Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

And Aiden chimes in!!!

Good morning everyone! Happy Sunday from Aiden and I! Aiden and I are getting back into our groove together and I am thankful for that. Aiden is in my body and I in his to try to make some sense of what is happening on the inside of Aiden. With that being said, I will be out of sorts, so to speak, for the next couple of days. I will be inside Aiden and absent and unavailable to some of you. I go somewhere and my thoughts and my comprende go there with me. Today and tomorrow will be Aiden and Coral days…intimate and cozy and close…prayerful, contemplative and meditative. If you need me, I will be with Aiden, so please be sure it’s really important if you reach to me before Tuesday morning at dawn, as I am in session with Aiden. I go on and my life goes on and I don’t know how to explain all of that really…other than to say that if I seem aloof or distant or completely absent or downright fucking rude in the next couple of days, I apologize in advance. I will be in spiritual surgery so to speak. I will not be myself, for I will be in Aiden and Aiden will be in me, as we build new constructs together.

It would mean so very much to Aiden and I and to Aidens family of you could lift us up as high as you can, in love and light and prayer.

This is Aiden,

I prefer the word exhaulted. Coral doesn’t like to use it because it has a red line under it. Anyway, I would like to be exhaulted, to the highest of highs, to the almighty himself, to examine my throat. I do not wish to pass “go” or to wait in throat jail any longer because I have important stuff to do. I have to be in court, for instance, with my mom. I need to protect my big brother Jackson. My Dad and my mom need me and so do my sisters and even Michael. I cannot tell you the long list of things I need to be doing, other than lying around and trying not to cough. It is exhausting, not exhaulting, if you know what I mean? Anyway, happy Sunday to you and to me too. I’m going to love on my mom today, well more today than yesterday for sure. And more tomorrow than today, no doubt. As I was asking though, please lift me up to the highest of high and the mightiest of the most mighty to get my throat fixed. To me, that’s my mom…and so lift her up, okay? To lift me up…to lift Coral up to the highest healing place of all? If you don’t mind…I mean even if you do, please just lift me up. I love you. Thank you. ❤️♥️💜

So, with that being beautifully said by Aiden himself, please lift us up as we also lift you, to the highest healing place of all, exhaulted to your highest high!!!! Happy Sunday! We love you!! And all together…”I love you Aiden!!!!!”

Happy Saturday from Coral and Aiden…

    Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday! I hope your week has been a good one. I have had a productive week and feel fairly accomplished. My mom and dad would have celebrated their 50 year wedding anniversary yesterday. All day I felt a little sad that I wasn’t planning their 50th like Shawn and I had always wanted to do for them. I didn’t get stuck in my sadness, although I did visit there a few times throughout the day. So, happy belated anniversary to my parents. With my mom in heaven and my dad remarried, the day still held a whole lot of meaning for me and for that I am so grateful. Changing the way I look at things is a difficult tide to turn, and so fucking worth it. So, so worth it. The way I have looked at things in the past has made things ugly for when they didn’t need to be, difficult when it wasn’t hard at all, sad when it really wasn’t and overwhelming when it was easy. My thoughts have harmed me more than anyone or anything else, simply because I allowed my thoughts to take me over. Mindfully, I correct my thinking and miraculously my life is changing and I am so thankful for that.

Aiden is a soul from somewhere very special. Something about Aiden is the pure the and good. Aiden exemplifies and is the epitome of the beauty in us all. Aiden came from somewhere special to take us all back there with him.

I really am all Aiden all the time right now. My life goes on…it’s just that Aiden is the center of my world and the recipient of my constant attention. Practically every thought is of Aiden and every idea is to help Aiden to be well. It is just like the day I got the call about Aiden being missing…after that, until Aiden came back home, it was all Aiden until he was in his moms arms. When God calls you personally to care for his most beloved, you have a knowing that your life is blessed beyond measure. When God says to design Aiden a new trachea and think he called the wrong person because you failed A & P not once but twice, taking your massage licensing, you get out your paper and pen and you become a mother fucking architect. You make o rings out of C’s and E’s and O’s and you dance like you know how. You learn to balance and hold the weight and the world and the heart of someone else above you. You learn that the gifts you don’t possess will be evident in the gifts you allow others to come forward with as you rise and fall and ebb and flow in this healing process.

For me, life with Aiden has been a beautifully choreographed dance. We dance to the left for all of you and we come back to center to bring you in with us, before we slow start back to the right again. We go FJ cruising and race car driving together like old friends. We lie together for hours on our stomachs inviting the air to visit us in our windpipe very slowly and gently. We manipulate our windpipes and we reminisce about our beautiful moms together. We dream of a better world, and we find our own ways to improve the world we landed in for this incarnation. We have been together before, Aiden and I and his mom. We have journeyed together before. We are all in different roles now and our life is different than it was in the old world. In the old world, we were one and we knew that. Now we are seemingly separate and looking to reconnect. All of us are doing that you know? All of us have deja vu sometimes don’t we? A familiar smell, a sound, a voice or a place…and we know we have been there before. We know we have loved these beautiful beings before and we are here to love them better this time around. Blessed by more time with Aiden, I am beyond dedicated to do whatever I can to give him what he needs for his journey to be comfortable, safe and well.

Our lives begin to really matter the day that we realize that we are not here for ourselves. Our purpose begins to reveal itself when we openly share the gifts we have available to us. Finding Aiden to some was like looking for a needle in a haystack. For me, it was like my own life depended upon Aiden coming home. I can’t really explain it. I just knew when the call came in that Aiden would return to his mom. I can’t explain it now eitherwith that same knowing, I know Aiden is to be exalted of his struggles. So again, I ask each of you to pray with me for Aiden and his healing. I ask each of you to throw all of your love at Aiden and his mom and his dad and his siblings, as the struggle is real for each of them.

On this morning as I get ready to go out into the world, I reach up and feel the soft growth on my head, the hair that I’m growing for Aiden. For years, I’ve been shaving my hair off to give strength to those battling cancer. Now, with all of my love, I grow my hair to give Aiden all the love and strength I’ve got. As my hair grows, so does Aidens strength. And so I say, let that Aiden fro grow! Let it grow! Let it grow!

Thank you to each of you who is loving Aiden and his family so, so much. Please dial up the love and prayers with me this morning. Please open your heart and say it with me…”I love you Aiden!”

Have a beautiful Saturday and Aiden says thank you for loving him so much! Aiden will share the name of his groomer with me, so not to worry, I will be in the best hands with my new hair! Thanks Aiden!

A brief visit from our sister Robin this morning….

Good morning everyone. I really don’t have a lot to share right now. I am horribly saddened by the state of affairs in our world. Senseless killing and so many people wishing they were not here…angry words and disposable friendships and families. Violence and hate being spewed from even the mouths of babes. Man, I’m fucking disheartened and sad about the way we treat one another. I am sad to be so unable to understand the world I live it. I have always felt that I am in this world and not of this world. Days like this, I feel this even more so.

I know I’m here to help, to be of service and to do life solid, by giving my very best. I really do try. I am way better at solving your problems than I will ever be at handling my own, and I am working on that. I am seeing so clearly that I can’t fix you. Hell, I obviously can’t fix me either. I show up where I am called and I often stay too long. I stay where I’m not appreciated or wanted or acknowledged. I show up excited to be a part of a world that you never even prepared space for me to be in and then I wonder why it feels shitty to be trying to be in it. It’s not my fucking world and this in not my circus and these definitely are not my fucking clowns!

And so I regress. Truly, on all things. In all situations in my life right now, I regress. I pull myself back and out. I pull myself up and out, and I pause, on everything. I am at a stand still on everything in my life…holding pause, turning within. I get to going so fast sometimes into and toward things that don’t feel just right to me, thinking this will right itself eventually. I see the error of my ways and I stand down and pause in my life, for a spell, to re-evaluate and to reassess my current situation. Big life decisions are on hold for me until at least October as I really take some time to feel how I feel and to end up where I belong. I’ve an offer in in a space that was accepted and then I realized that I’m not sure what I need the space for right now. So, right now, I slow my roll and pray and meditate a lot. For today only, I realize that I am right where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. If the space is available in October and the clients are getting referred and booked, I will look again, into space outside of my current operating system. For now though, I have decided to work on the studio and to work on myself. I have decided that I prefer to lie kind of low and to turn inward as I re-evaluate some things in my life that are calling out to me.

I pray for patience and understanding, for love and light and for the ability to be content and in gratitude, no matter what. I pray for guidance and illumination. I pray for peace and prosperity. I pray for tolerance and understanding. Most of all, I pray to not partner with, end up with, or to be tied in any way, to anyone who does not listen to me, talk with me and value me. I remove myself from all situations that are not mine. I take my energy from that which has no concern for me. I lift up my brothers and my sisters who are on the brink of giving up, that they back away from the ledge that is beckoning to them. I lift up the sick and the broken and the beat down Lord, that you restore us to your glory, to your will and to your vision. May we be instruments of your peace Lord. May we be instruments of your love Lord. MY we be in your light Lord, always, in all ways. And so it is. Amen.

And our sister Robin chimes in…

I haven’t been up here too long, looking down over all of you. I’m not really up or down or over. I am everywhere now. From everywhere, I see how nowhere that you feel that you are. I watch you scurry around in a tizzy, trying to make it all just right….trying to line it all up and line it all out. I see your master plans in front of you, for a rebuild that isn’t yours. I see an overhaul coming on a rig that you haven’t fired up and taken out in decades. I feel your frustration and I raise you mine. You aren’t living your purpose. You aren’t fulfilling your Dharma. You are an ass kissing fool my friend. You are far more worried about being liked that you are about being yourself. You are way too worried about stepping on toes. You pick up the phone for people crying wolf while you are teetering over your own edge. Knock that shit off already! Truly, if they can’t love you, out loud, like a verb, and be elated that you showed up at all, keep on walking sister. If their cries simply get heard because they are louder than your own, you best raise yourself an octave or two or ten. You are a lame sitting duck Coral Dawn. You are a lame, and I empathize and emphasize at the same time, with lame sitting ducks my friend. What does anyone need or want with a lame and sitting duck? What does anyone want or need with someone who doesn’t feel worthy or good enough? What does anyone have to offer outside of you that you don’t possess within you? You don’t need office space. That space needed you. That space needed your love and your energy and your gift…you never needed that space. You were to sit in Lotus pose and pray for your world for hours and days on end, for a world who didn’t even open the door for you to enter. This is your time to stop and realize your error and to leave this place that doesn’t validate you, inspire you and open space up wide for you. This is true if all spaces, all people and all situations before you. If a space has not been prepared for you, this is your sign to walk by in love without crossing the threshold. If you can’t get calls and texts back and answers that don’t feel like dragging the bottom of a lake, you are notifying the wrong people, to light you up. If it feels wrong, it is because it is wrong.

Thank you for stopping in Robin, and for the message for us all this morning. Thank you for the angels who light my path. Thank you for a partner who loves me no matter what. Thank you for the love and support and input of friends and family, at a time when clarity eluded me. Have a beautiful day everyone. I love you! Great to spend time with you this morning sister! I love you!

Thank you for a beautiful Birthday weekend everyone!

Wow! How blessed am I? Truly, thank you for all of the Birthday love! What an amazing weekend, with the most beautiful and dear and amazing people! And further blessed by all of your calls and texts and messages and well wishes. Thank you everyone, so much for all of the love!

Thank you God. For everything. Amen.

My life journey promises healing space for us all. My life’s purpose is to give that away to everyone! Puzzlement has overcome me as to how to do that for my entire lifetime so far. Who am I? What is my purpose? Why am I here? What am I “supposed” to be doing? Where do I go from here, and how do I get there? So many loaded questions. So few answers to these questions. And yet, I have been doing this all along, to some extent, for my entire life, as we all have. I have been living my life’s purpose. As I know better, I do better. More conscious these days, I am aware of where I have fallen short. More willing to be wrong so I can learn who I want to be and less quick to blame others…and I am grateful.

I hope everyone has a blessed and beautiful day today! Thank you again for all of the Birthday love! I love you all right back!

A leap of faith is on the horizon for me!

Happy early Sunday morning everyone! I cannot sleep, as I’ve been working on plans for my new office space. I have been in constant prayer and meditation over this opportunity, as it’s a big decision for me. I am close to submitting an offer for the space I have chosen. I am asking for love and prayers to guide me in this decision and to light me up as I take a new platform and a new role in my life. This opportunity comes at a time when I am transitioning my focus and my work into spiritual overdrive.

It feels as though I have Always and forever obsessed with job descriptions and credentials and resumes. I have put in a lot of hours, sweat and tears, never really fulfilling my dharma. This opportunity comes at the perfect time, as I enter a place in my life where I do not give a shit about any of that. I do not care what my resume looks like or how many jobs or career paths I have previously chosen. I’m not attached to who you think I am or to what people think I do anymore. This venture is not about any of that. This is about being the light and this is about coming with that light and passing this torch. My mission is simple and that is to love us all home. This opportunity…this space…this opening…is simply an invitation for us all to show up and to work together. I will be available in my new office space three days a week. I am scheduling myself in office on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to start with. My appointments will be scheduled in one hour segments and two hour segments. My rate will be $100 per hour for all services and must be paid at the time of service. I accept cash, checks, PayPal and Zelle. Appointment times for Studio Sessions and for Animal Communication and Animal Reiki and for all Human and Animal Massage will all be conveniently billed at the same rate per hour, to keep it simple and affordable for everyone! All of everything else, I’m doing away with. Simple is my motto moving forward. Being available to everyone is extremely important to me, and so I am taking a huge leap of faith here and making myself available, by opening office space, continuing my mobile and pet sitting clients and by offering studio space at Santuario de Karuna on a one on one basis.

If there is enough interest, I will offer a monthly group meditation. I also have some workshops in the planning phases and will be available for lectures and silent space opportunities. I want to offer you plenty of time with me one on one. So…there are a lot of good things coming!

As I said, I need some extra hands and a skill set outside of my own to help me to demo a wall and to build a couple of walls. It seems pretty straight forward and yet, it’s not my strength, so is anyone available for a few hours this week to help me out? I am looking at this week on Wednesday or possibly Thursday? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Please hit me up if you can help a girl out. Thank you in advance!

I can feel the momentum building and the energy lighting up! I know that we are in for some amazing things coming! We must be the change. We must be the love. We must hold hands and stick together.

As I prepare to take this leap of faith, I ask each of you for all of your love and prayers. As I program for being both a provider and for being so provided for, I pray for each of us to give and get what we need from one another. My mission is to be of service and to be available. This leap of faith makes that more possible than it has been and for that, I am very grateful.

With my proposal in hand and my offer ready, I walk into the light, ready for all of the amazing opportunity, the financial security, the abundance and healing headed our way. Please pray for my offer to be accepted and for my proposal to be embraced and accepted, so that we can get moving toward all of the amazing things coming our way!

With all of my love and thanks this morning, I ask for all of your love and prayers as I jump, with all of my heart, into my amazing future. I really do hope you will join me!

All of my love today! I believe in the good things coming! And so it is.

Thank you for the Birthday love! I love you right back!

Good morning everyone! Happy August 3rd! I had a beautiful birthday yesterday! Thank you to everyone who participated in my special day and for all of the calls and texts and messages and posts and love!! You all made my day with your love! Thank you! Thank you Tamara for a perfect day and for spending it with me! I could not be more blessed and I thank each of you for your part in my amazing life!

We went to Jemez and it was spectacular! Jemez and Taos have always been homes away from home. I feel so blessed to have been cleansed in her healing waters and washed clean of my sins and my transgressions. My time is Jemez is always very spiritual and healing for me. On my birthday, I felt particularly blessed to soak in her healing springs and to sit in her flowing river and to let it all just wash away.

At 8:35am, I did my birthday meditation and I wailed and cried as I missed my mom. It was primal and painful and raw. I felt my heart split wide open and shatter, as I listened to Cat Stevens, “Morning Has Broken”, as I do every year on my birthday. This year was different though. This year something broke loose and gave way. Something broke free and dislodged itself and I am so grateful. My birthday was such a big day for my mom and since she died, it has been a horrible day for me. Yesterday was different and I took my day back from the grief that I was hung up in, and celebrated being born and being alive. Thank you to everyone who helped me to do that. Yesterday was a beautiful day and I am so thankful! It is nice to have my birthday back from the depths of the grief that consumed it since my mom left this earth. I love you mom. Thank you for your subtle visits throughout the day yesterday, to let me know you were with us. Thank you Tamara for being such an amazing light in my life and Pilar of strength in my weakness. I love you and I am so thankful for you. To all of my amazing friends and family that reached out for me, thank you for all of your birthday love. Rocky thanks all of you for the birthday love also!

Moving forward in this new Coral year, I am making some life changes. I am going inward a bit more. I am to be contemplative, a bit more. I am going to read more and listen more and talk less. I am going to sit back and observe more. I am going to work harder and play harder. I am going to have a waitlist to see clients and every session is going to be epic and blessed beyond measure. I feel the momentum of my life taking off and I am so happy you are coming with me on this journey!

Manifesting my new work space and opening up to the universe for the clients I can help the most to return to healing and health. Opening up to being of service and to being available for those who need me and being off of the radar of those who cannot of will not help themselves. I have been spinning my wheels for my entire lifetime, helping people who have no interest in helping themselves, and so this year, I vow to only help those who reach for me to help themselves. Studio sessions will be much more flexible and available as I expand and become more flexible in my time and my work. So, all good news for those of you on a healing path forward…we are headed for all of the good things coming and into the light and love of healing and loving and growing into wholeness and wellness and love! I truly do hope that you will join me on this amazing journey forward!

Thank you again for all of the amazing birthday love! I am so blessed to have so many beautiful and amazing people in my life! Have a beautiful Saturday everyone! I love you!

I believe in the good things coming!

Good morning everyone! Happy Friday! I have some amazing news to share!! I don’t have details nailed down or anything set in stone just yet, so I’m not saying much about it. I am, however, in the process of some huge changes in my life and my career path!

My life purpose work began in 2008 when I decided to go to massage school. I literally quit my job, enrolled in massage school and began again, after being in the restaurant and bar business my whole life. One night of too much violence, ending in death downtown and I walked away from it all. It wasn’t even a leap of faith at that point, I was running as fast as I could, away from a life that no longer fit me or served me or nourished me. Fast forward a few years later, to the day I gave notice at the vets office I was working in, to go out in my own with my work. I was scared to death and without a sufficient client pool. I was never so scared and so I closed my eyes and I jumped. Fast forward again, to the present, and I am about to jump again, into the great unknown. I have been calling for change and space and clientele. I have been manifesting space and people and love. My friends, we are at another threshold! We are embarking on magnificence in these moments! I will be opening up office space in the very near future, so that I may be of service to more of you. My office hours will be limited at first, as I navigate this new terrain. I know that my gift is needed in more abundance.I hear the universe and I am moving to meet her. I will be taking both canine and human clients, new and existing, on this amazing journey with me! I can already feel the slots filling up and so I am diligently working to have myself up and running a couple of days a week, in office, by September. I will be able to offer studio sessions both at my office space and in studio space at my home! So…with all of my love, I offer you, me! Stay tuned for details!

With that being said, I am definitely turning my life’s tide here. I wake up some days feeling like I just cannot go on at all. I feel like I’m lacking purpose and motivation and the drive I need to propel myself through this sludge of procrastination. Most of all, I am learning that I am afraid of my own success. I am self-sabotaging in situations that I know I’m destined to be in. This office space is epic, in that it’s a blank slate, just waiting to become whatever I make it! The energy is amazing and the space is spectacular! I am so ready for all of the good things coming! I can’t wait to take you guys with me! I will be partnering with the most amazing people in my field and with one of the most inspiring human beings I have ever had the privilege of meeting! Stay tuned for the amazing things opening up for all of us!

With that being said, I will be switching gears and shifting a lot of my focus to manifest my dream in the coming weeks. Please send love and light and abundance…and most of all, all of your love.

I need a couple of people who can help me to take down an existing wall and put up a wall in this space. It appears to be pretty straightforward and yet, way out of my own skill set. If you can help me, please send me a message. 504-269-9242, so we can get that addressed as soon as possible. I thank you in advance.

Have a beautiful day everyone. All of my love. I’m off to great things and to be with my beautiful girl!

Who wants free hugs at their business? Free hugs at your event?

Good morning beautiful people. I hope your week is going well so far. I am definitely grateful, thankful and blessed. I’m spending time tuning myself up spiritually as of late. I realized that there is a lot I want to learn and do and be and that I am the only one who can. For me right now, hug research, meditation and prayer are hugely responsible for most of my time. I am here to be better than I have been and I am here to be well.

Love and Hugs are where it’s at for me. All things, like a verb, have potential to change and impact and grow situations. I didn’t come here to sit on the sidelines. I didn’t come here to not get my hands dirty. I often have no idea what I ought to be doing and so I sit still for a while until I figure it out again. What our world needs is love. What our world needs is some loving embrace. What I’m doing is cultivating it. I really do appreciate everyone who is by my side in this journey.

Our Third Free Hugs event was absolutely EPIC!! I am in the process of planning another FREE HUG event in the very near future. Hit me up if you need some love and hugs at your place of business and we will come and give our free hugs for a couple of hours. The love and the hugs are free!

I am in the process of manifesting a workshop also. It is going to be absolutely amazing. I will be working diligently on this until I have it ready for launch! This workshop will likely be held at Santuario de Karuna in the near future so stay tuned!

Have a blessed and beautiful day everyone! I love you! I hope to hug you soon!

Let us lie here in the sun together…

Good morning everyone. I am not going to lie this morning you guys…I am sad and discouraged. My heart is heavy and full of hurt for so many of you. I pray for the right prayer to lift the burdens that are breaking us down. I pray for strength where we are weak. I pray for love above all else, for each and every one of us.

I saw my Dad today. It has been over six months since I sat down for some time with my dad. Let me tell you something. My dad and I are bigger than our differences. My dad and I are more than the sum of all of the pain of the past. My dad and I have a choice, just like everyone else…We can take it or we can leave it. I left it for a bit and I wasn’t sure I was going to ever come back. I was so done being so hurt and so I stepped away. I had to step away and I am glad that I did. I am back now and I’m glad that I am.

The moment that I owned that every single moment of my life, all the way from conception, is my fault, my doing, my choosing…I began to heal, for the real. All of the abuse, the incest, the pain…all of the anger and violence…every single last bit of it…I chose it somewhere, way back there, to evolve and grow me. And guess what? All of this has grown me and is evolving me and I am finally truly grateful for that. Sitting with my Dad is way more important than anything that separated us in the first place. With my mom dead in the ground, my relationship with my Dad really matters to me. My dad and I…we forgive each other. For all of it…we both forgive each other for not knowing what we didn’t know before we knew it. My dad and I are the only ones who can forgive each other and ourselves and we finally have done that. No matter what took place in that relationship…no matter why…I just love my dad. I felt insane for feeling this way and I felt pretty inhumane not feeling this way. Today, I am just thankful to have my Dad back in my life. More than anything he has ever done to me, I love him. For me, after all of everything, it really is that simple. I just love my dad. I wasn’t sure how to do that after all That I came to know and I took a long hard look and a big step back. I needed to do that. Now, I am making a conscious decision to forgive and to be done with what has gone before me. I love my dad more than anything my dad ever did to me. I love my mom more than anything my mom ever did to me. I love my brother more than anything he has ever done to me. I love Tamara and you and everyone in my life, more than anything they have ever done to me. This is how I choose to live. This is who I choose to be. I haven’t always known I could make this choice and so today I am grateful that I’ve the choice to make. You have those choices too, you know? You can change the way you look at things too. You can decide that it’s going to be different, for you. For me, it’s going to be different. I am different. Forever changed and forever thankful, for the ability to be done with what no longer serves me. In my case, I’m done with many things…so, so done with so, so many things. My dad just doesn’t happen to be one of those things. You, just don’t happen to be one of those things.

Today, I make a choice to be here now and to be grateful to be here. Today my only question is how may I serve you? Is there anything at all that I can do to help you? If there is, please say the word. We are each only ever here to love each other through all of this. How can I love you better today? Let me know, would you?

To those of you in my life who are struggling, I wrap you in my arms and I hold you close to me. I pray with you and wipe away your tears. I surround you in love and light and healing. I pull you from the pool of your own shit, and I wash you clean and I lay you out in the sun to dry off and bathe in the light, right here next to me. For we are all tainted you see…we all need some time rinsed off clean in the sun to figure out what to do next. Let us just lie here together, in the sun, until we can stand up again. Let us not rush ourselves to our feet. Let us just lie here as long as we must, to heal and restore our faith. Let us lie here in the sun together. For as long as we need to, let us just lie here and come clean.

I love you every day. Today though, I love every single one of you just a bit more. Go out there and love each other just a bit more today, would you?

This morning, we Pray as our Father taught us to pray…

Good morning everyone! Yesterday’s blog didn’t upload, so I just put it up. I’m sorry I didn’t catch that yesterday and get it posted before I went to bed last night.

I hope everyone is off to a great start this morning. I have a busy day today of clients and friends and I am so thankful for both!

As my birthday approaches this year, I am doing a great deal of reflecting and introspection. I am going to turn this tide this year! I will not live another 365 days miserable, blaming, shaming, or in my past. Truly, my story has a purpose and I am all about fulfilling my purpose, my Dharma and my dreams. My pursuit of those things has ceased to be so driven as of late. I want love and touch and hugs and meaningful conversations. I want to know you and to be with you and spend my time being where you are, so that I can know you. I want to love you and to help you if I can, and to just be here if not. We are here to walk each other home as we fulfill our own. We do that by being in our lives, concerned about ourselves, and not so much what everyone else is doing or being. What we came for is more than enough and we finally get that. On some level, we finally realize that we are here to work on and worry about and grow and inspire ourselves to make this world a better place. We are not here to destroy Mother Earth and we are not here to be better than everyone else. Our battles and our struggles and our journey…all of this is ours with ourselves. The battles we fight the hardest and the longest are always the battles with ourselves anyway. Looking outside of ourselves for anything is very likely to turn up quite a bit of nothing. When we finally understand that we aren’t battling each other, we stand a much better chance to cease fire in this war we constantly wage out there on everyone else.

This morning as I lay here, I feel my mom with me. I have missed her so much lately and this morning, right now, she is sitting at the foot of my bed with me. I don’t want to move at All because I don’t want her to go just yet. Why did she come this morning? What prompted this visit? Last night while listening to Ram Dass lecture, I heard again that my mom has simply lost the form I knew her in. Without her form, I lost her for a while, as I couldn’t recognize her without her body. For a while after that, I was really pissed at my mom for some things and I couldn’t see her then either, because I told her to leave me the hell alone for a while. Yesterday though my Dad called with a message from my mom that he saw on a church marquee, which said, “I love you to the moon and back.” Of course it was my mom, AND my dad called to tell me so. My angels are waking up and I am waking up and I am so thankful. I started to get stuck in my anger and my pain and my blame and shame and resentments of things gone before me. I had issue dismantling myself enough to break enough to just let it all fucking be, and it took me awhile to fall completely apart. I walked away from a lot and a lot walked away from me. I chased and I cried and I begged and I pleaded for things to right themselves and they did not. I screamed and raged and wanted to kill myself to right my world again. I sit in gratitude this morning for many unanswered prayers. I sit in gratitude for my mom sitting here at the edge of my bed this morning. There are no words exchanged. Her presence is enough and I am grateful. Thank you for visiting me this morning mom. Please stay close. I miss you.

To everyone who is not sitting on the edge of my bed this morning, I am glad you’re here with me in the healing room. We are going to change format in here and we are going to do a makeover on content. The healing room is going through some renovation this week. By next Friday, the healing room and my entire life will be transformed in ways I cannot begin to fathom. As I approach my Birthday this year, I am so aware that I will never be the same. Ramping up for something epic and amazing and life altering…having no idea and every idea of what this means, all at once. My moms visit this morning is a very clear sign for me to grab ahold of the notion of letting it all go completely. Let it be Coral. All of it, every single last bit of it…let it be. And so I shall. I shall let it all be.

Encapsulated by the darkness this morning, and so anxious for the light of a new day to break with the coming dawn. Reminded that for all that I am not, there is much that I am. For all that lies before me, I have more than what I need within me. My passion to navigate it all was misplaced for a while and this morning I’m picking back up! I set down my drive and my passion and my knowing of myself somewhere back there. I lost my fucking way a ways back. I almost completely gave up on this home stretch. I came real close to chucking it all into the fuck it bucket a time or two. This morning though, I know beyond all knowings that I’ve previously held, that I’ve big work to do. I’m ready. I am absolutely ready. We are about ready for lift off. As we countdown to lift off, let us all assume the prayer position on our knees. There will be no mass ascension until all parties are on their knees and bowing in prayer. This rig won’t lift until all heads are bowed and all prayers are going up, for we are the weight of our own world and we cannot ascend to our heights until we assume the proper position to do so. So, if you would at this time, please bow to your knees in prayer position and join me in prayer.

Our father,

Thank you for hearing our prayers and for being here with us this morning. We know we have called you in prematurely a time or two. This morning though Lord, we are ready for ascension to your will. We are ready to abandon our own wills, that your will be done Lord. We remove our grubby little hands from your masterpiece of all knowing, and we take your hand to guide the way for us. We set down our swords and our weapons and we ask you to disarm us of our rage, anger and our intolerance. Please Lord, remove our blame and our shame. Take our insufficiency and our inadequacy and our not enough and shower us with your abundance Lord. Take our failures and all of our fuck ups Lord and let us be holy in your name. Remove our blinders and our judgement and our constant rhetoric about the way things are supposed to be. Lord, close our mouths and open our hearts up wide. Take our will and set that bitch ablaze Lord, that we operate only in your will. Let all beings operate in your will and in our highest good. Remove our thoughts and intentions of harm to ourselves and others Lord and return us to your image. Return us to your loving arms and into your loving care, for we have strayed Lord and we have lost our way. For those struggling and suffering and starving and dying alone, Lord please provide comfort and peace and love. For those without Lord, please provide. For those with Lord, please open our arms that we may bestow our bounties upon your downtrodden. Lord show us how to shower love upon all of your people. Show us how to love all of your people, without prejudice or judgement, without fear and absent of ridicule always, in all ways Lord. Lord please hear our prayer. Thank you for the bounty of our blessings Lord, for the wellness and the health and the happiness of our hearts Lord. Please make me an instrument of thy peace Lord, to do with me as though wilt. In your name and with your blessings, I ask these things for us all, that we may better serve you and your will and detach from our own will. Love us back to love Lord and guide us into your loving arms. We are carrying each other home and we ask you to shine down upon us and grant us your peace and mercy. Show us how to love unconditionally and allow us to recognize and receive unconditional love in abundance in our lives. Please show us how to operate in the highest good of us all, to love as you love and to pray as you taught us to pray, “Our Father, who Art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. Forgive us our sins that we may forgive those who sin against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the power and the glory forever. Amen.” And so it is.

Have a beautiful day everyone I love you!