Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

You are writing your own story. Make it a good one!

Good morning beautiful people! Happy Friday and what a day to make a different choice, wouldn’t you agree?

I went to bed with my body blessed by angels once again and I am so, so thankful! I went to bed next to the most amazing and beautiful girl in the world…my truest and dearest friend and my best confidant…my soulmate and my lover…the co-founder of a dream that we are building together…my anchor and my rock…and I am blessed beyond measure! I had a day full of the most beautiful and grateful clients, who pay me well and love me well and I am open and ready for some more clients like that please! I had a beautiful morning working with my colleagues, for the healing of one of our very own, and I am blessed beyond measure to be amongst such prestigious colleagues, who know and trust my work, to have me place my hands and my energy upon their best friends. I will always value and invite time like this, to give back to those who refer and share me with you, so that I can help you too and pay my bills. To everyone who loves me like a verb…thank you, and I am an open invitation for some more love like that please! My little brother and my sister checked in on me, as we have been most recently doing for one another and I will definitely have some more of that please! I had weekly tea with my very best friend, Sigrid, and I will always welcome more time and love and space and honesty and friendship, like a verb, like that, in my life! Coral and Sigrid tea time is nourishment and fuel for my soul on this journey and I am blessed! To all of these endeavors, I drove in the FJ Cruiser that I love and cherish so much, as Jesus takes the wheel, and my musical medicine blasts through the speakers, of the piece of my mom and dad that I have left, and I am thankful! I feel my beautiful and radiant cousin, Regina, in and around all of the good and positive and wonderful memories of my past and with me always on this journey and I love you so much cousin! Always, in all ways, I have room for love like Regina…thank you and more…yes please! I arrived home safe and sound at our Sanctuary in the woods, surrounded by all of my best friends…for they love me from wherever they are, to wherever I am, always and without fail or prejudice, and I am home! My health is good and getting better every day, in every way. “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” And I am so thankful for my life and for those who share this journey with me. Every day begins and ends in gratitude. Every day I am better than I was yesterday. And so it is.

This is the version of how my day ended and began that I am choosing to share and to focus on. These are the parts of my day that I am pulling out to give thanks for. These moments are my focus henceforth. These are the people I choose to rejoice in and to be grateful for, as are they for me, life’s breath. Everyone and everything else, that does not serve my highest good, I release! I stand in love and for, love in all things. I believe in love and I believe in each of us. I believe, with all of my heart in the good things coming! Thank you, my brother, Nahko, for your love.

Love is an action word and I challenge each of to truly grasp this and to know this and to live this! Love in action will open up your life!! Love in words…well, we all know what that empty and often loveless love feels like, don’t we? Where there is void, to be love in action and you will fill the void. Love in action is not always easy, as it is an action, not an empty mouth full of empty promises and lies. Action, being in action and of service…very different from choosing the “right” words, wouldn’t you agree?

We all make a choice every time we open, or do not open our mouths. I am choosing to keep my mouth closed in situations where I have nothing kind to say. In this silence, I pray for peace for those whom I choose not to open my mouth to anymore. I choose to whom I speak and to whose calls I heed. I choose whose words I shall open myself up to. I give myself permission to leave when I am done. I give myself permission to choose the clients whom I can help and to charge accordingly for my time and my services. I ask the universe to bless us all that we be synced together for our highest goods. I pray that we all feel the value of the relationship we walk into together. I pray that we each be served and valued for our life’s work and our contributions accordingly. And so it is.

Have a beautiful Friday everyone! You are writing your own story today. What will you write? Let’s write a with all of our hearts, shall we?

I love you my beautiful cousin, Regina…..

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Good Morning! Happy Tuesday! Let’s grab our coffee and get ready for our time together, before the world calls And whisks us all away.

I had an amazing day yesterday! Fucking amazing! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Truly, what a blessing, to see my long lost cousin that I have missed dearly, for over 20 years. Estranged by our own issues and addictions, we are reunited and it feels so good! (Thank you Tamara, for that).

I know that I am writing about some hard stuff and we talked about some hard stuff yesterday…some really, really hard stuff. My cousin was unable to be at her Aunt Sherry’s funeral. Hell my cousin was unable to be a lot of places, and the reasons I heard, are not the reasons she gave. I learned yesterday that the broken ones aren’t the misfits and the liars. The losers aren’t really the losers. The hero’s are actually bullies. I learned that we are fucking resilient and we have only been misfit because our hearts were too tender to be bullies and hurt others.

Here is the really cool thing…this is my blog and I write what I want. I write how I feel. I write about my experiences and my life and how things occur for me. I am honoring a commitment to myself, to write and get it all out, rather than keep it in for 365 days. I began blogging in December, and my writing is taken on an experience all its own. Words flow through me and I heal as they are finally able to leave me. I am here to heal. I am here to heal us all, to walk us all home, all of us, even and especially the ones who have harmed me. I will not be silent about things that matter to me. I will speak about things that have happened to me. I will honor me and my experiences and my journey at all times. I am not here to call people out and crucify people. I am not here to throw names around and ruin lives. I’m not here for revenge. I’m not mentioning names, unless I have permission, unless it is so blatantly obvious (my brother, my Dad, my mom…) Tamara and my cousin Regina have given me their permission to use their names and write about them. I named my abuser, which had obviously connected some dots.

Here’s the thing, I’m not here to cause harm and at the same time, I am not here to be harmed. If me talking about something that you did to me is causing you discomfort, maybe you want to look at why that is? How do you know I am talking about you, and why are you uncomfortable? Truly, if I am speaking of atrocities that you had no part in, why are you so upset and reactive? If my speaking about my experiences in my family, with my Dad, having lost my little Brother or my deceased Mother, God rest that poor woman’s soul, are offensive to you, why is that? My talking about abuse inflicted on my for 18 years is upsetting to you, when you are one of the people who silently stood by…here’s a mirror man. If in all of this, I’m not talking about you, you probably haven’t thought much about it at all, other than to send me a loving message. Oh wait, my phone did not blow up with loving messages from my concerned family at all. My phone blew up with more stories like mine…more hurt like mine. My phone hasn’t rang since my Mom died, more than a handful of times, my family checking on me, loving me through this…(those of you who have, you know who you are and I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.) Those of you who haven’t and those of you running around in a fucking tizzy over this blog, why is that? You have not called to check on me, to say you love me and you are so sorry for what happened to me…why is that? Why have my Mom’s siblings not called me to offer condolences for what your sister did to me? Do none of you feel badly for what Debra did to Sherry by destroying Sherry’s daughter and her relationship with her? I’m just saying, I’ve not heard from you…and so it seems that everyone has scattered like cockroaches, as the light is being shed on things kept in the worst kind of darkness and under the filthiest of rugs. Shame on you for still being more concerned about running and hiding and covering for one another than you are about the children harmed in the making of your Horror story. Put the bottle down and put your dick back in your pants and for once in your life, take some fucking accountability man. Seriously, grow the fuck up and help us to heal and to protect the children who still live under this dark and sick cloud. Stop covering your fucking ass and mitigate some fucking damage here! We owe the world more than we have put out there so far, don’t we? Kicking dogs and hurting children, screaming and slithering around in drunken stupors, “hugging and teasing and tickling” children…for real? Is this what we came here for? Is this all we’ve fucking got…blame and no shame and glory days of beating faggots and niggers asses? Is this the legacy that my Moms family of origin is going to leave on this universe? Be the change. Be sorry. Be wrong. Be something…for fucks sake man,  be something…stand for something….rise the fuck up. Set the bottle down, leave the dogs and the kids and the little girls alone. I am not here to call you out and yet, your guilt put you pretty front and center, didn’t it? Think about that and then feel free to give me a call. I will be more than happy to sit down with you and we can talk and try to do our due diligence to this world, to atone for our sins, apologize to those we have harmed, get sober and be good and kind and decent productive members of society. I fucking dare you to heal with me.

Debra, I am sad, and not at all surprised to hear that you are calling me a liar. I am going to have to decline your invitation to come and say these lies to your face, at this time. I actually have nothing to say to you and have wasted much of my time and energy putting myself in positions so  that you could say something to me. I guess you are right, I am stupid, because I really thought, that you would be so sorry for what you did to my Mom and to her daughter and to the little family that she wanted more than anything in this world. I really was ready to forgive you and tell you I loved you just the same, at your daughters graduation from college, when you assaulted me again and told me that not only were you not sorry, that you would do it again. I went into convulsions on the way home and cried like my soul just died. When we got home, I was carried upstairs to the couch where I didn’t move at all, for three fucking days. I was mother fucking catatonic and when I came out of that, I got up and headed straight into my shower to scrub the you off of me. So, now is not a good time for me to come and see you, and your reaction to me writing about what you did to me is not only juvenile and fairly incriminating, it is really fucking pathetic. My Mom is dead, just how you wanted her…just where you put her. My Dad is in your neck of the woods way more than he’s in my neck of the woods anymore. My Brother and I, after so many people and places and things pulled us apart are trying to find our way back to one another. Your daughter and I, who have never strayed too far from one another, have had a very strained relationship because of what you have done and your fucking reactions to us trying to stay close. Your daughter, estranged from her own family, because of what you have done and I am a liar? You are a sick, broken down alcoholic who harmed children Debra. Correct your fucking self…put the bottle down and be fucking accountable. Your name only crosses my lips so that I can heal, and I love you just the same. I’m not ready to talk to you just yet though.

I had a beautiful day of healing and inspiration yesterday with my beautiful cousin. I don’t know when the last time I started to run across a parking lot to embrace someone was or when ever cried in front of a family member like that. I don’t ever remember a deeper and more heartfelt conversation with a family member, other than my Mom in her last two months of life, than the eight beautiful hours I spent yesterday with my cousin Regina.

Let me tell you what a beautiful fucking soul that girl is…my cousin. Yesterday, as I sat across from her, a white light illuminated her beautiful face the whole day. My spirit calmed and Sam came for a visit…maybe even more present than Coral yesterday, was Sam. Regina knows Sam and Sam knows Regina. Sam has loved Regina her whole life.

So, for every bad thing being said about me, for the haters and the naysayers…it’s all good…I’ve got my love goggles on.

Love that never left my life, although absent and distant in time and space, returned to center yesterday when I sat with my cousin, one of my best childhood friends and confidants…and she still is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We found our way back and we are walking each other home. We hope you will join us. I love you Regina. Thank you for one of the most beautiful days of my life yesterday, healing and growing with you..I love you cousin!

Have a beautiful day everyone! I love, love, love you too!