Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

Be the Angel that you have prayed for…

Good afternoon everyone! Happy Sunday! I have missed you. Hell, I have missed me! I will not lie. The struggle has been real and I have had to hold my tongue. I return today with love in my heart, to where we left off with the beautiful new paint, in our healing room!

I hope you are loved deeply by someone. Being loved deeply by someone has truly saved me and given me the strength, to begin to find ways to love me deeply. I am talking about being loved deeply, like a verb. Loved so deeply that you cannot not feel it. I am learning how to love, and part of how I am learning is to feel how I want to be loved. I want to feel it in my soul and know it in my heart and so that is where I begin. To me, love like this has to be a verb, because I have to feel it. I cannot see it. I cannot hear it. Not unless it is in action and in harmony with how I want to feel it. I must know it in my soul because it has returned to me, this knowing of love. I have always known. Now, I feel home.

I write today for us all, to remind us that we are not alone. Not really a poem…a writing from me to you, to remind you to be the Angel that you have prayed for.

When we scream out in need, love answers the cry. We must feel it. We know only what we have come to feel, not what we have come to hear.

When we pray for the angels, they appear. Often in ordinary clothes and without their wings. Angels on earth walk among us and they guide us home.

When the darkness overcomes us and the demons run us out, love brings us back to our own soul. Love will never co-exist with fear and God will never co-exist with fear. God is love. Fear is not God. Fear is not love. God is benevolent. We forget, don’t we? Our own divinity…we forget that we are God. God created you in his image and God is in your mirror. We are not and never have been separate from God. God is not out there. God is in here. He asked me to remind us all of this. And so it is.

Every single one of us is here with opportunity to be an angel to someone else, every single day.

Every single one of us will see the angels we have called upon if we lose our expectation as to what they will look and be like. Angels will feel like angels. You will always know the angles among you.

What feels amazing to you? What lights you up? What cozies you up in loves embrace? Go be that for someone else. We must act outside of ourselves, in both thought and deed, and the angels will surround us. Wayne Dyer reminds us to want what we want, more for someone else, than we want it for ourselves. The person you are struggling to love right now, love them the most. Want for them, more for them, what you want for you, than you want it for you. Truly. If you doubt, try it and then you shall doubt no more.

Unconscious action and behavior still has accountability.

Compassion is just a word without action. Karuna means compassionate action in Sanskrit.

Love is just a word without action.

Saving those without voices does not only include the animals and sentient beings. Those without voices are those who cannot and do not and have a voice to speak up for themselves.

Being an advocate for anyone begins with first advocating for yourself, with all of your heart. You must fight harder for you than you will ever fight with anyone else. In the end, the battle is only ever with yourself anyway.

If you want it badly enough, you are the only one who can make it happen for you. Only you can set it down and never pick it back up. SOJA thank you. You are the only one who can release whatever it is that you are struggling to release. Stop holding whatever it is and hold yourself instead. I believe you. I have always believed in you.

We…you and I…we are fabulous, aren’t we? Angels and lovers and friends…we are blessed. We are love. Let us go out there and spread ourselves amongst those who do not know that they are angels also, shall we?

Have a beautiful Sunday afternoon! Go be the Angel that you have prayed for, for someone else! I love you!

I found the remedy for my pain!

Good morning everyone! Happy Saturday! I had a rough night, full of nightmares and dreams of vomiting and running and vomiting repeatedly. The tears started as soon as I opened my eyes and I said hell to the fucking no! I am not letting this pain hijack me again today! I jumped into action this morning, with my new remedy for this pain. I know I have to change the way I am looking at things and so when I feel like this, I have committed to being of service in some way, to take me out of me. I will not be controlled by my fear and my pain, at least not today! I know the remedy for my pain is to be of service, to love and help others…to be love…to hug and smile and laugh and to share myself with you!

I came down to the studio to blog and to meditate. Somehow, I needed to do more. I received and email from Propeller yesterday and I finally opened it this morning, inviting me to volunteer on Andrew McMahons tour. Andrew founded the Dear Jack foundation to help young adults diagnosed with cancer. I disregarded it a few times and something kept pulling me back. I listened and I opened it and I applied to volunteer at his event in Aspen Colorado on March 10, 2018, for his Upside Down Flowers Tour. I always find myself wanting to do things like this and I rarely make the time. We make time for what is important. Loving and being of service and healing…those are all top priority for me right now. I am going to make the time, even though I could give myself a dozen excuses not to. I am important. You are important. Being of service to one another is why we are here. We must truly look at what is important to us and at what drives and heals and propels us, and we must take action.

My Mom died unexpectedly and very quickly of cancer, on December 3, 2015. I have not been okay since. My life literally went offline to a large degree, and has been such since. Countless hours at the cemetery and billions upon billions of tears. So, so much loss. So, so much unrecognized and unhealed pain. I have shaved my head for many, many years for people with cancer. My mom insisted that I not shave for her and I honored her wishes and did not shave while she was living. After my Mom passed away, I shaved my head for her and for so many of you with cancer,and I had “FUCK CANCER” tattooed across the back of my head. Presently I am shaving for 5 people in my life with cancer, and for everyone battling cancer. I shave every couple of days and I shave in silence, solidarity, prayer and reflection. I will never not shave my head, to give Sampson’s strength to those of you fighting this battle. Please know how much I love you and that I am with you always, loving you and cheering you on. When your time comes, I will be with you still, to carry you home. I will always be with you.

The past two weeks hit me even harder than my moms cancer hit me and I have not been okay at all. I have known not what to do. I have been a constant companion of Wayne Dyer and Nahko and SOJA and Rumi. I have been in silence and in prayer, wailing on my knees and inconsolable. Yesterday, with all of my might and with everything in me, I promised me to pull me out of this before it destroys me. I know I came here to love and to teach love, to be of service and inspiration. And so it is.

This morning I made the same choice again. One minute at a time for me right now, with one foot in front of the other, I cross the threshold into me…I am here to find me! I hope you will come along. I’m so glad you are still here. I fucking love you! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for how you all love me. Have a beautiful day everyone! Go out today and be an instrument of thy peace. Be someone’s reason to smile. Be that hug that you give away because you know you need one too.