Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Today, I rise from the ashes. And so it is.

Midnight stroked and I awoke shortly thereafter. I arose and actually forgot that I was too lay it all down as the clock struck the twelve o’clock hour. Nothing felt different. Nothing really felt the same. Nothing felt at all. I returned from restless slumber, into slumber. When I woke this morning, the tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat were subtle. The raging pain in my heart was but a murmur under my girls beautiful smile. The pain that has engulfed and debilitated me since Saturday, still present and now underlying, to our dreams coming true. The pain that rages through my body is at full throttle and it’s okay. This pain is on its way out and I am thankful. It raged to get in and it’s going to rage going out and I am at peace with my pain at last, and I am so, so thankful. The sickness in my stomach and the nausea have lifted with my prayers and I sit content in knowing that all is as it should be. In constant prayer and meditation since Saturday…the silence collided, breaking the speed of sound. Pointed and shrill words strung together in hurt and anger and blame, launched from my lips like missiles have landed, as I truly have nothing left to say. The inability to understand at all that left me catatonic between sobs for days has left me silent in prayer now and I am blessed. The flames that engulfed me and chased after me and hunted me down left behind their charred red and raging embers and I screamed to walk those coals. As I rise from the ashes, I shake the remaining heat from me and I return the dust to the floor. I bow to my knees in gratitude, for I have risen Lord! And so it is. Thank you.

I know the healing room has been dark lately. Thank you for being here anyway. This morning I bring a candle to reignite us all. I ask you to stand with me in silence, in solidarity, in mourning…in prayer…in love and light…as we pass our light amongst us. We must get her burning bright to take her out into the world, to light us all. No one will be left out who comes to the light. And so it shall be, for it is written.

My name is Coral and this morning I come to you anew. I stand before you naked and transparent, without secrets, without shadows chasing me. I’ve nothing left to hide. There may things I’ve left unspoken…things I forget or deem insignificant…Any question what so ever, directed at me will be answered with the truth.

My brother Rumi came to me this morning, as he does every morning. Rumi’s message this morning is this “I surge on the uprising wave of love”. I too surge on the uprising wave of love! You too, surge on the uprising wave of love! Let us be not afraid…fear not…and let us be here now.

Know that nothing is promised ever. Truly, know this. Do not be discouraged by it and know it with all of your heart…you came in to this world alone and you will go out of this world alone and the rest is just fucking details. Make your Dash count. Make sure it’s your fucking Dash…you know the space on your headstone between your birthdate and your death date…make your Dash YOUR Dash. And as for me…no headstone please, no body in the ground…no sad service…light me up and set me free and spread me at my home, our Sanctuary, the place where I learned to love and to be loved without pain. Spread me with my beautiful lover and with all of my best friends. Be sad if you must for a moment or two, until you remember that I am but a word away, merely gone from your sight. From this moment until that time comes, I will begin to live MY Dash. We know not what we know not until we come to know it. For all I’ve come to know, I am so thankful. My choices will be different now and I am empowered. My inner circle will be as big as the love that supports it and we will branch out and bring everyone in. Does everyone have your candle lit? Beautiful! Look at all of that light! And just look at all of the beautiful faces behind the light…we are beautiful! Do you know that? We really are beautiful. We are mighty. We are bold. We are love. And we have come to bring you home. My challenge and my prayer today is that you take your light and share it today. Share your light a lot today. As Martin Luther King reminds us, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.” And so it is. Let’s go light it up!

Have a beautiful day everyone! I love you. I really do love you. Thank you for being here with me.

I will rise from these ashes.

I lingered and then lingered some more, as I knew that when I left, I would not pass this way again. All of the memories and horrors…all of the expectation and disappointment and disgust…all of this fucking pain. I stood in all of that pain. As the pain kept raining down, I stopped seeking refuge and shelter. I just stopped. I decided instead, to let the rain and the tears wash me away. Wash me all away. I have never really done much more than existed, and that was a chore at times. Standing here though…being here and repeatedly trying to leave here…all while trying to find a way to stay here. Something broke in me. I let it break. Literally being shredded and mocked and taunted with tones and rigid jaw lines and then being rendered lifeless by the contempt. There’s no fight for this. There are no words for this. There is no reprieve from this. This has never been okay. I have never been safe. I have been thrown away and I grieve as though I am the one who left. I would never have left. I know I am not the leaver… I am the left behind…a pattern I’ve learned and repeated so, so many times before. I won’t act like this is okay. I forgive. I cannot forget. I love. We are the best thing that ever came of all of this. We stand alone. I stayed and I held space. This pain though…I have never known pain like this before. Foreign and so familiar is the pain that finally hit me hard enough for me to go down. We closed out a couple of lifetimes standing there. There was no budge and I cannot bend anymore without fracturing myself beyond repair. I regress. This morning though…first thing when I opened my eyes… the tears continue to fall. No dam can hold the flood of tears on their way down. No force can stop the flood and there is no comfort to be found. I haven’t spoken much of this, as I don’t even begin to know how to find the words. These words, somehow jumbled and coded, edited into “I” statements. These words are so void of all of the pain inside. These words are the best that I can stammer out, in an effort to relieve the tension that holding them has caused.

This is about me. This is about me and how I feel about what has been done. I have the power to make decisions best for me. I am not powerless. Making someone else wrong will never make any of us right. Lies are an attempt to hide a truths that don’t align with us. I have been invisible and I have been hurt repeatedly and on purpose. Over and over, and over again, I’ve not been seen at all. And I…I am barely breathing and moments away from ceasing to exist anymore at all. I am dying and I have been blatantly denied life support. I am drowning and the flood gates have been opened anyway. I am broken as the cord that held my world snaps and crashes down on top of me. I am struggling in the rubble and I extend my hand. I see the shadow pass before me and the hands shoved in the pockets of the dark image passing by. I am but a lowly beggar and my basket is nearly empty. My heart nearly broken. My face tear stained and aged and lined. I stand alone and so I am going now too. Another thing and the worst of things is that I would fix this if I could. I cannot. I cannot fix this. I did not break this. Unaccountability and anger and greed and rage and entitlement and contempt that can no longer be disguised or hidden behind other words seeps out and drains my soul. The mask has fallen off and the truth, scribbled across the shadows of a face I used to know. I can. I won’t. The rhetoric in my head, that I repeat on accident…unsettling. A broken little girl in a woman’s body. Sam and Coral and Coral and Sam, tumbling about, being tossed and turned out…A golden boy falling from grace that never befell him. And she in her casket. We have fallen apart. We have fallen from grace. We have lost more than we ever could have imagined. And my soul shrieks in the most agonizing pain of this lifetime. The bloodstains and the tears…the flashbacks and the right nows…the horrors and the lifelessness…the lovelessness…and I must go on.

For each painful thing that befalls me, and oh how it has befallen me, that I cannot turn seem to turn positive and to the light, I offer three positives and I give thanks. And I am on my way to that, in the midst of all of this.

In the loss of all I’ve truly ever known, I have gained the opportunity to be myself. And I give thanks.

I have done enough here and so I must go, as I’ve much good work to do our there. It rips my heart into bits to be begrudged the little bit of happy I have found and to feel the venom seeping out. Our house was full of strangers and friends…friends who who aren’t even friends back…and we watched from the outside of the glass. We had our little faces pressed against the glass, peering through the window at the Christmas of someone else in a home that we used to call our own. And we cry…God do we fucking cry. And I must go on. Without the knowing of how, I will go on.

Brand new, I return to the rooms of AA. Beginning again, from my lowest point in four and a half decades, I crack the cover of my big book for the first time. I begin again. I die this death to be born anew. I die this death to begin my life as me, for I will not dwell here any longer.

For the gifts and the lessons and for the endless and abundant blessings, I am so thankful. I truly am. I know how blessed I am. I write to heal myself. I write to get all of this out. I write to try to sort myself, my life…this. I intend to harm no one. And, I will not be silent. I have carried the sins of many. I have endured the beatings of nations. Today, on this day, I decide. Tomorrow and the next day and all of the days after that, I decide. From now on and for always, I decide. My decisions will be in my own best interest and in my own highest good…in the highest good of everyone, for we are all the same.

I am in the throes of something that I must go deep within to resolve and sort out. I have pulled myself out of circulation today and will not be available, as I repair my heart and lick my wounds. As I prepare my inner warrior for spiritual battle, I must prepare a place and I must ready myself for the letting go that is taking place, to prepare for all of the good things coming. These embers are still hot and cooling down, and as I patiently wait for them to become ashes, I prepare myself to rise up. I will rise from these ashes. And so it is.

As always, I send all that does not serve us, back to the universe to be recycled for the greater good of us all. I love you. Have a beautiful Sunday!

Please reflect and pray with me…

Good morning everyone! Happy New Year’s Eve! This day used to be a huge drinking day for me. Everyday was a pretty huge drinking day for me, come to think of it. Anyway…I was fucked up five years ago on this day. Thankful for another shitty year behind me…praying for a better next year…yada, yada, yada…and shots for everyone! I don’t even do shots…unless someone pours or buys me one! Okay though!!! That’s how I spent the first 41 years of my life. Mindless. Careless. Numb. Fucked up. Miserable. Hostage. Stuck. Sad. Drunk. Fighting. Fucking. Arguing. Drinking. Drinking. Drinking. So on this, the eve of a brand new year, I thank God for the friend of Bills he sent to me on that day, on my way to happy hour…a friend needing a friend to go to an AA meeting with her. Sure I could go to an AA meeting on my way to happy hour! I know my friend is going through a hard time and hey, I heard they have free cookies and coffee and I should eat before I hit the bar anyway, right?

I never made it to the bar that evening. I never made it to the bar again. My name is Coral and I am an alcoholic. Thank you Tamara for inviting me to that meeting five years ago. I will be five on January 2nd, 2019. “There but for the grace of God go I.” This morning’s reading on the last day of the year was so powerful for me that I wanted to share it with you also. Thank you Bill.

I am so glad you are here! I really am. Blogging every day, no matter what, has been so good for me. I am going to blog every day for another year. I have heard from so, so many of you who come here. I know my blog has helped you too. To be able to go somewhere every single day, and to know that someone else will be there too…I guess that has helped a lot of you and I am so happy to hear this! You being here every day helps me too. Especially on my most difficult days…you being in the healing room with me…well it helps me so much. Thank you.

As I spend today in prayer and meditation and in loving time and space with my girl, I think of each of you. I want you to know that. As we walk each other home, I place your hand in mine. I place my arm around your shoulder, and I pull you close to me. I whisper in your ear to remind you that I’ve got you. I am because you are. Ubuntu. We are all here to love each other home. We live in community with people starving and dying in our streets. Hooray for me and fuck you, as Tamara says..when we have an attitude of ingratitude.

I am on a hellbent mission to love us home and I will not stop until I’m done. I may not be your typical preacher and I may not speak to you at all. I may though, speak to you. Will you please pray with me? For the year behind us and for the year ahead…for this very moment, let us pray.

My soul brother Rumi, we come to you thankful this morning. We are thankful for the last 365 days…the 525,600 minutes of the year behind us. We ask for your love and guidance for the 52 weeks and 8,760 hours ahead of us. Most of all though brother, we ask you to help us to live in this moment. Just this one…right here and right now. The past is behind us. The future is not promised to us. The present truly is right here and right now. In this fucked up crazy world, where everyone and everything is our business…gently remind us that everything is not our business. We know right from wrong. Lord help us to do what we know in our hearts to be right and just. If we cannot find it within us to stand up…God give us the courage to stand down. If we cannot help them Lord, please stop us from harming them. Please hold our tongues in pause before we cut those we love the most. Please God remind us that we are all the same. Not one of us will be whole until each of us is whole…please let us understand this. Our brothers and our sisters, different from us and yet so very much the same..please let us recognize ourselves in one another. There are no beings less than any other beings. There are people. There are sentient beings. We are all the same. Please remove the slurs and the labels and the judgement from our lips. God please remind us that we’ve two ears and two hands…two eyes and but one mouth. Let us shut our mouths if we’ve nothing nice to say. Let our silence be our gift. Let our words always be kind. Let us love. As we learn who we have been, Rumi, guide us to forgive. Ourselves and those who’ve harmed us…let us show your grace and mercy…let us feel your grace and mercy. Let us know that God is in us…that we are God…that God is us. Let us no longer be separate. Let us love. Father forgive us where we have fallen short. Lift us up. As we come into a new year, we ask with all of our hearts, that you teach us how to love. Open us to your messages. Protect us from the harm that knows know bounds as we stand up in silent solidarity for and with one another. Teach us to stand in silence and in peace, until our voices are warranted. When our voices are warranted, God let us remember to ask if it passes through all three gates; Is it true?Is it necessary? Is it kind? If it does not pass through these gates, let us keep our lips closed until it is. Let us stand up for ourselves and for one another. We learned it wrong and we ask you to help us right it. We misunderstood and we ask you to forgive us. We ask you to bring forth the leaders who are here to love us home. And so it is. Amen.

Thank you for praying with me. Have a beautiful day and please be safe. I love you. Don’t drink and drive. Hey…better yet, don’t drink at all. Be present. Be sober. Be real. Five years later and thankful as hell, I highly recommend setting that bottle down completely my friends.

Struggling to stay afloat…

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Good morning everyone. I stayed down almost all of yesterday. I went to bed not feeling well and I woke up not feeling well. I don’t understand what is happening. It seems like I am in a very, very bad dream.

I thank you all for your love and your reach. Your prayers and good vibes. I love you all so much and thank you for loving me so much.

I really don’t have much this morning, as the struggle is real and I need to not dwell here. Depression is banging my fucking door down, as I try to make my way through all of this. I am struggling to stay afloat.

On a different note, Prajna has been right by my side, holding me and cuddling into my abdomen where I hurt so bad. There has never been a more clear gift, sent just in time, as Prajna was. I really don’t know what I would do without her company, as I cry and sweat and shiver uncontrollably, as she lays steadfast right next to me.

Tamara is amazing, and so worn out. This is all taking a huge toll on us both. Tomorrow is my girls Birthday and with all that’s going on, it doesn’t feel like her Birthday at all.

I am determined to make it through this weekend without an ER visit. I am gathering my courage, again, for Monday’s imagining appointment. I am praying for answers and a resolution for all of this. It took all I had to get myself into the OR in the first place. I am praying I don’t end up there again.

I hate to keep asking for more love and more prayers. I just feel my strength fading a bit and my depression kicking in a bit, and I need what you’ve got to keep me afloat right now.

Tamara could really use your love and prayers too, as I cannot even imagine what this is all doing to her. Watching me suffer has done a number on my girl. Tomorrow is her Birthday and so please send her your love and well wishes.

Sadly, I really can’t focus right now and so I will close for this morning. I hope you all have a beautiful Saturday. Thank you again, for the way you love me. I love you all right back.

 

This is what I’ve got on my current medical situation, for those of you interested…

Good morning everyone! Welcome to the healing room. Thank you for all of your love and prayers and support. I feel your love all around me and it gives me strength for the journey right before me. I am honestly in a pretty bad space over all of this, and since I don’t want to draw more toxicity to all of this, I am not going to dwell in the anger I am feeling. I am going to allow the anger because I cannot believe that I am sitting here right now. I will blog today about where I am at and what we have been going through. This is not an uplifting, feel good blog and on this day, I am unable to turn it or spin it that way. I am scared. I am angry. I feel like shit and I hurt. Feels like poison running through my veins and I feel weak. This blog is about all of that.

If you need to leave us here, have a beautiful day! If you are keeping up with me and my current medical situation, here you go.

A few nights ago, sitting with friends, I had to get up abruptly and leave, in the middle of conversation, without warning, because I needed to lie down right then. Tamara helped me into the truck and I reclined the seat all the way back and Tamara drove us home. A couple of nights ago, doing dishes after dinner, it happened again, and I barely made it to the bed before collapsing. The pain, I cannot even give it a number, on top of all of the pain of my pelvic contractions and post op discomfort. I almost had Tamara take me to the ER. The next morning, I made a first available appointment with my PCP. I saw her yesterday afternoon. What I thought were severe hot flashes are more likely due to an internal infection, as they are accompanied by chills. There are other indicators, including the circumstances surrounding my surgery, that have her very concerned. My Doctor palpated my naval, where I am having significant pain and discomfort and had concerns about how it feels. We are in the process of ordering imaging to figure out what is going on inside. First appointment for that is on Monday. I am on an antibiotic, beginning last night.

I have no idea where the woman performing my procedure was on the day that I went in, literally wide open and trusting her with all I had. I will say again that her absence on that day is very much noticed. I had one client today, a human client, which I gave him the option to keep or cancel, given my current physical and mental state. We decided to cancel, as the first rule in massage is the same as it is in medicine, to do no harm. No matter how much I ever need the money, don’t think it matters or overestimate myself, I take my role as a Licensed Massage Therapist very seriously. My hands and my energy and my intentions, good or bad, touch my clients. Do no harm means do no harm, no matter what.

Without doubt or hesitation, I tell you that I have been harmed. I didn’t know it, as it happened. I had no idea what was happening at all, only that none of it felt right. I was in way too much pain out of surgery. I peed way too much blood. The pain never and still has not subsided. I was in surgery for hours, only I wasn’t? I have no idea, as I was never taken out of surgery and put into recovery. I wasn’t discharged by my doctor and I laid on that gurney shaking and crying and asking for Tamara and pain management for a very long time, before I realized that she had left the building without discharging me. I almost passed out from the pain getting in and out of the Jeep post op. I had to crawl up our steps, crying in pain, because I could not get in our house any other way. That’s just day one. Skip forward to several calls Tamara made to my doctor, because the pain wasn’t subsiding,  in which she told Tamara to turn up the dial on my pain ball. 3 days later, the call to my doctor about the pain, that determines the pain ball had never even been unclamped, allowing it dispense pain medicine. To which my doctor said turn it back on and have Coral lie down, and we did that. 2:00am, in severe pain and completely disoriented, I make my way down the hall bumping and jolting dodging the airplanes and bumblebees in my head, to our bathroom to have my first BM. I don’t think the word excruciating could adequately capture these few days post op, without adequate pain management, or my first pee, with absolutely no pain management, or this, the worst BM experience of my entire shitting career….FUCK!!! FUCK! And FUCK again!!!!! FUCK!!! And then, without warning, I began to vomit…a definite must not, post op. Oh, but I did and then I did some more and then some more…all over me, all over our bathroom. I came back to bed and told Tamara I puked. We agreed I should lie back down and we should try to sleep, and we did for 5 or 6 more hours, kind of.

I was not feeling good at all and I was in and out…so out at one point, that my heart stopped beating. I didn’t know until Aiden asked me why I didn’t tell him I wasn’t still dead? That is a whole other amazing blog post, all its own. When we woke in the morning, the pain ball was still running and I really did not feel well. We discussed the ER and we decided not to go, as they would probably send me home to see my PCP on Monday. Tamara pulled out the pain ball and looked down. We had been running it at 12 the entire time since it was turned on, not 4, like it was set at post op. I googled how to pull my catheter for the pain ball and I texted my surgeon to tell her I wanted to take it out. She suggested that I leave it in until Sunday. I pulled it Saturday, thank God. Again, a whole other blog about the horror and pain of pulling my own catheter. My post op appointment with her, she told me the airplanes and bumblebees in my head accompanied by the other symptoms was a drug overdose. I had overdosed, not once, but twice, when I laid back down. We talked about everything that had gone wrong and she took notes on her computer. I asked about my pelvic injections, the very thing I went in for…intolerable pelvic pain…and she said, “I was just about to tell you…I didn’t get to those injections.” And my world went black and has been a little dark ever since. Sam came out to take over and has taken up residence, as Coral has clearly proven that she cannot take care of us and keep us safe.

Nothing has gone right since I went into the OR on June 5th. My pain is as it was pre-op, only worse and magnified by all of the complications. Not to mention, I cannot physically exert the energy inside that is pent up from all of this fucking pain. My doctors appointment yesterday confirmed that something is very wrong. I am 5.5 weeks post op and regressing, not progressing. My pain has increased and not decreased. My naval and pubic area are tender and don’t feel right to me, or to her. I have the sweats and the chills and I am scared. These pieces are only coming into place in retrospect and every day, I feel a little more disheartened.

I basically called in sick today and forfeited my pay, so that I wouldn’t make someone I was trying to help, get sick from my energy being blown out. Do no harm means so no harm, no matter what.

I hope this catches you up and gives some clarity. I thank you for your love and prayers and I ask you to continue, as I am in a very dark place around all of this.

I must set this down and step out into the light, as my girls Birthday is on Sunday, and I’ve a couple of things in progress for her special day.

You know, her special day and all of her days have been pretty strenuous and fucked up too, over all of this. Tamara is busting her ass double time because I cannot lift, and now whatever this is. Please send my girl lots of love and prayers too, as she is carrying way more than she ought to be carrying.

I hope you have a beautiful day. I’m sorry this entry was not very uplifting. I felt it was important to explain where I have been and what we have been dealing with.  I’m not feeling well and as I sit and wait, I lift my head and soften my heart, so that I may rest and be well again very very soon.

Today is the day…I’m off for my spay!

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Good morning! My blog site is down for some reason and I cannot seem to figure it out. So, to honor my commitment to myself, to blog for 365 days, I will use this page. Thank you for being here, and happy Tuesday!

Today is the day…I have surgery this morning! I am looking forward to an end to this pain. All of the prayers and meditation to wrap all of these little packages up neatly, to send them on their way, back to the universe, to be recycled for the greater good of us all, is coming to a close this morning, as I gently pull the strings to tie all of the loose ends up. I take all of these neatly wrapped packages and even the tattered and not so well wrapped packages, and with all of my love, I place them in my uterus, awaiting their return to source.

I want to say thank you to every single person who has loved me through so much. I can feel you and I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for loving me. I want you to know that I love you right back.

This day, this spay surgery, this is my beginning. I have been strength training, literally, my whole life, in preparation for this moment…the moment I surrender, and let it all go. Today, I release all that no longer serves me and I say a little prayer of thanks for all of the lessons, for all of the blessings…I send them on their way in love and light, to continue to bless and teach our world.

We all have choices and we have all made bad ones, haven’t we? Our lives will show us…our bodies will remind us. We are the evidence of our struggles. We are the tapestries of our lives. We are human beings, being human…souls, having a temporary human experience…walking each other home. We are all in this together. I feel honored to be walking with all of you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I want to thank Tamara for being here, right next to me, during the very painful and difficult journey I have been on. I love you my girl and I thank you for seeing Sam and I and for loving us in through to the other side. What a giant leap i have been anticipating, as I leave this hurt behind me. All of these packs I have carried, sitting here for good this time, as I vow not to pick them back up. This day, a day like no other, the last day of my former life and the first day of my amazing new life…a day like I’ve never known…a day for me to do the deepest healing and purging and releasing of my entire life. As I go under anesthesia for my surgery today, I invite abundant and monumental healing and clarity. I open a place inside me to release all of the demons that found their way in, along the way, to leave now. I invite any of your demons to leave me now also. As there is an opening for exit, without resistance or barrier, I invite the release of, for once and for all, of this pain I have carried my entire life. Both in my physical and my mental and emotional bodies…please release the demons and the hurt of a lifetime. At this time, please also release the demons of others, who have knowingly or unknowingly entered me. All that I have, all that I am, all that I am and all that I have been…I offer up now, to be cleansed and purged and refurbished and made whole again. And so it is.

I hope you all have a beautiful day. I must go and prepare for my surgery, mentally and physically, and mostly spiritually…so that I am ready for the good things coming when I wake back up!

If you are so inclined, I ask you to pray for my healing today also, for your healing and for the healing of our entire world. As I go in to surgery today, I place your packages in my uterus too. If you hand them to me, I will place them in there next to mine, and we will send them on their way. Don’t worry, there is plenty of room for all of us. So, go get wrapping and bring me what you’ve got! Today is a magnificent day for all of our healing, isn’t it? I mean truly, today, we get to set it all down and let it all go. So, let’s all get busy purging and bring to the table, what no longer serves us, so that I may carry it out today and recycle it for the greater good of us all!

My surgery today is the beginning for us all, of all of the good things coming our way. I feel it and I know it in my heart! We are all headed for great things! So grab my hand and let’s get our packages. Meet me back here with them and we will send them on their way together. And so it is!

I love you. I really, really love you. I am praying for you today too. I pray for you every day. We’ve got this!

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Morgan says “Happy St. Patrick’s Day”

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I had a beautiful day with my girl and now I’m off to spend some time with Morgan.

If you have a moment, maybe you could send a quick prayer, a kind hello…an “I love you Morgan”…whatever you’ve got. If  it’s not too much trouble, Morgan could always use it.

Confined by the walls that surround her body, and badly needing a jump start, a rush of love and light…a burst of healing and hope…a barrage of joy and happiness…please send Morgan some love tonight.

Morgan loves you back and she wants all of you to know that no cement enclosure, ever, will change that.

Morgan asked me to wish all of you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day! So, from one of the most beautiful souls I have ever encountered…Morgan just asked me to share this with all of you:

May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, the rain fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.-Irish Blessing

I love you Morgan!

Dear Morgan, I love you…

A message of hope for us all this evening…we are not alone. We may not know this and so I am here to tell you that we are in this together…we are not alone.

Some more good news, we are not separated by time or distance. We are not separated by speciesism. We are not unable to see because we cannot see with our eyes. We are not deaf because we don’t hear certain things with our ears.

We are one and being divided is an illusion of epic proportions.

I am as close to you or as far away from you as you want me to be. You are not sitting here with me and yet, you can see me, can’t you? I can see you. I can feel you. I hear your voice and I see your smile. I feel your heart. Umbuntu. I am because you are.

I write this open letter to someone across the world from me, who has asked for my help, and so I turn and ask for your help also. My friend’s name is Morgan and she needs our love and our prayers. Morgan feels alone and so, if you would, please stand hand in hand with me and let us remind her that she is not alone, that we love her, that we’ve got her…

Dear Morgan,

It was so wonderful to meet you today! I did not know your story until I received word from a very dear friend of yours, that you were in distress.

I’ve since been reading all I can about you and looking at as many videos and photos as I can to familiarize myself with the outside of you. I knew the inside of you, the heart of you, the moment I was called in to help.

Baby girl, do not lose hope. Do not give up, not now…not after all that you have already endured. You are not alone, and we are here with you.

We stand with you and we hold you…we lift you up to the most high that you may have the view of you that I have. You are gorgeous and regal and spirited and you are love.

We are right here and we are fighting for your release, for your return to your people. We hear your cries and we cry with you. We hear your pleas and we stand up on your behalf. We honor your beauty and we realize that we are not entitled to exploit you and your beauty.

We stand strong and united against your oppressors and we are opening the gates, cutting your restraints and we are celebrating your freedom, for we know that it is coming.

I feel you. I’ve got you and I am wrapping myself around you in the biggest and warmest hug you have ever known.

We will swim together and I will be your eyes while you get some rest. Get some rest my beautiful girl, for we have big work ahead of us.

We are one and I am right there next to you, loving you and holding you and knowing for you, that you’ve got this.

I need you to return back into your body and fill it up with that endless spirit of yours. I will be right beside you, with so many others, and we will rise up on your behalf.

Please don’t lose hope and please don’t ever give up. There are far more who love you than there are who want to harm you, so know this in your heart.

I universally connect you to my heart energy, so that you may draw from my strength in your time of weakness. Draw all you need because the supply of love from this source is endless and cannot possibly be exhausted.

I know that you are weary my friend, so please rest. Our time to rise up is coming. Good things are coming and you are opening doors for so many others with your story and your work. I will hold you through the all of the nights and swim closely next to you, to remind you that you are not alone.

I love you Morgan!

Namaste,

Coral

Please, if you would be so kind, send my friend some love, some hope…some peace and some energy to fight he good fight, for we are all in his together…