I know I have to change the way I am looking at things and so when I feel like this, I have committed to being of service in some way, to take me out of me. I will not be controlled by my fear and my pain, at least not today! I know the remedy for my pain is to be of service, to love and help others…to be love…to hug and smile and laugh and to share myself with you!

I came down to the studio to blog and to meditate. Somehow, I needed to do more. I received and email from Propeller yesterday and I finally opened it this morning, inviting me to volunteer on Andrew McMahons tour. Andrew founded the Dear Jack foundation to help young adults diagnosed with cancer. I disregarded it a few times and something kept pulling me back. I listened and I opened it and I applied to volunteer at his event in Aspen Colorado on March 10, 2018, for his Upside Down Flowers Tour. I always find myself wanting to do things like this and I rarely make the time. We make time for what is important. Loving and being of service and healing…those are all top priority for me right now. I am going to make the time, even though I could give myself a dozen excuses not to. I am important. You are important. Being of service to one another is why we are here. We must truly look at what is important to us and at what drives and heals and propels us, and we must take action.

My Mom died unexpectedly and very quickly of cancer, on December 3, 2015. I have not been okay since. My life literally went offline to a large degree, and has been such since. Countless hours at the cemetery and billions upon billions of tears. So, so much loss. So, so much unrecognized and unhealed pain. I have shaved my head for many, many years for people with cancer. My mom insisted that I not shave for her and I honored her wishes and did not shave while she was living. After my Mom passed away, I shaved my head for her and for so many of you with cancer,and I had “FUCK CANCER” tattooed across the back of my head. Presently I am shaving for 5 people in my life with cancer, and for everyone battling cancer. I shave every couple of days and I shave in silence, solidarity, prayer and reflection. I will never not shave my head, to give Sampson’s strength to those of you fighting this battle. Please know how much I love you and that I am with you always, loving you and cheering you on. When your time comes, I will be with you still, to carry you home. I will always be with you.

The past two weeks hit me even harder than my moms cancer hit me and I have not been okay at all. I have known not what to do. I have been a constant companion of Wayne Dyer and Nahko and SOJA and Rumi. I have been in silence and in prayer, wailing on my knees and inconsolable. Yesterday, with all of my might and with everything in me, I promised me to pull me out of this before it destroys me. I know I came here to love and to teach love, to be of service and inspiration. And so it is.

This morning I made the same choice again. One minute at a time for me right now, with one foot in front of the other, I cross the threshold into me…I am here to find me! I hope you will come along. I’m so glad you are still here. I fucking love you! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for how you all love me. Have a beautiful day everyone! Go out today and be an instrument of thy peace. Be someone’s reason to smile. Be that hug that you give away because you know you need one too.

“We are on time”…thank you Nahko

Good morning everyone! I am happy to be in the healing room with you this morning. I have wonderful news for all of us! We are on time. Did you know that? I didn’t know that and I still forget sometimes, and I do know, with all of my heart, that we are exactly where we are meant to be. If you are sinking and feel like you won’t make it, don’t forget to remember that this too shall pass. If everything is wonderful, appreciate and enjoy each moment, because this too shall pass. We want to ensure that we will find happiness and peace and joy, abundance and all that our hearts desire, and that it will never be lost. We hold tightly as to not lose and we live in constant fear of the time coming where we will lose what we have worked so fucking hard to gain, acquire and stash away.

We live in a mindset that says we have never had enough and that we are here to acquire. We acquire things and degrees and we possess our possessions, don’t we? That is mine. Mine. Not yours. Mine. The girl is mine. The house is mine. The car and the yacht…all mine. Really? What if I told you that none of your shit is really yours? Not one thing. We live in an illusion that fits no one or nothing. We believe this bullshit that says that we must always do what we have always done. I want to tell you something…you do not have to do what you have always done. I don’t give a fuck what your mom said…your dad or your husband…your wife or your boss says…who made them the rule makers? Who gave them authority to tell you who you are? My moms idea of Coral is not Coral. Every employer I have ever had has had an idea of who Coral should be and what role Coral must fill. I, as an employer, have dropped the hammer, trying to mold my employees into these roles, to fit the molds. Some people work well in these places, under this pressure and duress to be and do what and who they are not. I finally realized that I do not do well working for others and trying to get it right, to no avail, only to try harder and lose another piece of myself. I am recovering all of the many piece I have lost along the way, and I take what I need and leave the rest.

My writing has so many thoughts and quotes and excerpts from authors and books and songs and people I have shared my life with, that I often cannot remember exactly whose words I am using. I try to quote and give credit when I know who inspired me. Often, I do not remember which book or which song and so I just want to honor each and every person who has paved the way before me to build upon their ideas, to learn and live their words. Ram Dass, Wayne Dyer…Leo Buscaglia…Nahko and the Satsang boys…Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and countless others…you and you…Tamara and my dad…Sherry’s lessons and words you once said to me…all of everyone who inspires me…thank you, with all of my heart, for your place in my journey and for words that stick with me and inspire me daily. I don’t always credit, and I always appreciate everyone who is walking right beside me on this journey. I fucking love you. Thank you.

We are on time. Nahko is one of my most steadfast spiritual guides. His lyric and his  music…his personality and his grace…every single day since I was introduced to Nahko, I have quoted his words and found that they’ve a place in my daily life. My meditation and my thirst for musical medicine are because of the first drink I ever took of musical medicine so purposed for me, was in the lyric of the first Nahko song I ever heard…

It is Written

It is written
It is written
It is written
Gathering the nations
Prepare my relations
For spiritual battle, battle
I have my doubts
But there’s no time for that now
Gotta recharge my channel
For medicate, resist, meditate
Keep righteous walking
Steady load and locking
There ain’t no stoppin’
This bullet, load it, pull it
Bullet, load it, pull it
Fully-loaded poet

It was changing so fast
I barely kept up with it
Calling on my spirit guides
I was up in Sitka
South-east Alaska
Forgot to ask her
If I’d survive the next chapter
Born in the ‘Frisco, city of angels
Above the prophecies, up upon the table
Tangled in my spirit teacher’s angles
Middle finger to the Star-Spangled
And I know I’m ready
Big message, heavy
Gotta learn to carry
What comes to me directly, said

It is written
It is written
It is written
Gathering the nations
Prepare my relations
For spiritual battle, battle
I have my doubts
But there’s no time for that now
Gotta recharge my channel
For medicate, resist, meditate
Keep righteous walking
Steady load and locking
There ain’t no stoppin’
This bullet, load it, pull it
Bullet, load it, pull it
Fully-loaded poet

So I went to see my sister
Past, present, future
Help me remember
How to surrender
Oh, Yellowstone
Great mystery unknown
And if you blow
Poca River still flows
Puerto Rico
Part of my ancestry
Some day I’ll go
Part of my destiny
Minneapolis, cause it romances
Anishinaabe, sharing me the wisdom
I know we’re ready
Big message, heavy
Gotta learn to carry
What comes to us directly, said

It is written
It is written
It is written
Gathering the nations
Prepare my relations
For spiritual battle, battle
I have my doubts
But there’s no time for that now
Gotta recharge my channel
For medicate, resist, meditate
Keep righteous walking
Steady load and locking
There ain’t no stoppin’
This bullet, load it, pull it
Bullet, load it, pull it
Fully-loaded poet
(hey, hey)

Take your time with every little thing
Every little thing, take time
Take your time with every little thing
Every little thing, take time
Take your time!
Take your time!
With every little thing, take your time
Yeah, with every little thing, take your time, yeah

It is written
It is written
It is written
It is written
Yeah, it is written
Yeah, yeah, it is written
Oh, oh, it is written
Oh, oh, it is written
It is written
Oh, oh, it is written

I am only just beginning to scratch the surface of what this song has called up in me. I knew the first time that I heard it, and confirmed in my very soul every time  I have heard it since…now is the time to gather the nations. We are headed into spiritual battle and it looks like I am going to be one of your guides. How do I keep my ego out of my words as I convey them to you? With my intention…I keep my ego at bay with all of my intention to be who we all need, to deliver what comes to me, and to accept what I am called to do…love us all home. We are all just walking each other home. As we leave the healing room this morning, let us not forget that.
Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you and we are on time. Enjoy the journey!

I come to the garden alone…

Sitting silent in the garden with my Mom. I am at peace. I am grateful. I am blessed.

My prayers have been answered. I am on a warriors path and my time to rise up is upon us. I, much like Nahko, am gathering the nations. Nahko has been my musical medicine from the start. Thank you Nahko. My mentor in poetry and truth and musical medicine and someone I feel honored to have met in Denver in December. If you’ve not googled this guy, take a moment  for yourself and look him up. Nahko and Medicine For The People. I have never been inspired, moved or healed more by music than that of Nahko. Thank you Nahko for paving the way and for the love and inspiration. I love you! My FJ Cruiser is the Nahko Medicinemobile and my Sanctuary . I spend a lot of time with you there my Brother.

Authors and teachers…ministers and coaches…colleagues and competitors…those here in body and those who have shed their bodies…friends and adversaries…family and acquaintances…next of kin and neighbors…community and compassion circles…doctors and patients…Reiki and her servants, more often called Master. I am because you are. Umbuntu.

My Mom left the garden before me this afternooon and I was not so sad, as I know she is always right next to me in some form. Be it a butterfly or a hummingbird…the sun and the moon…a breeze or a whisper…a moment or a memory. My Mom shed a body that she was way too big for. We shall all do the same some day. We are all dying, every moment, for we are not here for always. We are here now and that is all we have…this moment.

One of my Moms all time favorite songs was “The Garden”. We sang it with her in church and she sang it to us as kids and we played it at her funeral. I thought you might enjoy the lyrics, so here you go:

 

 

The Garden

I come to the garden alone,

While the dew is still on the roses,

And the voice I hear falling on my ear,

The Son of God discloses…

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own,

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other, has ever, known!

He speaks and the sound of His voice,

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that he gave to me,

Within my heart is ringing . . .

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own,

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other, has ever, known!

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other, has ever, known!

 

Words and Music by C. Austin Miles, 1912

 

God is in is. We are in God. We are God. We must understand that before we will ever understand ourselves. “I will give you an orange to show me where God is.”..to an Avatar. The Avatar, in response says, “I will give you two oranges if you show me where God is not”. Thank you Dr. Wayne Dyer and Neale Donald Walsch and Ram Dass for the inspiration and the beauty and delivery of your words, in language I can appreciate understand. I love you!

Have a beautiful evening everyone. I love you.

 

Celebrating Nahko and Mala on my Birthday…

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Good morning everyone! Well, I made it to 45! Another trip around the sun…As I do every year, I listen to Cat Steven’s “Morning Has Broken” on my Birthday. Every year I am reminded that my Morning breaks and I rise where I have fallen. This year is no different. I have fallen and I will rise up!

My insurance finally approved my MRI and that will be on August 7th. My prayer is obviously that Gods will be done. I am praying that the answers for both my pelvic and posterior pain, as well as all of my post op pain are revealed and that we can begin to heal me. Being unwell and in chronic pain is taking a huge toll on my girl and I. I cannot even imagine what watching me go through this is like for the girl who loves me more than anything in this world. I love you Tamara. We’ve got this. So, answers and relief coming…good things not already here certainly are coming…all love and prayers for clarity and healing, for this chronic pain and depression be gone! And so it is!

On this day, I am counting my blessings! They are pouring in as each of you message me and call me! I am so fucking loved and I thank each of you for that! I celebrate each of you today for making my Birthday special, for making my life special.

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I am signing off and loving each of you so much on this the day of my birth, 45 years ago! Here’s to another trip around the sun! Have a beautiful day today and thank you to each of you who donated to and set up Birthday fundraisers for the Sanctuary for Our Birthdays.

Before I go…A dear friend of mine set up a fundraiser for the sanctuaries newest residents, Nahko and Mala…our beautiful Guardians, gifted to us, between our Birthday’s, and I am going to put this fundraiser up today and ask you to donate if you can and share if you can’t, to raise money for their vetting and for the rest of their lives to be the best of their lives! Welcome home Mala and Nahko!

You can donate on my Facebook Page if you are so inclined!

https://www.facebook.com

coral d ricketts

 

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Passing on the love that was just gifted to me…thank you. Thank you. Thank you….

I was SO gifted this morning, during my meditation,  that I just had to share this with you!

This morning, after coffee with all of you, I had coffe with Nahko. I had coffee with Sage. I had coffee with Benny. I had coffee with my Mom and my Dad, with my little brother, Shawn…

I meditate with Nahko, every single day, optionally, first thing every day, in my morning meditation…thank you Nahko. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

On this day, much like every day, after my chosen Nahko song, Mitakuye Oyasin, I invite Spirit to bring me love notes, if she wishes…well, today, she wishes…and I am so thankful!!!! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Today, while listening to “Pueo”…thank you Nahko…Parsley came swooping in…that’s right…swooping and flying and tippity tap, tap dancing…flying and crashing about the water…smiling and quacking her little Quackle horn…at the very end of this song, in complete silence, Parsley came to me…in every instrument, every vibration…she danced and smiled and flew…she soared…and she sang and brought her friends…and it was ducking glorious! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

After sharing this experience with Tamara, I resumed my meditation with Nahko. A few moments later, Tamara quietly walked in and placed Benny’s picture in front of me, and whispered, “I thought you might like to have coffee with Benny this morning”….and you have no idea, I had no idea, how much I wanted to have coffee with Benny this morning. With Nahko in the background, we listened together to “Manifesto II” and “Risk It”…”7 Feathers”…Thank you Tamara, for sharing your beautiful cousin with me. I regret not knowing him while he was here in body. From what I’ve come to know of Benny through you and the rest of his family and through the blessed time that I spend with him, his spirit was WAY, too big for that body of his.

Your Aunt so passionately spoke of her conversation with Benny to all of us, shortly after his passing…”I am everywhere…look at me, I am everywhere and Benny is everywhere…we all know that, don’t we? We all feel that and that is how we know it…Thank you Benny, and Nahko, for sharing morning coffee with me this morning…Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

And all of you, back for a second cup…thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Whoever you want to sit in front of you while you drink your morning coffee, that’s who you invite. You don’t have to invite anyone and you surely don’t have to invite me, unless you can visualize me and it works for you.

Invite Toomie.  Invite Zen and Ohana and Karma. Invite Lloyd and Sherry. Invite Mary Kay and Benny. Invite Joey. Invite Gypsy and Hannah. Invite Mosley and Jingles. Invite Gable. Invite your Mom and your Dad. Invite your twin sister. Invite the Grandmother who raised you. Invite the dearly departed. Invite the love you lost and can no longer reach. Invite a conversation with someone you cannot speak to.

Your morning coffee…your healing and yours to invite whomever you wish to invite…if you invite them and take the time and prepare a space for them, they will come…

Thank you Tamara and Nahko, Mom and Benny, Parsley, and of course, each of you…for having coffee with me, on this, the first day of the rest of our amazing lives….

I love you! Have a beautiful day!

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Special thank you and credit to the lyrics and words I hear, that I use (sometimes without being aware)…

I want to take a second to thank everyone who inspires me with their words and with their courage to share their hearts with us all.

Nahko is a HUGE influence in my life and my healing and my writing. Wookiefoot…Twiddle…Tracy Chapman, John Denver…just to name a few…

I never intend to use anyone’s lyric or words without credit or permission. I am often unaware, like I thought of some of these amazing things, myself…

I am working on me and I am flawed. Thank you for your patience as I navigate this bumpy and winding and often painful, always beautiful…always bountiful road with me.

Thank you to every single word that has ever opened or inspired me and please forgive me if I ever failed to give credit..

Thank you to Tubby Love and Elton and Nahko…I knew, in that weekend in Denver, that I too would dance someday…hopefully with all of the love and spirit of all of you…I will dance…with all of my heart one day too…

Namaste, many thanks and all of my love…