Coral’s Healing Room at Coralsblog.com 505-269-9242 iwritetohealmyself@gmail.com I rise early. I go to bed early. If you need me, I will make myself available to you.

When we take what we need, we can begin to offer what we have

Happy Saturday morning everyone. I am glad you are here. I feel better pulling myself off of social media for a bit. Everything feels so negative and heavy and unenlightened and it’s just a bit too much for me right now. The energy of it all drains me and causes me sadness and anxiety. And so, here we are, in the healing room. Thanks for being here!

I am kind of existing in a certain sadness right now. There aren’t words for it. It just is. Reality became clear and my heart became broken and it really is that simple. I know we all feel this way sometimes. I am just finally letting myself just feel it until I don’t feel it anymore. Tossing and turning and not eating or sleeping…all signs that I have had a bit too much. These are the same signs that I ignore and push through most of the time. For me, for now though…I hear myself saying that I need to take a moment. I need to heal. I need to cry and let go. I hear all of you all of the time. I am finally screaming so fucking loudly inside that I hear me too. I must take what I need so that I am able to offer what I have.

My journey with Robin and Aiden further opened me up to my purpose. My journey with you opens you to your purpose. That is why we are each here…to walk each other home. On our walk, let us not forget the people right beside us. Let us not be so fucking cliche and hurt the ones we love the most. We can stop doing this…we must stop doing this. Loving someone the most is not a license to disregard their heart and their feelings. Hurt people hurt people. We must break this cycle. If you’re hurting someone…stop. Truly, do what you need to do to fix yourself to stop hurting others. You really don’t have the right. Your excuses…well they are just that…they are your excuses. Your fucked up programming and your insufficient child rearing…your diagnosed disorders and your mental inadequacy…all legit and all yours to figure out. Society does not owe you and we do not owe you. You are going to have to pull yourself out of this on your own. Each of us has come to this place, where we are all we’ve got. Each of us are all we’ve got. Everyone and everything else is an illusion.

  • My life is a pretty open book. Our home has also been a revolving door. Our private life is in the distant past. Being on display has proven to be a bit much at times. The scrutiny and the rhetoric around who we are and how and what we do…the morbid fascination with us…it’s pretty surreal and unprecedented. We are here for the animals, and somehow, we fall under scrutiny for every little thing with the people. Strange dichotomy for sure. Learning to live this way is proving challenging at times. And so I find myself in constant prayer and meditation. I am pretty melancholy and badly beaten from the blows. I am not and I will not be broken though. The sadness from the inside is running down my cheeks. I feel like I’ve been in battle. I set my sword down, for I am weary and I need rest. The battle I’ve been fighting is only ever with myself.
  • The snow on the trees and the chill in the air…the darkness around me and Taos at my feet. The stillness overrides the undercurrents in my life that do not serve my highest good. The stillness finally overcomes me also. No time or words for the things that elude me…a clear reminder that they must not be my things. And so I set them back down. I was so caught up that I forgot to even notice that I picked them up at all.
  • As I learn, I grow. As I move forward, I regress. As I finally get it, I forget. As I try too hard, I am reminded to stop trying and to just be. The not taking shit personally though…fuck me running…For the life of me, I cannot yet see, how things with my name directly on them are not to be taken personally. Hence, a work in progress. Working every day to progress a little more, in the direction of my own soul and my dreams, to a world that chooses love.
  • Have a beautiful Saturday everyone and thank you for joining me here! I love you!